There are few gifts as sweet as little girls. In her frilly frock with her first locks tied up in a pretty bow, boasting a toothless smile, a baby girl can cause even the hardest of hearts to melt…
And just like all the wonders that God created, our little girls grow, and mature, and develop. Unfortunately in our fallen world, there are issues that seem to grow with them and make a much more prominent appearance during their teen years; temptations, obsession with their outer appearance, the need to feel loved and accepted, and the need to sleep, to name but a few.
In the midst of this concoction of emotion and struggle, as parents, we need to be strong faithful anchors, a voice of encouragement in despair, a source of unconditional love, and givers of much wisdom and guidance. It is during this time of their lives where all of our investment into our daughters pays off, and where we may see sweet fruit of years of hard labour.
Last night, my husband and I took our daughter, Aviel, out on a surprise outing. It was such a blessing to each of us, that I wanted to share the idea with you as a meaningful activity to do with your teen daughter. We had on our hearts to spoil her as a small token of our appreciation to her for all the many ways in which our soon-to-be 15 year old serves our family. But we also used the opportunity to focus on a quality that we pray she would thrive in: Purity.
The Meaningful Choice of A Purity Ring
During the first part of our evening we went shopping for a Purity Ring. This is any ring that our daughter, Aviel, could wear as a reminder to live a pure life before a holy God. What we didn’t anticipate was how significant it was that she got to choose her own ring. Firstly, it wasn’t the one I would have chosen for her, and she will be much more keen to wear a ring that she chose for herself. Secondly, after we bought it, she shared with me why she wanted this ring, in particular.
She said it reminds her that Jesus is the centre of and the beauty in her heart, and that just as the zirconia shines, He is what she wants people to see shining out of her. Wow! So precious….
The Meaningful Significance of Purity
We kept her ring in the box it came in, and moved to the second part of our plan. We went out for a dessert at a restaurant that we knew our daughter would love.
As we walked in and after she ooo’d and aaa’d, she spotted a piano in the corner of the restaurant and asked our waitress for permission to play it. Her playing filled the place with so much peace. It was beautiful. This was a blessing we could not have foreseen.
We ordered our treats, and then read some notes we had made (mostly compiled from the internet) on purity. I, for one, learned so much, and Aviel was listening intently.
I am offering a free PDF of our notes which you may choose to use, in order to save you the hassle of doing the work yourself, but as a short summary we shared that:
- Purity is a heart choice that affects all of life, not just abstinence. Purity needs to stem from a heart that desires to honor and obey God in every area of life.
- Purity is not a one-time choice, it is also a daily decision.
- Purity is ultimately her decision. We, as parents have given our daughter a piece of jewelry; but she has to choose to be pure.
- Purity has to start in the small areas. The girl who wears the ring should work hard at keeping her mind and heart pure.
- The way she will treat her purity is a direct display of her personal relationship with God and her respect of Him.
We also shared some relevant verses with Aviel which we encouraged her to memorize and hide in her heart for when she faces temptation of any kind (also in the PDF provided).
The Meaningful Gesture of Making it Official
We thought that our daughter could handle making her commitment a little more formal and intentional, so we had printed this Vow of Purity certificate on to some thicker paper, and presented it to her:
As we handed her the purity ring, she read the certificate carefully, signed it, and handed it to each of us to sign as witnesses. I can’t begin to tell you how powerful this was. It was almost as though it sealed her desire to be pure, and set it in motion.
Of course, time will tell. Neither the certificate, nor the ring guarantees that she will remain pure in body, mind, and heart. But it is definitely a step in the right direction, and a document that she can look back on, to remind her of the commitment she made, and to keep heading on the narrow path.
The Meaningful Blessing of Special Treats
The last part of the evening was a special treat that we had planned as the cherry on top of our time with Aviel. She has always longed to go to a ballet and since there was a single showing by the Royal New Zealand Ballet of Giselle, we bought some tickets and surprised her. She was beaming! I’m talking radiant light shining out of her big, brown eyes! It was all she had ever imagined it would be…
You know, my friend, sometimes we can be so focused on training our girls, on disciplining our girls, and correcting our girls, that far too long of a period can pass without us treating our girls! Making memories with each one truly is a meaningful blessing, and will only bear good fruit in our relationships.
The Meaningful Response
On our way home, our daughter could not stop thanking us, acknowledging the sacrifice we made financially and time-wise in planning the evening and spoiling her. She also told us that she can’t imagine there being better parents than us on the whole earth, and that she feels so blessed and privileged to have us as her mother and father.
I don’t say this to boast in our parenting (because she obviously temporarily forgot the myriad of mistakes we make with her!), but I wanted to share this to emphasize that the fruit of this meaningful activity that expressed our love, seriousness about her faith and purity, and our desire to bless her, resulted in a reciprocal heart of grace and kindness.
Please don’t misread these words and think that our evening was perfect, and that yours wouldn’t match up! Part way through the evening we received a text inviting Aviel to a teen camp that both my husband and I were against her attending. And as we discussed it, there were tears and I feared our evening would be ruined. But as God always does, He takes our feeble efforts and redeems them, turning them into eternal gold!
So, no matter where you are in your relationship with your teen girl, I encourage you to plan a special evening to share about purity, or something meaningful that can assist your daughter to grow in her faith, sprinkle it with some treats and affection, and ask God to graciously accomplish His holy purposes through it.
I’d love to hear how it went!!
What would your daughter enjoy doing that you can use as a springboard to spending a meaningful evening with her? What Godly quality would you emphasize that would set her up for living for the Lord to a greater degree?