10 Ways to Glorify God in Your Miscarriage. A Personal Letter.
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Dear Friend,
I know there is a good chance that if you are reading these words, you have gone through the grief and bereavement of miscarriage. You may even be in the midst of one now, or want a glimpse of how to glorify God and deal with this ordeal, should you be among those to have to endure it in the future.
I wanted to share with you, beloved, that it finally happened to me. This past week I was the victim of a miscarriage. Until now, miscarriage was something that happened to “other” women. I had snuck by with four healthy pregnancies which produced beautiful children. I was exempt. Or so I thought.
Looking back over the past days, I am in awe of how gracious God has been to me in so many ways. I am well aware that my experience could have been a lot more traumatic, the timing a lot more inconvenient, and the luxury of recovery nonexistent. I am counting my blessings, and they are not few!
God has never, nor will ever give you more than you can handle, precious one. I have seen this clearly over the past week of my life.
Here are 10 ways to glorify God through your miscarriage (ABC’s):
Acknowledge that God is sovereign, all-knowing. A sparrow does not fall to the ground without His consent (Matthew 10:29-30), a hair does not leave your head without his noting. He knows. And you can fully trust, beautiful sister, that for some reason which you may never understand, He has lovingly allowed this occurrence. He is Good. Trustworthy. Wise. Love.
Be thankful. Meditate on the excellence of His blessings in your life. Those that are too many to count. The ones that you see. And those that you don’t. The ones that you take for granted. The children that He has already gifted you. Those walking miracles. Let your heart overflow with thanksgiving for it all.
Compassion. You, and now I, can lend a heart of the greatest compassion for others who have and are experiencing the hardship and heartache of miscarriage. It is you who can comfort from a walk of knowing. And can point the suffering to the God of all Comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
Depend on God’s love through others. Receive the meals that you aren’t able to prepare. Accept the phone calls of loved ones concerned. Soak in the prayers of the saints on your behalf. Savour God’s love pouring in through others. Lean on it. And breathe.
Ease back into life. An easy search on the internet will prove that recovery after a miscarriage takes at least two weeks. Allow yourself that extra time of rest, doing as little as possible until your strength returns. My friend, Lisa, from Club31 Women gave me this excellent advice, and taking it saved me potential emotional and physical complications.
Forge ahead. It may take time. It will take time. Your baby will not be forgotten if your life continues. She will forever be embedded in your heart, and in God’s Heaven. You and I need to continue running the race towards the prize that God has called us heavenward (Philippians 3:13-14) and she will be there, waiting for you, at the finish line. Go on living, fixing your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of your faith.
Grow in the Lord. There are lessons here to be learned. Lessons of faith and trust that God intended for you to learn through your grief and mourning. I urge you. Don’t pass these by. Take time to think. Meditate. Ponder. Pray. Tune in to what He is doing in your heart, and the new truths that it is His will for you to walk in. Grow.
Hope. There is hope. You may not feel it. You may have lost it. Your hope is not in your own ability to “get over this,” or that you will forget and “move on.” Your hope, my sweet friend, is in the Lord Himself (Psalm 42:11), in His promises to you in His Word, and in the joy that if you know Him and His forgiveness of sins, have embraced Him and surrendered to His salvation plan, you will see your baby again.
Include others. It is so easy to shut others out of your pain. Not to receive the love and consolation, but rather to withdraw into a shell of seclusion where you are left to pity and nurture your heartache. One of the kindest actions you can do for yourself is to include others into your sphere of loss. Make the effort to go out of “island” mode and allow yourself to be rescued.
Joy. The joy of the Lord is your strength. All that you know of God. Every moment that you have already experienced in Him. Let those bring you joy at this time. He has never let you down before. Never disappointed. He has been ever-faithful every step of the way. And He has not changed. Has not left or forsaken (Hebrews 13:5). Even in the midst of this. You can rejoice.
My heart is with you. I am now one of the multitudes. I am weak at this very time of writing. Both physically and emotionally. But I know that my King reigns, and it is only by His grace, that you and I can see Him through the pain of miscarriage.
Update
P.S. The Lord has seen fit to allow us to have another little baby be taken directly into His loving arms this week (November 2016). I wrote our sweet unborn babe a letter, that I thought you may like to read, and consider doing it too as an exercise of healing for your broken heart… You may read the letter here. xoxo
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With my love to you,
Tehila
What advice can you add to encourage someone who has been through a miscarriage?
Thank you for this post. My husband and I have had 6 miscarriages, with no children in our home. It was a struggle to remember these thruths through the first few losses. God has been faithful and allowed me to reach out and encourage others who are hurting because of miscarriages and infertility. In all things, God has a plan and purpose.
Myra, thank you so much for sharing your story. How hard it must have been to have had all those many miscarriages, but I so greatly admire the way your attitude is to use your hardship for God’s glory, and the way He is using you in the lives of other women. You are an inspiration!!! With much love and care xoxo
I don’t normally comment on articles that I read but this one was so uplifting to me in my time of need now.
I am currently going through a miscarriage. I have PCOS and I thought it was a miracle that I could even conceive so my husband and I were ecstatic. We told my parents along with my paster and his wife because we knew that we would need prayer. I found out about 2 weeks into my pregnancy that my progesterone levels were low and I didn’t have morning sickness which I had in abundance when I was pregnant with my son 6 years ago. I immediately thought there was a problem when I started spotting. I had an ultrasound around 8 weeks along and they only found an empty sac. They did blood tests but my HCG levels were not rising like they should. I was devastated! The Monday after my ultrasound they called me with the results of my third blood test and told me that I’m miscarrying and that I could take a pill to hurry it along but I didn’t want to rush the process. I wanted it to happen naturally. Last night I tossed and turned with period-like cramps and woke up to moderate bleeding. I started praying and then I went on the computer and found this site.
I praise God for you sharing your experiences including your recent loss. I’m sorry that you have gone through it and at the same time praise God that there is someone who is willing to talk about it from experience and glorify God through it all. I’m still very upset but instead of keeping it to myself I’ve been honest with my husband and sisters in Christ about what’s going on. I believe they have been praying alongside me as I go through this. I’m so sorry to hear about your recent loss. I will be praying for you.
Precious Candace, I am wondering how you are doing? You experienced the heartache of miscarriage the same week I did, and I’m thinking you’re probably still not 100% “over it” as I am not. It is around this time that we would have had our babies, but yet God didn’t intend for that to happen. He knew all along that He would promote our sweet little ones to glory and hold them safely for us, before we do. And that’s Okay… because He is a good, kind, caring, loving, and gracious God, even though His ways may be beyond what we can understand. Just wanted you to know that I haven’t forgotten you, as we are on the same journey – children of our God – having walked in pain, but enjoying His ever-present, all-encompassing love and care. My love to you today xoxoxo
Thank you so much for this! God bless you for sharing! I lost my baby at 4 weeks. I was overjoyed when I found out that I was expecting. I wanted this baby so much, but the creator of my life has a purpose and I am trusting him!
Blessings to you and your family!
Precious Elizabeth! Thank you so much for sharing your pain with me. It doesn’t matter how early you lose a baby, the pain is still real, and the loss is still great. My heart goes out to you, as do my prayers. I know that as you learn to trust in the Lord, leaning not on your own understanding, acknowledging His paths – He will make your paths straight, comforting you and sustaining you (Proverbs 3:3-4). With my love and care and compassion xoxoxo
Thank you so much for these encouraging words.
I have just suffered my second late-term miscarriage, and there are few words to express the grief and heartbreak that occurred with each one. I am just beginning my final year of med-school residency, where I am studying to become an obstetrician. I have been struggling with the irony of delivering babies day-in and day-out, when I have been unable to carry my own to term. With each pregnancy, we have carried to six months before losing them. As a doctor, I understand what little medical backing there is for miscarriage. As a woman of God, however, I have struggled with the “w’s”. Why me? Why again? What did I do wrong? When will it be my turn?
My husband and I have been working very hard to remain faithful to God through each loss. We understand and trust that God is sovereign and faithful – and will continue to be so. It’s okay to be sad, but trusting Him in the midst of the sadness us what has gotten us through – and gives us hope for the future. Trusting that it’s all for His glory. Even though it sucks in the “now”, and the pain never really goes away, it’s going to be okay because of who God is. Hope based on Christ, not in circumstance.
Thank you for sharing your wise words with us!
Precious, beloved, Heather! I read your story and cried. I know and trust and am 100% convinced that God is present with you and in the midst of your trial, holds you lovingly and understandingly. It is so hard when He allows hardship into our lives, with no explanation – where all we can do is choose to trust Him, and acknowledge Him in all our ways (Proverbs 3:3-5). How are you doing now? Even though you wrote this comment a couple of months ago, I have thought of and prayed for you often. Your faith is absolutely inspiring and I know that God has equipped you with the eternal perspective that you so desperately need to help you and to be a light even in the midst of such despair. I would love to hear how you are…. God bless you, beautiful sister!!! xoxox
Hi! Thank you for your kind words!
I am doing well, all things considered. My husband and I are leaving it in God’a hands now. It has – and continues to be – a long, hard process, but we are still focused on glorifying God through all of it. I have joined a group called Mommies with Hope, and it is such an inspiring group that teaches you how to not be angry with the Lord in the moments of loss.
My husband is working toward his phD in clinical psychology with a lean toward spiritually integrated therapy and is establishing the parameters of the study for his dissertation. I am so thankful and lucky to have a husband who shares and celebrated my love for God.
We continue to grieve, but are working hard to stay uplifted and inspired through His love.
If you would like to continue to converse, please feel free to email me! I would love to hear from you!
What a huge blessing to hear of this update, Heather! I literally have tears in my eyes! Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring focus on the Lord… Life really does need to go on, doesn’t it? We can’t stay in our sorrow, but we learn to going on walking in all that the Lord has for us, while He heals and deals with our pain… I am SO impressed with both of you, and you are super blessed by Almighty God to have each other!!! I would loooooove to keep in touch by email!!! You’ll hear from me soon 🙂 With my love and appreciation for pointing me and all of the Women Abiding community to lift their eyes towards Heaven, and to seek His Kingdom and his righteousness above all else. Big hugs, my beautiful friend xoxoxo
Yesterday marks the 3rd miscarriage for my husband and I this year alone. I am 30 years old and have been married for 10 years. We fear the Lord Our God and serve Him and Him only. We would like a 4th child. However I feel as if it is not going to happen and have lost hope of any chances of having a successful pregnancy. I feel as if iys my fault. Like I am doing something wrong and have no idea what it is. I came across this article and want to thank you for the encouraging words, they are helping me even now. I can feel so much peace from the words you write. Be blessed.
Precious Angela… What pain you have gone through in the space of even one year! I’m so encouraged by your faith and your commitment to entrusting your life to the Lord, even when your desire to have another child seems as though it’s not coming to pass. When we belong to God, He does not “punish” us, or pour out His “wrath” on us. He knows and loves you, and even though He is for some reason that we can’t understand, allowing these painful trials into your life, it is NOT your “fault.” His righteousness covers you, His favour envelops you, and His compassion is upon you… There is always hope in Him, although in our own temporal minds we may lose sight of it… I’d love to hear how you are doing now… Dwell in His Word, and may He comfort and sustain your joy and faith today and always… With my love, hugs and affection, Tehila xox
After almost 2 years trying to have our first child child with my husband, we got the good news that I’m pregnant this year. We were certain that God was bringing us laughter as its less than 6 months that my father in law passed away in a car accident that involved my husband. This month end we were planning on doing a thanks giving offering for the blessing that is growing in me. Last week Fri we went for our second check up & got the worst news – my baby had no heart beat. I was devastated, angry & confused how this could happen after so long praying for a baby. We couldn’t even make it to church for our thanks giving offering as planned as our hearts were in pain thinking where is God. Today I’m going for the D&C procedure – hardly got any sleep & that’s when I came across this website. I need guidance to bible verses to give me strength as I can’t even pray – just don’t know where to start. God bless you all ladies who have had to go through a miscarriage & may God bless you Tahila for giving us strength with your blog. You are helping thousands & thousands of women out there – may you not give up in what God is doing with your life & in praying for us.
Oh my darling Amy!!! I have cried tears of sorrow and mourning for you today… My heart truly breaks at the disappointment, discouragement and heartache that this loss has caused you and your husband… I know that God is the God of all comfort, and that His grace is sufficient for you. But I also know how you are hurting right now, and even though you have so many understandable questions, this same God is holding you and sustaining your hearts! You may be looking around you and wondering where He is, but Deuteronomy 33:27 promises you that “The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” They are beneath you and over the coming days, they are the only and best arms to rest and lean on. And when you feel as though your Lord is not near, think on Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” He is right there with you, precious Amy. In the thick of your grief and your pain and your searing loss. I know that God feels far away to you now, but just remember what He said, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” (James 4:8). When you’re ready, He will still be there for you (as ever present as He is now), waiting patiently, longingly, and lovingly for you… My heart is with you 100% Amy. I have prayed for you since the moment I read your comment, and will continue to do so. With my love, sympathy, and friendship – – Tehila xoxoxoxoxo
Hi Tahila, thank you for your encouraging words it really confirm my thoughts when I went through a miscarriage just few hours ago, 31st March 2016. I was thankful to God for my 3kids. I knew in my heart that his thoughts towards me are good and I recognized his sovereignty. However, the thoughts of how excited I was when I found out, started knitting, preparing a place to keep the baby when am back in the office, the names I already got in my Spirit to name my baby ;Nigerian name OluwaTimileyin which means God is behind me, which will be shortened Tee-me, Praise (if it’s a boy) and Heavenly( if it’s a girl). But it did not happened as I thought and dreamt of…. Well I believe all things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to his purpose. It’s good to have a relationship with Christ in moments like this because He alone can give us true comfort and strength. Thank you God bless you.
Oh sweet Marie! I am so so sorry for your loss… You are taking it so well, and your faith is AMAZING, but I know how hard it is, and it may take a while before you part with your little one in your heart (for now, until you see him/her again one day)… Thank you for sharing your sadness and hope with me. I will be praying for you, dearest sister! God bless you and keep you and comfort you moment by moment… With love and care, Tehila xoxo
hi Marie, i too know this feeling and i had a mine in May 2016 at 8weeks and its my first baby. I am Nigerian too and those names are beautiful so you should not lose hope.
I am so thankful to have come across this post. My husband and I thought we were finished with our family. I had an iud for 4 years….and somehow still became pregnant. The doctor was shocked, as were we, but we had embraced the idea of adding on a third child to our family. Then, just a few days after my last ultrasound (and on Christmas day, nonetheless), my miscarriage started. Such a traumatic experience…to awake on Christmas morning, the day we are celebrating the birth of our Savior, to such a tragedy. Trying to make it through, what is normally such a joyous morning, for our two children that we already have. I am so broken….my heart feels at it has been torn out of my body.
And now we are faced with more choices. We were finished before this. Then, we thought God had decided that he wanted to miraculously bless us with one more….now I’m not so sure. Where do we go from here? Do we try for another child? Everything is so confusing right now…so raw, so hard. But — God is still here. I am trying to lean on him, but it is so hard to praise Him in this storm.
This post has helped tremendously, and I so appreciate your kind words in your time of grief. Thank you so much!
Darling Beth, how my heart broke as I read through your note. I so much regret that nothing I say or pray could bring your beautiful little one back. I am in awe of your faith, your strength, and your perspective during this most difficult trial. You are asking good questions, and I have no doubt that as you seek the Lord, He will guide you perfectly in these matters.
I realised years ago that we never regret having another child, but we can always regret *not* having another child. My personal heart is that children are *SUCH* an incredible, rich, God granted blessing, and that whatever the considerations in whether to have another one or not, should God give this gift, our lives are the fuller, richer, and more beautiful as a result when we do… If you were to have another, I can guarantee 100% that you will never look back. In fact, you will not be able to imagine your life without your little one – as you well know from having been blessed with two other precious children.
My beautiful friend, right now is probably not the right time to be making major decisions, and as you yourself experienced, ultimately everything is in God’s hands anyway… I’d recommend that you take the time to grieve the loss of this beloved soul whom the Lord spared from this harsh life on Earth… be in the present moment, and don’t miss what He is doing in your heart and life… There will come a time when decisions may need to be made, but today is not that time…
I’m here for you, Beth.. please reach out.. let me know how you are doing… I am praying for you big time! With my love, care and heart, Tehila xoxoxo
praise the lord, i am jessica long by name and am from uk, i have been married for the past 20years without no fruit of the womb, i was so disturbed as i entered into my menopus at the age of 51, i felt that i have been forgotten not untill one day as i was searching the internet if i still gat the chance to conceive then i was directed to a page where a woman also gave a testimony about some harbal healer who helped her with some medicine in her menopus stage and now she can carry her own child, i decided to contact this man with faith and then he gave me an response to cut the long story short bredren i was finally brought this medicine, he asked me to take the medicine before going to bed with my husband, bredren when i actually followed his instruction hold and behold two months later i was confirmed pregnant by my doctor and now am a mother, some people make take my story as fake but please for those of you that believe this please here is the personal email of the traditional [email protected] i promise he will give you the solution you seek once again his email is [email protected]
Thank you for sharing your incredible story, and yes, God uses different things and people in our lives to bring about His will. I’m so blessed to hear that He has granted you to be a mother, given you the desire of your heart and fulfilled it! May he continue to work in your family’s life and may you know Him in a very precious, real, and personal way. With love to you, Tehila xoxo
So, so sorry for your loss. I too was a miscarriage survivor – 6 of them. Watching as one child walks through infertility and another with one child and now 3 miscarriages. Some years back God showed me that had I not walked through that I would never have had the two beautiful children I have today – grown and married and wonderful kids. I would walk through it again to experience the joy I have today.
I normally don’t post one of my links but I wrote about my babies here. https://mixwilliams.wordpress.com/2012/12/20/my-most-memorable-gift-from-god-trust-fund-baby/
I love your beautiful perspective, Debbie. Thank you so much for sharing how thankful you are now for your children and how you learned so much for your hardships. I know that your comment will be a great encouragement to those going through this trial right now.
God bless you, dear sister! xoxo
Oh what great faith you got. Thanks for sharing! Also went through one, we lost our first baby at 3 weeks. I was angry, scared but Thank God for Jesus, it brought us closer as a couple. It made me realise he is still God in all situations. He makes everything beautiful in his time Eccl 3.11 that was my verse and is still is. They is hope in Chist. Hope to write my story one day God willing. I am a mom to a 2&half year old son perfect in every sense. We named him Tadisa meaning We have loved (gift from God)….
Praise the Lord, Mimi. God has blessed you, and even though what you went through with losing your first baby was so difficult, I love the way you see the good that the Lord brought out of it. You are clearly an amazing lady… Keep following Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength! Love to you xoxo
Lovely post. Sharing with a pregnancy and infant loss group.
That’s wonderful to hear, Ally. Thank you and God bless you for sharing a message that I am convinced hurting moms need to hear.
As I read through the many comments and replies it was encouraging to see that through your time of grief you were able to not only make others feel better, but give them comfort in your response. God gave you a gift through this post and I believe that was to help other woman in the same circumstance. Stand strong and keep sharing your gifts with this broken world.
Thank you so much, Michelle, for your beautiful encouragement. My prayer for this post has indeed been answered 100 fold, to touch others! You are a blessing!
Dear Tehila,
I am glad that your post is still helping those who have miscarried. I’m sorry for your loss but you have been blessed with four children which does ease the loss somewhat.
I, too, have miscarried and read many stories of those who have dealt with infertility issues for years. It is a difficult path to walk, and a difficult trial to accept. Being able to conceive and bear a child seems like it should be a natural happening. And when it doesn’t, a mixture of emotions and thoughts can plague one.
I am old enough now to be a grandmother. The Lord blessed us with two adopted sons–one at 2 days of age and one at 5 and 1/2 years. I have seen his blessing through the miscarriage. But the longing to have felt my child growing in me will always leave an emptiness.
I think it is important to understand that this issues impact lives on various levels. While we need to encourage them in the Lord, we must also tend to the realities of their loss.
Blessings,
Janis
Beloved Janis! I so much appreciate your tenderhearted words. I am sure many will read them and be touched. God bless you, dear one! <3
Thanks for sharing your heart on this delicate subject. God bless you.
I can’t even imagine. My heart goes to all those moms. Thanks for sharing at Thursday Favorite Things!
I’ve never suffered a miscarriage but my daughter has and it is devastating !!! But my daughter and son-in-law have keep a good attitude and are holding on to God for their pain. Thanks for sharing your heart touching story and may God surround you with His love.
Thank you, Rebecca. I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter going through a miscarriage. The grief and pain truly does affect so many around us. I’m sure you are a great comfort to her during this difficult time. God bless you!
Hi, Tomorrow is one month since I had a miscarriage at 7 week’s of being pregnant. I know God has his own plan and purpose For what has happened and I am so grateful for the strength and courage he has given my husband and I thus far but it’s so heart breaking….My husband and I have been married for two years now and this was our first child, having a baby brings such joy to a couple and also families….Losing a baby is devastating and Im just trusting my God for another miracle. We leave our lives in his hands, may his will be done. As long as I live and in every situation I will my praise my God because he is an amazing God. Thanks guys for sharing your experiences, it’s comforting knowing that I’m not alone and encouraging to know that you have such faith. I pray Gods riches blessings on everyone of you.
Hello lovely Trisha… how are you doing now? It’s been almost 9 months since your baby went to be in the arms of the Lord… I’m thinking of you today… Much love, Tehila xoxo
Hello lovely Trisha… how are you doing now? It’s been almost 7 months since your baby went to be in the arms of the Lord… I’m thinking of you today… Much love, Tehila xoxo
God bless you Tehila and may He continue using you greatly. I was actually not searching for something like this, my search was ” bible verses about miscarriage”. Im having a hard time with my parents concerning the miscarriage i had on saturday 15th 2015 at 15weeks of my pregnancy, prior to still born(a boy) i had October 2013 at 36weeks. We have different believe with both my inlaws and my biological parents and my husband and i trust in God only but my parents say we must goto traditional doctors to be ”healed”. My mothers are helping with everything but there is tension because of this issue of miscarriage and traditional doctors since w refused to consult them in 2013 and now we lost a baby again. My prayer every day is that ” i will never denounce my God, my song is: I will serve no foreign gods and my decision is to seek and know what God says. We have our first child (a girl) outside our marriage and the two incidents in our marriage. I prayed and read my bible while in labour believing God will reverse the situation and all that time my baby was playing and that gave me hope even though the pains intensified , my verses were Ps33:20-22 and Ps18:1-6 and my heart singing different praise songs. Through all that my baby passed on and i delivered him. I just loved that little thing the nurse had in her hands and wished i could hold it. It was a sad experience but God gave me the strength to endure and it, and more scriptures came into my spirit lik Ps23, Is43, 1Cor10:13, the book of Job, the three hebrews, David in the den of lions etc. I thank God who gave me my mothers in the Lord , my work mates, family and friends who visited and prayed for me through that difficult time. I dont want to deny that i have these thoghts that if i could have gone to the hospital immedidiately i could be having my baby boy, again i say how do i know maybe the worst was going to happen. Above all i believe God will still give us our baby boy(s) and we should wait for him as God’s time is the best. Thanx for your blog as may be i was not going to share this with any one because people never give someone going through a hard time chance to share with them how God held them through the blazing fire and give glory to God over the situation. Sorry my long comment with grammatic errors.
Dearest Onah, I do thank you so much for sharing your heart with me. I’m truly grateful to God that I could be here, an anonymous sister in the Lord, and ‘listen’ to you. You have gone through such pain and grief, and I honestly don’t know why the Lord has allowed this in your life. I only know that He knows, and He cares, and that He is with you through it all. Underneath are his everlasting arms, holding you and loving you. You can’t blame yourself for what happened to your baby boy. God is so perfectly sovereign, over every tiny second, over every heartbeat… for some reason which you may never understand, He spared your little boy the hardships of this life, and decided to take Him straight to the glories of Heaven. I know you long for and yearn for your babies… I feel your pain… Keep looking to the Lord, Onah! I love how you mentioned several scriptures and Biblical examples. This shows me that you are in the Word – the holy, perfect, life-giving Word of the Living God! He will comfort, sustain, and lift you through His eternal words… you are doing the very best thing you can do. His answers for peace and faithfulness and joy are all in there… You live out his Word, and your family will see something so different in you. The Lord will give you wisdom in dealing lovingly with your family members. I trust in the only great God, and I know trust that He is with you in this storm. God bless you, sweet friend, and thank you again for sharing these intimate thoughts with me. With my love to you… Tehila xoox
I am going through a miscarriage, thank you for writing this. Do you have any wisdom for me, I am struggling with thoughts that this has happened due to sin I committed, I have prayed that God will reveal if it was due to sin and I can’t seem to hear His voice. Feeling very distressed.
My precious Joanna, thank you for reaching out to me… My heart breaks for your loss, and as if it isn’t hard enough losing your beloved baby, the guilt and confusion your are experiencing around it. How difficult and painful that is. One thing I know, and that is that whatever God does in our lives is for His glory, and ultimately our good. There are certain things that we will never know on this earth. We simply aren’t meant to, I suppose or God would certainly reveal it to us… For example, I went through a terrible tragedy a few years ago, where my mother and sister were instantly killed in a car accident (with my sister being 9 months pregnant at the time). I have come to terms with the fact that I will never understand here on worth why that had to happen. I just have to accept that the God of all the Universe is supremely sovereign, and that for reasons that only He knows, He allows tragedies into our lives. Somehow, eventually, God is glorified through them. And our faith and love for God grow as we learn to trust that He knows best. I love how Job in the Bible, after he lost everything – 10 children, all his wealth and belongings, (and later his friends, and his health), concluded so beautifully “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21). That should be our response, even in the midst of pain and hardship. Oh sweet Joanna, I don’t say these things lightly. I know you are in deep distress, but keep looking to the Lord. And trusting. You won’t know the ‘why’ behind this and other events in your life… The most important thing is that you know ‘who’… With my love, care and prayer for you, Tehila xoxo
Many thanks for your reply, I am so thankful I came across your post. I am already implementing your ABCs and finding them so helpful. Thank you for sharing with me your tragedy, I draw courage from knowing you got through that, God will bring me through this. I am learning that trusting in God is a world away from trusting in a life that makes sense and is free from struggle and pain. I am going to do a study on Job, I have found a good book on Amazon which I believe is a commentary. We praise God because He is worthy of praise. Thank you again for your reply, it was a soothing balm in this sea of tears.
Joanna, you are most welcome. I know that my words to you are very feeble and not able to reach into the depths of your heart, so I am thankful that God’s Word can. I think it is a WONDERFUL idea for you to do a study on Job (I may do one too, you’ve inspired me!). Your faith is praiseworthy, my sister. With my love… xoxo
This past friday I lost my baby at 16 weeks. I was devastated. It has been the hardest thing. But you are right we still have to glorify God. He has given me so much strength peace of mind and much more. Reading your blog helped me so much. I was going through the web wanting to read something uplifting and I truly did. Thank you
Dearest Priscilla, how are you doing, beloved one? I have had you on my heart much. I love your outlook and your strength of faith. God has clearly been upholding you through this most difficult of trials. I praise Him that He has you (and your baby, too) in the palm of His beautiful hand… May our Lord continue to minister to you daily, and lift your eyes to your Creator moment by moment. God bless you, sweet one… xoxo
I have read all the post and found much encouragement as I am currently still in the midst of a miscarriage. Found out at 7am this morning. But what if you can’t find the strength to see the “goodness” of God in this situation? What do you so then? I have had enough tragedy inu
22 years of serving Christ that I’m just having a hard time chalking this up to being good or right in any way…but I want to! I want to trust God and understand, I want to feel hope for the future, I want to have faith to believe something good could come out of this…not clear
On how to get from here to there even with all my knowledge of God and his word. Please say a prayer for me and any words of encouragement that may bring a glimmer of peace in my heart are welcomed.
Sweet Renee… I have been praying for you, remembering you often. How are you now? I was so touched by both your honesty and your incredibly mature outlook and heart in wanting God’s purposes to be accomplished through this most difficult trial. You are an inspiration and a beautiful sister!! God truly can and does work all things together for our good and His glory. Sometimes it’s hard to see it at the time, but I really believe as we stand back a month, a year, and a decade later, we will realise the beauty in our lives that He brought about it through it all. It’s such a hard way to learn, and such a tragic experience to go through, but our King can be trusted, as He is the most loving Father we could ever imagine, and does only what is best…
Hang in there beautiful one! These days seem dark, but your God is the light shining above those clouds. You will His light in due time. With my love and big hugs to you… Tehila xoxo
Today April 11,2015 I lose my baby..I woke up an notice something was wrong and it’s gone..I’m totally sad heartbroken and trying to recover but it’s hard..I no my baby in good hands now but I feel what I could have done differently for my baby to come back…I need prayer….I need help…I want God to Be in my life..forgive me for my sins in life and guide me in which way God wants me to be..I can’t stop crying…
Oh Matika! I am so sorry I did not get back to you sooner. How are you, Matika? I truly mourn with you for your precious, sweet baby. Your response to this terrible hardship is the absolute perfect response! You are not turning your back on God, but running, sprinting towards Him in your heartbreak. That is amazing! It is admirable!!! Matika, there is nothing you could have done to have made the situation turn out differently. God is sovereign over everything, and whatever happened that caused your little sweetie to bypass this Earth and go be with his/her Maker, was in God’s hands. For some reason, which you may never know or understand, God allowed it to happen, in the way it did, and the timing it did. It is soooooo difficult to accept and trust, but be comforted knowing that you are dearly loved and cherished by the Lord, and that He is indeed lovingly raising your baby until you are reunited… May He bless you richly and pour His mercy and compassion upon you!!! Much love to you, Matika… Tehila…xxx
Thank you for this. I have 2 beautiful boys but recently have experienced 2 miscarriages in the last 3 months. I desperately want to glorify God through this trial and sadness. God has put so many other women in my life that have walked through this as well. I am grateful for the encouragement as my heart is broken. What a precious gift from God are children! I know he sees and he will carry me through this. All glory to Christ my Savior!
Dearest Jill, How are you now? My heart is with you and I thank God for your beautiful faith and trust in His ways. xoxo
Thank you so much for your kindness and care and concern. Taking it day by day. It’s amazing the ability of the heart to heal when you cry out to Jesus. He has done something in my heart through this, maybe he’s just brought me closer to Him through the pain and tears. I think the toughest part is just wondering if he will ask me to endure this again. Ultimately I know that he is working for my good and if he did ask me to go through it again he won’t ask me to do it alone. He shines the brightest through the darkest days. I thank Him that he has allowed me to continue to have faith through this, that is all His doing and His faithfulness. I hope that you are well and pray that he has used your struggle with miscarriage for your good. 🙂 blessings!
What an amazzzzzing example you are to me, Jill, of incredible faith, courage, and eternal perspective! Thank you so much for taking the time to share that God-given input into my life… You are a gift!
I had a miscarriage last month and I am now pregnant again. I am 5 weeks and I had some light brown spotting and went int to the doctor hoping he would have some reassuring news. They preformed an ultrasound and found a sac but no baby. So the doctor told me maybe it’s to early come back in two weeks and have another ultrasound. So I am trying to hold my faith and trust in God. The words that you have shared have truly helped me keep faith in our loving father. I will continue to pray for strength and ease through this unknowing time.
Hi Jennifer. A similar thing happened to me too with my third child, and when I went back for a second scan later, all was perfectly well. How have things gone for you? With my love and care xoxo
thank you so much for posting this – i am in the midst of a miscarriage, and i am heartbroken. your words brought me comfort. blessings, lora
Precious Lora, I am so sorry that you are going through this trial, but also know that the Lord is holding you in the palm of His Mighty Hand, comforting your heart and your soul… Will be praying for you, dear friend. With the love of our Saviour and in His compassion xx
Miscarriages are just so hard. I’m very sorry for your loss. No matter how many children you have, miscarriage is always very painful. I had two in four months after my first child. Then when I became pregnant again, it was a threatened miscarriage. Thankfully she was fine and she is almost four years old. But it was such a dark time. The tiniest of little hands and feet leave large handprints and footprints on the heart. I’ve written a post about my experience of miscarriage: ‘Tears in a Bottle: Moving on From the Mountain of Miscarriage.’ http://latteslacedwithgrace.wordpress.com/2014/02/19/tears-in-a-bottle-moving-on-from-the-mountain-of-miscarriage/
I wish you well with your new pregnancy 🙂
Your words have touched me as I walk through this great loss this week!
Precious Ashley, how are you doing? I have been praying for you, and long to know how you are handling your indescribable pain and loss. You are in my heart… Thank you so much for stopping by and for dropping me a note. God bless you, beloved one… xoxo
Dear Tehila
2 days ago I went to a check up, saw the baby moving, heard the heartbeat, I was 13 weeks. Exactly 6 hours later my water broke with blood. I called for help whih arrived. The moment the help arrive the baby came out of me but still remained attached to me by placenta. I looked to hose helping me and all I could say was “My child… my child”
I went to hospital where I pushed the placenta out. I decided to look at the baby which had little hands, feet. My heart ripped out of my chest. Ive been having sleepless nights using allergex to drug myself to sleep, collosium fluid has begun leaking from my breasts, I am weak, angry and hurt. Its 1:30 am in S.Africa, insomnia has kicked in but I believe God wanted me up to read this. Your message gives me hope. Thank you! God bless you.
My darling friend, I cried many tears for you as I read through your comment on my blog. Being in my 17th week with our fifth baby at the moment, I felt for you with a heavy heart, and longed to reach through the screen and hug you with compassion and sympathy. I am truly sorry that you have had to endure this terrible trauma and tragedy, beloved one. I will continue praying for you over the coming days as you battle with the many questions and the paralysing grief. I am with you in spirit and ache with you. Thank you so much for sharing with me today. Be encouraged that our great God is with you, holding you, and working all things together for your good, and His glory. With my love to you precious and wonderful brave friend, Tehila xoxoxo
Loving God ? Gracious God ? My granddaughter just had a misscarry a week before she was to have c-section ! If God did not want her to have a baby he should not have allowed her to become pregnant ! How can a loving gracious God allow parents and family to go thru 8 months of Joy and Praising and Thanking God for their Blessing only to have it horrendously ripped from them ? Loving God ? Or the Evil God of the Old Testament who killed children ?
Thank you for your post.. It was the first blog that came up after I searched “does God care about miscarriage”? Of course, I know he cares.. It’s just so easy to forget how much in the midst of loss & grief. I’m so sorry for your loss – and thank you for taking the time to write this. I literally cried my eyes out reading the entire thing. I miscarried 2 days ago.. This has given me a way to focus my heart during this time. God bless you.
My sweet, sweet friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to write. My heart aches with you at the loss of your beautiful, precious baby. I will be praying for you, Hope, that the Lord will be your comfort and strength during these next days and weeks. He is holding you in the palm of His Almighty hand. You are not alone. Hugs and blessings to you. You have touched my heart today… xoxoxo
I was googling “why God allow miscarriages to happen” and I read what you wrote… Well I’m not as strong as you are, I thought I had a very strong in God but I don’t know what’s happening to me, too many questions in my mind…I have three healthy kids, and My husband and i thought We’re done having more… But on aug.15 I discovered I was pregnant… What I did is instead of being happy and thank god for it, I cried! Why? Because I thought I have other p,ans for my life….my kids were so happy to know that I’m pregnant and started jumping on the bed. The next day I was ok with it BUT I told everyone that I’m pregnant and that it was not planned, but it’s ok and ill keep the baby, as I don’t believe in abortion…I kept telling everyone that I had different plans for mylife and in not ready to have a forth baby and not ready to breast feed for a year….so guess what happened last week….ok oct.1st I started bleeding hard, I went to the ER they told me the baby has no heart beat.. I started praying because that was not my intention.. I wanted the baby although I told everyone that I’m not ready, I started praying and praying that God make a miracle and the baby stays and to be born healthy…BUT I lost it… I feel guilty, I feel that the baby knew that I cried when I found out that I was pregnant, I keep asking my self did he know that I love him so much and I wanted him although I was saying all these things? Now the question I keep asking is: why did god let this pregnancy happen as a surprise? And why did he take it always from me? I feel like God gave me a gift and I did not want it at first so he took it away from me, I am very heart broken, very very sad, I can’t stop thinking about the baby and I want him back. I really love him so much I hope he believes and forgives me.
Precious Christine, thank you so much for sharing your story with me, beautiful friend. I am humbled and so much appreciate that trust. I honestly don’t believe that God was “punishing” you for your attitudes surrounding this pregnancy. God is so much greater than that. I don’t know why He allowed your miscarriage, but I know that somehow He had a purpose behind it, and that for some reason, which you may never understand, that was what was best for the baby, for you, and for your family. If God would discipline us for every sinful attitude and for every sinful deed we commit, who could stand? Who would have any blessing in their life? It is only by His grace and mercy that we are not consumed! You have already been so blessed with three healthy and lovely children, and being thankful for that is a beautiful expression to God. I’m so thankful that God sent His Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty for our sin, so that we wouldn’t have to! There are sins which do have direct and visible consequences in this life – but having a hard time accepting a pregnancy, and deciding to keep the baby the Lord granted you, would only have brought blessing and peace, and not ‘punishment.’ Rest assured, sweet Christine, God is greater than our mistakes, hardships, and fears, and is sovereignly in control of all that happens. His ways are far higher than our ways, and we cannot fathom His great wisdom! Big hug from me, my sweet friend xxx
Dear Jennifer,
First, I want to tell you that your anger is a common feeling when people are hurt. I will pray for you and your husband – that’s just I can do for you.
Second, I want to tell you that God has not stolen your child. He has your baby in His arms, just now, and you can be able to be with him/her, by accepting Jesus as lord and savior – just let the Holy Spirit of God touch your heart and heal your pain. I know that it sounds impossible, but it takes time.
Third, don’t glorify God now if you can’t do this now. Grief your baby, but take care about depression and about other hurt feelings that don’t let you go ahead. Find a physician and take care of your body and mind as soon as possible.
Search the website Quiet Refuge. You will see you’re not alone in your pain.
I like to think that I’m blessed because my child will never feel any pain, will never know any sorrow, and, despite my feelings about it, God was the first face he saw when he opened his eyes. And I’m working to meet my baby.
(Sorry about my bad English.)
God bless you, Vanessa… xx
Thank you, thank you, thank you for such honest, helpful and beautiful writing, and I am so sorry for your loss, miscarriage is a horrific thing for anyone to endure, no matter what stage of a pregnancy they are at.
I suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks in May this year and had to have a D and C, then developed an infection.
Following my loss, I was lost, for 8 weeks I barely functioned, I struggled at work, I struggled at home and could barely face my wonderful husband and 4 year old son. I put on a brave face and pretended all was ok when I had company but when alone I cried for hours at a time. Until at a mums meetig at church, I opened up, and the support and love I received was overwhelming!
I just wish I had found your post sooner, I know I should have offered all my pain and suffering up to The Lord, I know He would have helped me and I would have been more able to cope, instead of turning away from Him.
I am now 12 weeks post miscarriage, and every day I feel a little stronger, though I still have my bad days where I want to cry, though these days are fewer. My husband and I are discussing trying again, though I am afraid.
People need to be more open about miscarriage and the effects it has on a woman, both emotionally and physically xx
Precious Samantha, sorry it’s taken me so long to respond to you… you did the best you could, sweet one, in a very difficult trial. May the Lord continue to uphold, restore, and strengthen you in every way. He can and will redeem the suffering you’ve endured, and has held you every step of the way. He is near to the brokenhearted, beloved. I’m here for you if you’d like to let me know how you’re doing at any time, and how I can pray for me. Contact me through the “contact” page if you need a friend xxx
I stopped reading your post about 1/4 of the way through. I almost stopped when you said you have 4 beautiful children. You may know the pain of miscarriage but to have 4 children and say that you know what other women feel and can minister to them, that is a crock. You know nothing of being barren. It is a shame that you even wrote this post.
And secondly, that God that you had people who brought you meals so that you could “ease back into life.” It really must be nice to have it so easy. Not only did I lose my child, I had to come right back to work and deal with it. No staying at home, no resting.
My husband couldn’t deal with the fact that I was an utter failure and now he doesn’t look at me, much less touch me. I’m glad that you found your miscarriage so useful to your blog and I’m glad you can glorify God for stealing your 5th child. I can not and will not glorify God for stealing my one and only child.
Dear Jennifer, first of all, thank you for taking the time to contact me. I have thought long and hard about how to respond to your honest and painful note. There is nothing I can say that could take away the anger, pain, and hurt that you feel. I am genuinely sorry if I have upset you in any way in this post. I assure you, this was not my intention in writing it. I could try to explain myself in different ways, but I think the best would be to just tell you that my heart aches to hear of your struggles, and I will be praying for you… With my love and care, Tehila xx
My heart absolutely goes out to you and I’m praying comfort, peace, and healing for you during this time. I’m one of the masses that’s walked this road a couple of times and know it can be exhausting both physically and mentally. One thing that really changed my outlook and gave me hope was reading the book “Heaven is for Real.” I truly think God placed that in my lap at exactly the right moment. Praying that He provides you the comfort you need, at exactly the right moment too. We know that when we ask, He answers! Lifting you in prayer my friend.
Thank you so much, Trinity! You are so encouraging and your words are a comfort! xx
Thank you for this helpful post. It is something really useful to give to mothers who have miscarried and I would have benefited from it after my miscarriages.
There was some discussion earlier about timing of announcing pregnancies. Here, in the UK, it is unusual to announce a pregnancy, even to close family, before 12 weeks. I found that, having miscarriages at 9 and 11 weeks, there were people that I wanted to know that the pregnancy had happened but hadn’t told before the miscarriage. In retrospect, it would have been good to have been able to tell family and close friends earlier even if that meant that they also shared the sorrow of the loss.
Thank you SO much, Sarah, for your invaluable input. I have never heard anyone say that they would have liked to tell people about their pregnancy, but hadn’t, and I absolutely LOVE that you shared that!!!!!! I’m so sorry about your miscarriages. May God continue to heal your heart. With my love to you, Tehila (P.S. Would love to have you visit the blog and share your words again – brilliant!)
Hi. Thank you for this post. I lost a baby at 12 weeks in August in a traumatic way that put me in the hospital and involved months of recovery. We had many God-sightings along the way, and, while we were emotionally at sea, we felt God’s presence. We chalked it up to hitting statistics, since we had already been extremely blessed with five healthy pregnancies and babies, and decided to try again. In February, I miscarried at six weeks. The experience was less physically trying but perhaps even more troubling emotionally. Now we are trying to figure out what God wants us to do. Is He closing–or slamming–the door on our family size, or does He want us to embrace His victory and try again? Does the right thing to do involve focusing solely on the family we have or mustering the courage to try again, risks and all? With the age of 40 knocking at the door, the decision becomes even more complicated. I know how very blessed I am to have the family that I have. I am happy to grieve this and be content with our family as it is, but I also don’t want to close the door on God if He is calling us to something else–another child, an adoption, or whatever. I am wondering whether any of the sisters above have had similar experiences and could provide Godly perspective. Thank you again. What a blessing to be able to share our burdens!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, and I can completely understand your dilemma. May the Lord grant you much wisdom as you seek Him. It’s not an easy place to be, but the Lord will guide you by His grace and love… With my love and prayers…
Tehilia, I was fortunate to have 5 children and never have to go through the healing process of having a miscarriage. My middle daughter had a hard time carrying her children and did have one. She is blessed with a 14 and a 3 year old girl. I pray that the Lord will bless you. You are a strong and amazing woman to see God’s glory when going through a difficult thing. Thanks for sharing this with SYC.
hugs,
Jann
Thank you so much, Jann! I’m so pleased that the Lord spared you, and granted you 5 beautiful children! I truly praise Him for that!!! It must have been difficult seeing your daughter going through a miscarriage. I would think that would be almost just as hard for a mom! 🙁
God bless you, and thank you for your encouragement…
Hi Tehila,
I’m sorry for your loss. I too lost babies in the past and I love your perspective on this. I know this will be an encouragement to those moms who are going through miscarriages. Thank you for sharing and linking up with me at Home Educator Mom.
Thank you for your encouragement, Betty! God bless you…
Dear Tehila,
Thank you for this. I am so amazed that you were able to speak so deeply and minister so beautifully so soon after your miscarriage. I was a wreck for months after mine… Thank you, for loving in such a deep way. May the Lord bless your desire for another child. In Him, e.
God bless you, Emily! What an honour to have you stop by here. Appreciate your support so much…
I am so sorry for your loss my sweet friend! It hurts so much, and yet God will sustain you and see you through.
My third pregnancy ended in m/c and we had tried five years for that child. I remember being down on my knees in the bathroom, sobbing and gritting my teeth and telling my Lord that I would praise Him anyway, through gritted teeth and tears because He told me that I could praise Him in everything. So we did.
We don’t praise Him because it feels good, we praise Him because HE is good. I planted a rose bush outside in our garden in memory of our precious little one. It was a Betty Boop rose. I thought she’d have loved it. 😉
I loved what you said about our hope not being in our ability to get over it or move on, but our hope is in our Lord. Praying for you all today, my friend! Thank you for using your pain to comfort someone else today.
Amen! I’m so sorry that you went this trial, but the Lord truly does allow this to happen for ways that we are not always able to understand. Someone just told me today that it’s a blessing in a way that our babies were spared this sin-cursed earth, and were promoted straight to heaven. I really liked that new perspective… God bless you for stopping by to encourage me as you did! xxx
Bless you as you minister to others through such a painful experience. Such a kind and generous heart you have.
Thank you, Laura [blush]… God bless you…
Tehila, I pray that the Lord will continue to strengthen you and fill you with more and more of his wisdom, love, and hope every day. Thank you for giving hope to others in this same situation. You’re such a gem!
So are YOU!!! Thanks so much, Jelli. Love seeing you here! xx
I don’t see that I commented. I think I started to 🙂 This was such a compassionate and encouraging post for those who have miscarried. In your sorrow you have shared your experience so that others can be uplifted. One of the things I was always thankful for in having a miscarriage was the same thing that you shared: that you can be understanding of those who miscarry because you have felt and experienced the same thing (not exact words).
Thank you so much my sweet friend for linking up over at WholeHearted Home this week and sharing this post.
Thank you for your sweet words, Judith! It truly is a privilege to be able to understand and sympathise with others who have gone through a miscarriage. God has ALREADY opened up several opportunities for me to do so, even since this post. Glory to His Name!
God bless you, beautiful one! xxx
I am so sorry for your loss. May you find comfort, peace and understanding in the days to come. Bless you for sharing in your season of pain and difficulty. Visiting from the folks at IP. And bringing love.
Thank you, dear Elizabeth… Blessings to you..
What a heart touching, gut wrenching post! So thankful you are reaching out to others who have experienced this. Thanks so much for linking up with me at NanaHood.com I appreciate it. Do come back next Thursday.
In Him,
Teresa
Thanks, Teresa. I pray this post will touch many in the midst of their pain. Blessings to you, dear one!
I am coming by from Desire to Inspire. I appreciate this post so much. I have yet to have the courage to write about my miscarriage on my blog. I have a different story in that I did not have the positive testimony of how I handled things afterwards. I was ok at first, but over time, my thoughts about what I experienced became a deep challenge to what I believed about God. It has been a few short years since my loss and I now have a beautiful baby girl, in addition to my son that I had 18 years prior. God has shown Himself faithful and I have learned that the “facts” that I have experienced in this life cannot be allowed to trump the “truth” of who God is to me. It is at times easier said than done, but nonetheless, I know that He is still God and He still reigns. He is day by day translating the truth I know in my head to the reality that is in my heart. Thank you again for sharing your story.
Oh, Dedra. You are so sweet and honest. I feel that there were ways I could have handled things better too. None of us are perfect and sadly our responses to God’s trials are imperfect too many a time. I’m praising God with you that He has BLESSED you with your beautiful little girl. How wonderful that His love and gifts are not conditional upon our responses! Isn’t He SOOOo good!!! With my love to you..
I have an amazing 7 year old son. He is my miracle. I have had 4 miscarriages since having him. I was angry, asking why me, for a very long time. I know when it is our time for another child, God will make it so. The pain comes and goes but I know God will see me through it all. God bless all you ladies, and know that He is always with you. My angel babies are by His side.
Wow, Stephanie. You have been through so much. You faith is incredible and inspiring! God bless you, until you see your little sweet babies again (and beyond!) xx
I’m so sorry, Tehila, for your painful loss. I’ve never miscarried, but I can imagine it would’ve been so hard to get over. I love your principles. I think they are spot on and offer encouragement and hope to those who can identify. I especially like, “Make the effort to go out of “island” mode and allow yourself to be rescued.” I think that is true for anyone experiencing discouragement or depression, which is natural after such a significant loss. You are very wise and loving, Tehila, and my prayer is that God would bless you with encouragement in this season, as you seek to compassionately help others.
Thank you my lovely Beth-friend! You are a blessed woman not to have miscarried. I love the wise perspective from which you write. You heart is so clearly to minister and love. You have encouraged me, as always! xxx
This is what I’ve been needing. I too just had a miscarriage this past weekend. It has been harder than I ever imagined. Like you, this was my first after being blessed with four beautiful children.
My heart goes out to you! Thank you very much for sharing this beautiful letter.
Oh Beth! I am so sorry to hear this, and yes, it does sound as though you and I are in the same position. I can’t tell you how much more I appreciate our other children since the miscarriage, but I know how hard and painful it is to lose a little precious one that you’ve never met. May God comfort and touch your heart, dear one!
Oh, sweet friend, I am so sorry for your loss. Our God is so good to give you such beautiful words through your grief. I’m praying for God’s comfort to be with you — and the anticipation of meeting your child in Heaven to strengthen you.
Thank you, beloved Pamela! How kind and caring of you to leave me such a beautiful and compassionate note. God bless you, as you have blessed me! xxx
I know the personal pain of loss as I suffered a tubal pregnancy about 13 years ago. It is still afresh wound and it was very difficult to get through. I remember telling my mom that if she said “everything happens for a reason” one per time, I would never talk to her again. I am now blessed with 5 kids but am amazed at how often I am reminded of that day. Prayers to everyone who deals with a miscarriage or loss. Now following you!
Thank you for sharing, Heather. I’m praising God with you that He blessed you with 5 beautiful children since your tubal pregnancy. It is a painful loss, and I am so thankful that you have shared it so openly here. May God continue to bless and comfort your heart… With love, Tehila
Thank you for sharing your story of miscarriage. I have 2 beautiful children. But my third pregnancy ended in the 3rd month. God was my rock through it. It brought my closer to the Lord and he showed me the trust I had in him, that I didn’t know I had. Now I don’t worry about things like I used to, and I pray and trust in the Lord so much more. I believe our miscarried children are waiting for us in heaven and I thank the Lord for that. I hope that I can provide help for someone going through this someday.
Thank you for sharing your story here with me and the other readers, Bethany. May God continue to use you in countless ways, as I know He is already doing! Blessings xx
Thanks for sharing. I found you via club 31 woman. I too expierence a miscarriage after 5 “perfect” pregnancy & births. I thought I was safe. Fortunatly I too have a strong faith & it is absolutly what pulled me thru. I did all these things not even know that they were the exact things that were helping me. I am blessed with a strong support “group” (my fam, mostly) & we have weathered this unexpected life storm well. Now however, I find myself with a whole new “challenge” to weather. I’ve just found out (today, actually, tho i had suspected for about 2 weeks now) that I am pregnant again. It’s been 5 months since the miscarriage. We are reservedly excited. In truth I’m a little scared. I’ve never been scared to be pergnant. I truly belive that children are a gift from God & have always been so excited to be trusted with the great responsibility of yet another wonderful soul to care for. Now I’m more nervous than I ever was even with my first. I have been praying a lot today so far & I’m sure I will do much more. It’s good to know that there are other faith filled women out there. Thanks again for sharing, even with a stranger.
Oh, Leslie!!! How exciting! I can totally understand why you would be apprehensive this time around. Thankfully there are way more babies born healthy and strong, than miscarriages, so chances are definitely high that you will carry this beautiful treasure to full term!!! I will pray for you! xoxo
Thank you for your ‘heart’ sharing. You were so braved to share your feeling and trust in God. I had 2 miscarriages several years ago, I wished I had this kind of comfort and encouragement from someone like you. God healed me in His own majestic ways. God will bless you in great ways!
I now have a beautiful daughter who is truly a gift from God!
Thank you for your welcomed encouragement, Cindy! What a sweetheart you are! I’m praising God with you for your beloved little girl. I truly am experiencing so much gratitude for my children now that I’ve been through a miscarriage. It really is one of the “bright sides” of it all. God bless you my sister!
Your openness & honesty IS healing for so many reading! Miscarriages, always so sad. Thankful for your words that reach out & extend a hand of identification, shared emotion, and understanding. ~ Jen
Awww, Jen! Thank you for your uplifting and kind words! God bless you and the beautiful ministry that you have through your blog! xx
I am so sorry for loss. Less than two weeks ago I also went through a miscarriage, and man is it hard. My heart breaks for you. Psalm 38:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
P.S. found your link through the blog hop, excited to keep reading!
Oh Brittaney, I am so sorry for your loss too, my dear sister… Thank you for sharing that beautiful verse. I will be holding it close in my heart over the coming days! You are soooo welcome ’round here my new friend! xx
God redeems:
The day before Good Friday (Christ’s Crucifixion) last year, 2012, I lost our first baby at 14 weeks. The aching loss was intense, even my husband cried at times at work for a month. But the GRACE was incredible. God was present and our Comfort. I came to realize it a privilege to willingly consecrate to Him the firstfruit of my womb, especially on the day before the day we celebrate Christ’s sacrifice of Himself for us.
The good news is, God loves to redeem a situation, or a time as I saw. Exactly a year later, now just a month ago, without planning it at all, our daughter was born 3 weeks early on the day after Resurrection Monday, I went in labour on Resurrection day. And I now see how God had planned this blessing meticulously: “the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, blessed be the Name of the Lord” or in this case: the Lord takes away and the Lord gives. Like Job said “….yet I will praise Him”
The Lord comforts you in your tears, He holds you, His heart is for you and “the Lord will perfect that which concerns you.” (Psalms)
Dear Ena! What an inspiring story you have shared here today. Thank you so much and I absolutely adore the way you see our Lord in the intricate workings of your life, even in the timing of what He brings – which is really obvious in this case is a beautiful message from Him! Blessings and enjoy your beloved gift from your King! xx
Oh sweetie, I’m so very sorry for your loss. We had a celebration and thanksgiving ceremony at the loss of our precious little one. It was helpful for us to rejoice in the time and opportunity the Lord gave us to love our little Shalom (named for the Peace given to us as only God can give). A wonderful list you share. Thank you for linking this up and I’m sure it will be an encouragement to other women in the midst of their grieving over the loss of their sweet treasures.
Thank you so much Kate, for your sincere love and care. I have prayed long and hard that these words would indeed reach those that need encouragement and healing. Miscarriage is never an easy thing to go through, but I have found that it helps so much to have the support and encouragement of others! God bless you and thanks again for stopping by…
I am so sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is such a painful path to be on, but one that is filled with hope and love as well. I had a miscarriage a year ago, it was very early in the pregnancy (4 weeks) but I was devastated nonetheless. But in this past year the Lord has taught me so much that now, even though I am still grieving, I can praise God for it because of the love and grace He has shown me through this. My only piece of advice I can give is to cling to God through all of this. Shortly after I miscarried I looked up several passages in Scripture pertaining to grief and death. The one that stuck out the most to me was Psalms 116:15 and it has since become my miscarried son’s verse. One that I highlighted in my Bible and refer to whenever I need it. If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to email me or pop on over to my blog if you want to read what I’ve written about my experience.
God bless.
Oh Ashley! Your encouraging words and Scripture were just what I needed. Thank you so much for taking the time to write and minister… God bless you today and every day!!!
I’ve had three miscarriages with no children here with me. I feel your loss. You never forget the babies you never met face to face and they are always a part of your life. Until last night my husband and I had decided (like it was ours to decide) that we wouldn’t have children. I feel the tugs on my heart strings and finally can open up to trying again. I pray that all us women who have lost a child feel God’s love for us and our babies as we move forward with our lives.
Dearest, sweet Emily. My heart is with you. As I mentioned above, God knows how much we can handle, and He will never give you beyond that. He has been gracious to you in the midst of your difficult trials. If it’s any consolation, I have a friend who had three miscarriages too after she was married, but went on to have 5 beautiful, healthy children. May the Lord grant you the desire of your heart my precious sister… Sending you so much love, and hugs too xoxox
I’m in awe of your strength and compassion for others at a time that surely was one of your worst ever. I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain you went through, but so thankful you found a way to make something positive of it.
Thanks so much Lisa! God is the strength of my heart!!! Really appreciate you stopping by and would love to see you ’round here again. With much blessing to you..
I am so sorry for your loss and I pray that God would use this in amazing ways to show how we truly can find gratitude in any situation, no matter how devastating. This is a great way to point us in the direction of giving thanks for all things.
Thank you, dear Jen! Truly appreciate your beautiful words… God bless you!
I am so sorry about your loss, Tehila. My heart goes out to you and all your family. I also appreciate this excellent counsel for anyone who’s gone through a miscarriage – always more than you would think. Your loving ministry is timely and touching. The Lord bless you and heal you. With love, Lisa
My dear Lisa-friend! Thank you so much. You have been a tremendous support and encouragement to me during this trial. I am so thankful for you! With my love to you… xxx
Thank you for sharing your sweet sorrow and response to a miscarriage at “Tell Me a True Story.”
My daughter lost her first baby to a miscarriage, and the only comfort is knowing that God knows what is best and will bring you through this victorious.
Amen to your kind words, Hazel! Thank you for being such a faithful blogging friend! 🙂
Whoa… This is what I said out loud the moment I arrived on this page and saw the title of this post. Whoa. What a blessing you are to so many and to share your story will only serve to encourage even more. Thank you, Tehila.
Thank you so much, Fawn!!! You put a smile on my face, and I am truly appreciative of your kind comment. God bless you, dear sister!
Found you through the HWC link up. First so sorry for your unimaginable loss. Thank you for writing about this and being so transparent, such a blessing to others! Great work! Beautiful post!
Thank you, Lu! God bless you too, and your gift of compassion is so evident… God bless you…xx
Dearest Tehila,
God is indeed gracious that you are able to share so lovingly with your Sisters in-Christ who have felt similar pain in the loss of an expected child. Bless you for that. I can fully understand what you must be going through so thank you once again for sharing your heart.
I lost my first baby at nine weeks. After some time I was aware that all was not as it should be as baby was not developing and I worried that there was something very wrong. My GP listened for a heart beat but was unable to find one and arranged for ,me to visit a specialist. At twenty weeks I was admitted to hospital and baby was removed. I continued to bleed for six weeks so had another stay in hospital because my first operation had not been successful. Everything was done over again, but this time I was told that the proceedure was, medically speaking, an abortion. I carried the shame of that classification for years but now have Father’s Assurance that baby is with Him and that one day we will be reunited. .For many months I experienced such a feeling of emptiness and grief but God has so lovingly provided two beautiful daughters and ( through adoption )a much -loved son and ten beautiful Grandchildren.
Blessings and much love always
Jean.xo
Jean, I was devastated to hear of this traumatic experience that you have been through. Thank you so much for so openly sharing it. I’ve been amazed to hear of so many stories of miscarriage since I came out into the light with mine. From what I gather, it is quite a taboo subject, and even a shameful one, which I honestly believe it shouldn’t be. Miscarriage is not something pleasant to talk about, but it is necessary to share and include people into, especially while it is happening.
There was nothing about your ordeal that was an “abortion.” I am so sad that you had to endure that unnecessary burden and shame for so long, my friend! I, too, have had doctors say careless words that brought so much fear and shame. However, the Lord uses everything in transforming his children into His image, and even those false words that you endured, I am sure God used to bring you closer to Him in the long run.
Sending you much, much love and care, dear friend!!
God bless you today and forever!
Tehila
My heart goes out to you. Having a miscarriage is a very difficult event that almost no one talks about. I miscarried my second child last March and my heart continues to grief deeply. Not a day goes by that I do not think of my precious baby, but I know that one day I will hold my baby again. For now, Jesus is holding my child and there is no one better than HE. May God bless you, keep you, and heal your heart.
Oh my dear Marsha… thank YOU for sharing how you feel. And I absolutely looooove that you mentioned that almost no one talks about miscarriage. I found, too, that it is quite a taboo subject in society. It is always difficult for me to understand why women often choose to wait till they are 12 or 13 weeks pregnant before sharing their news with others. I suspect it is “in case” they miscarry, they wouldn’t have to deal publicly with the pain/shame. I find that very sad, because it is in the very time of miscarriage, should it occur, that the love, care, encouragement and consolation of others is so crucial, helpful, and comforting… So thank you for bringing that up.. God bless you beautiful one. You are beloved of the Lord, and He holds you, and your baby, in the palm of His hand… xxxxx
Tehila, thank-you for sharing your story. It has blessed my heart and made me realise yet again how great our God is and how precious we are to Him. I recently suffered a miscarriage too. Not a quiet one at home like a previous miscarriage but very public and traumatic but God in his mercy still showed me his love and protection . Bless you
Dear, sweet, Karen… Thank you for taking the time to share your recent ordeal with me. My heart aches for you, and feels your pain, which you are so clearly turning over to God, and glorifying Him mightily through your beautiful attitude and surrender. You are the one who has blessed ME today beautiful sister! God be with you as you go through the recovery and healing process. With my love and care…
Praise God for giving you such strength and grace at this time , that you can even use it to help others!
Lots of love to all of you.
Thank you my Tani-friend! Thank you for going through so much with me… I love you! xxx
I’m sorry for your loss, Tehila. My sister-in-law also had a miscrarriage in the past, so I can just imagine the anguish you must have felt during the whole ordeal. It’s wonderful to know that you’ve got yourself surrounded with the right kind of people; and that you view God as your number one pillar of support. Stay strong. 🙂
Visiting you from the Happy Wives Club link up.
God bless you, Bella! Thank you for your compassionate care. God is indeed our rock, and an ever-present help in times of trouble! I love Him even more with every trial that comes my way. You are a huge encouragement… thank you!!!
I am so very sorry for your loss, Tehila – my heart is with you. And thank you so much for offering this hope and encouragement to others suffering through the same grief. That you can give so generously in the midst of your own suffering is a testament to God’s power and love.
Thank you beloved Michelle. To God be all glory! I love your work for His Kingdom!
I’m so sorry for your loss, Tehila. Thank God that you do know Him and that He has a perfect plan for your life and the life of your sweet little one who is now with Him!
Thank you, dear Sylvia. Amen to your kind words!
Thanks for this resource. I know many of my good friends who have gone through this difficult time, and now I’ll have this resource for the next time someone close to me struggles with this pain.
Thanks, Loren! God bless you dear brother…
Oh sweet Tehila my heart hurts for for your loss. I am so sorry yet I am even more amazed by your steadfast faith in God. For sure He has a plan and sometimes – especially during loss – that’s just not what we want to hear or believe.
Lifting you and your sweet family up in prayer. Thank you for sharing this – I am sure there are so many women out there that have dealt with this loss that will be blessed by this.
xoxo, Claire
Thank you, my dear Claire-friend, for your encouragement and kindness! The deepest prayer of my heart right now is for this post to indeed reach those hurting, and lift their eyes to Him who is their strength and hope. You are such a joy in my life!
What happens when a woman has perhaps a miscarriage and she doesn’t know?I had a health and heart issue when I was 18 . The baby if it was would have been born out of wedlock-this was before my decision for total immersion baptism.that’s the only thing I can think was the cause of not knowing.I am 33 and still single and poor because of this experience. I am trying to honor God in thought and trying to remain single.one problem, I am also an only child.
Hi my dear sister in Christ Tehila. I may start off by extending my sincere regret for your loss. I’m presently going through miscarriage. As I googled “what did God said about miscarriage” and then, I came across you. At my first prenatal visit at 8weeks my baby was measuring 6weeks with a very normal heartbeat at 135 bpm.
So the Dr thinks we were off on my days due to late ovulation. At 11 and 1/2 weeks which was last Tuesday, I notice bleeding and I called my OBGYN office but the nurse said it was normal for most early pregnancy. She said I should watch out for bright red bleeding with cots. The next day I told my supervisor at the work place and she immediately took me off the schedule to see how condition wont improve. My supervisor even encouraged me to go to the hospital for more follow up. Last Saturday the bleeding was getting more alarming so I again went into the walk-in clinic and there I received the more saddest news of my life that my baby heartbeat has stopped but was told to follow up with another ultrasound this Saturday. Unfortunately, I ended up in the ER Wednesday of the same week where ultrasound revealed potential miscarriage. I was in tremendous pain and passing lot of cots one after another. I have cried and can not cry anymore but I said to myself “God knows why” And it is well with my soul. As I’m sending or expressing my grief my hope is in the lord ever then before. Because my husband and I have given off on trying as I turn 40 already. 15 years of trying. Our God is beyond all impossibilities. I’m weak in flesh but I need more strength from the Lord in this test of time.
My darling friend… how are you doing now, months after you lost your sweet baby… I know there can still be a twinge of sadness and heartache – that may never fully go away? My heart is with you, my lovely one… xoxo