Categories: Grief

My Story and Tools To Help You Overcome Grief – Part 1

Have you ever lost someone in your life? A grandparent, an aunt or uncle, maybe even a friend?

I recently mentioned in a post titled, “Living Fearlessly In A Fearful World” that I would share my story of loss with you. I intended to do so within a couple of weeks, but every time I go near this chapter of my life, it hurts. The wound, even years later, bleeds when pressed. The memories when even gently prodded, cause pain.

With God’s healing, a deeper Bible understanding, and time, the sting and heartache have greatly subsided. But it still takes a great choice of my will to open up my heart in this area. I want to do it for you. Because my greatest hope right now, is that God would use my story in your life – to bring freedom, joy, and renewed faith in your Creator after your loss, and to help you in dealing with grief.

The Day My Life Changed

It happened on Wednesday, March, 8th, 2000. Three days prior, my husband and I bid my mother farewell at the airport in Israel, where we lived. She was travelling to be with my sister in Northern Ireland, who was in advanced pregnancy, and my mom would be there until the baby was born and beyond. To serve. To hold. To touch.

72 short hours passed, and news came of a fatal car accident in which both my mother, my sister, and the unborn baby boy were instantly killed.

Shock.

But I can testify, dear one, of God’s faithfulness in preparing me for that life-changing event in my life. In ways big and small. Through fascinating occurrences and unexplainable ‘coincidences’. God prepared me.

God Paved The Way

Rewind six months. My mother announces to me that she believes that God is leading her to give up her rental home; to dispose of all her earthly belongings. She shares that God has brought some verses to her attention in His Word, that He will give her a far better home when she returns from Ireland.

For six months she is giving away and selling all her earthly possessions. She is notifying landlord and employer of termination of rent and work. She even closes her bank account…

Did she know that she would be translated into Glory within a few months? No. She didn’t. But God was preparing her. And He was preparing us. No one would have imagined where the journey she began would lead. However, no one can mistake that God’s word to her was fulfilled in all perfection and truth. A better home, of greater and eternal value, she did receive! And dwells in still.

The joy of holding her daughter and grandchild was to be in a place where no greater joy could be known. The beauty of the rolling, green hills of Ireland was to appear as filth compared to the indescribable beauty of her new surroundings. And the sinful body in which she dwelled for 54 years, was to be replaced with one that would never again know pain, hurt, or discomfort.

The Stages of Grief Begin

But… here I was. Back on earth. With the stark reality that I would not see my mother and sister (25) again for the rest of my life on this planet. Those first days, weeks, and months were crazy. And it would take a book to record all the details. A lot of good came out of the experience.

But I confess, that in those first years, even though I still walked with God and never turned my back on Him, I lost my joy, and my trust in Him. I took my life into my own hands. As far as I was concerned, the last time I left things up to God, He fell asleep on the job, and look what happened! It wasn’t till years later, I’m talking nine, loooong years later, that I began to understand some truths that the Lord used to return unto me, the joy of my salvation.

Tools To Help You Overcome Grief

I wish I had the space to write more. To share my whole story. A short blog post simply cannot suffice to encapsulate the magnitude of it all. But the part that will be most beneficial to you is yet to come, and I truly am excited to share with you the tools that took me almost a decade to learn. These have the potential for progressing you miles and miles in your grief process and can be easily implemented too. It is my desire, and I believe, God’s will, for you to be free, once and for all, of the pain and guilt that you have carried since you lost your loved one.

To God be the Glory. Forever and ever. Amen!

Please head to Part 2 in this series on Grief, titled, How To Recognize God In All Circumstances.

Have you lost anyone dear to you in your life? How are you dealing with the loss, and where have you seen God’s Hand of faithfulness in your grief?

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womenabiding

Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.

View Comments

  • Oh, Tehila, what deep hurt that tragedy must have caused you. Thank you so much for being willing to dredge up those moments and along with them, the pain, in order to share your journey of faith and trust in the Lord with us. These are the stories that give hope. Thank you for sharing them at #MomentsofHope! I am just now getting caught up on the last couple of week's worth of reading, but look so forward to reading and sharing this story.
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

  • Amen, and amen! Thank you so much for sharing last week at Tips & Tricks.... I so look forward to everything you share with us. "The joy of holding her daughter and grandchild was to be in a place where no greater joy could be known. The beauty of the rolling, green hills of Ireland was to appear as filth compared to the indescribable beauty of her new surroundings. And the sinful body in which she dwelled for 54 years, was to be replaced with one that would never again know pain, hurt, or discomfort."...... YES!

    • Thanks for your encouragement, Heather! It's always a blessing to dwell on things as they really are, even though we may not be able to see them while in this earthly body... God bless you today and always :-)

  • I am grateful that the Lord has given you the strength to write so eloquently about your loss. He is using you, have no doubt of that. Share your story, and share the Author of your story with anyone and everyone who will crack the doors of their heart to you. Praying the Lord blesses you and your writing ministry in a powerful and tangible way.

    • Wow! Sarah! You have blessed my socks off with your comment, sister! So much so that you've opened a little thought in my mind to write a book about all the Lord has done in my life through my grief... Thank you for your encouragement!!! It has meant so much to me!

      • I do think you should very much consider putting the full story down on paper. Use the talents and skills God has given you to tell what He has done for you in the midst of such a trial. I have been hearing a lot about the concept of blogging a book. That might be a really interesting way to start. Lay out the content by "subjects/chapters/smaller stories" and then write a blog series on it. If that is well received, you can fill out the story and put it into an e-book or work towards getting published. Best of luck, and keep in touch!

  • Beautiful writing. I found you on Literacy Musing Mondays.

    I know God helped me when my uncle died of cancer 10 years ago. To read Romans 8:28 and be assured that God would bring some good out of what had happened. To read Romans 12:2 and see that God's will is perfect - even when it really didn't seem like it.

    I can't imagine how it must have been for you to lose so much so suddenly, but I'm glad you've got God beside you now, and praying He'll carry on loving you through it.

    • I'm sorry to hear about your uncle, Sarah. And yes! God always brings good out of sadness, as He does with everything for those who love Him and walk according to His purposes.

      Thank you for stopping by today! :-)

  • Excruciating grief. God is faithful, and the way you have dealt with this crisis reminds me of Amy Carmichael's words: "In acceptance lieth peace."

  • Back on June 23, 1995, I was awoken to the news my sister-in-law, her boyfriend, their 9 year old son, a daughter in-in-law 26, her 2 children 7 and 5, were killed in a fire. At first I thought my husband, Charlene's brother, was also killed due to the fact that he was at her house remodeling it for the week, but he spent the night at his mom's house down the road. That day was Charlene's 46th birthday. I believe prayer is the only thing that got not only me through those horribly dark days and nights but for all their extended family and friends. It was back to back funerals, after which my mother-in-law had a heart attack, I'm sure from the stress of it all. Thankfully she is still with us. Phil. 4:13 helped then and still does today. I am sorry for your loss but grateful for salvation!

    • Oh, Amy! Thank you for sharing your difficult story. May God continue to heal your hearts... xx

  • Hi Tehila,

    I want to thank you for sharing your heart, your story, and personal journey with our dear Lord, who walks by our side through excruciating pain. Blessings my friend.

    • Thank you, sweet Anita! That is precious of you to say... Blessings to you too! xx

  • Psst! We at thet2women just loved this post and your blog and plan to feature it THIS Saturday over at One Sharendipity Place!! Thanks so much for linking up with us this past week!! We’re very glad you did!!
    sue@ thet2women.com

  • Oh dear, what a tragic event! I can not even imagine what it would be like to go through something like this. I was so touched by the way the Lord prepared you mother as well as all of you. I know that the pain is still there, but the comfort that the Lord offers is like being wrapped in a blanket of love. What a wonderful reunion you will all in heaven some day! Thanks for sharing this with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

    • Amen, Jann! Heaven took on a whole new meaning as now I have my loved ones there to look forward to being reunited with, besides My Lord and Biblical heroes! :-) God is good, gracious, and worthy to be praised! Blessings to you... xx

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