A Meaningful Activity To Do With Your Teen Daughter

There are few gifts as sweet as little girls. In her frilly frock with her first locks tied up in a pretty bow, boasting a toothless smile, a baby girl can cause even the hardest of hearts to melt…

And just like all the wonders that God created, our little girls grow, and mature, and develop. Unfortunately in our fallen world, there are issues that seem to grow with them and make a much more prominent appearance during their teen years; temptations, obsession with their outer appearance, the need to feel loved and accepted, and the need to sleep, to name but a few.

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In the midst of this concoction of emotion and struggle, as parents, we need to be strong faithful anchors, a voice of encouragement in despair, a source of unconditional love, and givers of much wisdom and guidance. It is during this time of their lives where all of our investment into our daughters pays off, and where we may see sweet fruit of years of hard labour.

Last night, my husband and I took our daughter, Aviel, out on a surprise outing. It was such a blessing to each of us, that I wanted to share the idea with you as a meaningful activity to do with your teen daughter. We had on our hearts to spoil her as a small token of our appreciation to her for all the many ways in which our soon-to-be 15 year old serves our family. But we also used the opportunity to focus on a quality that we pray she would thrive in: Purity.

The Meaningful Choice of A Purity Ring

During the first part of our evening we went shopping for a Purity Ring. This is any ring that our daughter, Aviel, could wear as a reminder to live a pure life before a holy God. What we didn’t anticipate was how significant it was that she got to choose her own ring. Firstly, it wasn’t the one I would have chosen for her, and she will be much more keen to wear a ring that she chose for herself. Secondly, after we bought it, she shared with me why she wanted this ring, in particular.

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She said it reminds her that Jesus is the centre of and the beauty in her heart, and that just as the zirconia shines, He is what she wants people to see shining out of her. Wow! So precious….

The Meaningful Significance of Purity

We kept her ring in the box it came in, and moved to the second part of our plan. We went out for a dessert at a restaurant that we knew our daughter would love.

As we walked in and after she ooo’d and aaa’d, she spotted a piano in the corner of the restaurant and asked our waitress for permission to play it. Her playing filled the place with so much peace. It was beautiful. This was a blessing we could not have foreseen.

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We ordered our treats, and then read some notes we had made (mostly compiled from the internet) on purity. I, for one, learned so much, and Aviel was listening intently.

I am offering a free PDF of our notes which you may choose to use, in order to save you the hassle of doing the work yourself, but as a short summary we shared that:

  • Purity is a heart choice that affects all of life, not just abstinence. Purity needs to stem from a heart that desires to honor and obey God in every area of life.
  • Purity is not a one-time choice, it is also a daily decision.
  • Purity is ultimately her decision. We, as parents have given our daughter a piece of jewelry; but she has to choose to be pure.
  • Purity has to start in the small areas. The girl who wears the ring should work hard at keeping her mind and heart pure.
  • The way she will treat her purity is a direct display of her personal relationship with God and her respect of Him.

We also shared some relevant verses with Aviel which we encouraged her to memorize and hide in her heart for when she faces temptation of any kind (also in the PDF provided).

 

The Meaningful Gesture of Making it Official

We thought that our daughter could handle making her commitment a little more formal and intentional, so we had printed this Vow of Purity certificate on to some thicker paper, and presented it to her:

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As we handed her the purity ring, she read the certificate carefully, signed it, and handed it to each of us to sign as witnesses. I can’t begin to tell you how powerful this was. It was almost as though it sealed her desire to be pure, and set it in motion.

Of course, time will tell. Neither the certificate, nor the ring guarantees that she will remain pure in body, mind, and heart. But it is definitely a step in the right direction, and a document that she can look back on, to remind her of the commitment she made, and to keep heading on the narrow path.

The Meaningful Blessing of Special Treats

The last part of the evening was a special treat that we had planned as the cherry on top of our time with Aviel. She has always longed to go to a ballet and since there was a single showing by the Royal New Zealand Ballet of Giselle, we bought some tickets and surprised her. She was beaming! I’m talking radiant light shining out of her big, brown eyes! It was all she had ever imagined it would be…

You know, my friend, sometimes we can be so focused on training our girls, on disciplining our girls, and correcting our girls, that far too long of a period can pass without us treating our girls! Making memories with each one truly is a meaningful blessing, and will only bear good fruit in our relationships.

The Meaningful Response

On our way home, our daughter could not stop thanking us, acknowledging the sacrifice we made financially and time-wise in planning the evening and spoiling her. She also told us that she can’t imagine there being better parents than us on the whole earth, and that she feels so blessed and privileged to have us as her mother and father.

I don’t say this to boast in our parenting (because she obviously temporarily forgot the myriad of mistakes we make with her!), but I wanted to share this to emphasize that the fruit of this meaningful activity that expressed our love, seriousness about her faith and purity, and our desire to bless her, resulted in a reciprocal heart of grace and kindness.

A Warning

Please don’t misread these words and think that our evening was perfect, and that yours wouldn’t match up! Part way through the evening we received a text inviting Aviel to a teen camp that both my husband and I were against her attending. And as we discussed it, there were tears and I feared our evening would be ruined. But as God always does, He takes our feeble efforts and redeems them, turning them into eternal gold!

So, no matter where you are in your relationship with your teen girl, I encourage you to plan a special evening to share about purity, or something meaningful that can assist your daughter to grow in her faith, sprinkle it with some treats and affection, and ask God to graciously accomplish His holy purposes through it.

I’d love to hear how it went!!

What would your daughter enjoy doing that you can use as a springboard to spending a meaningful evening with her? What Godly quality would you emphasize that would set her up for living for the Lord to a greater degree?

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Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.
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About womenabiding

Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.
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53 Responses to A Meaningful Activity To Do With Your Teen Daughter

  1. Joanne Viola says:

    A beautiful and meaningful way to teach this concept of purity! I am sure it will be a precious memory for you, your husband and your daughter. Blessings!

  2. We did this with both of our children and it’s definitely not about perfection but the intention of the heart towards purity. Thank you for sharing your experience. Visiting today from the #RaRaLinkup 🙂

    • womenabiding says:

      You hit the nail right on the head, Angela! Our daughters will never be perfect, but they certainly can have God’s standards of purity and other holy values set before them and with His help, strive to live them out… Such a blessing to have had your invaluable input xoxo

  3. Tehila, this is just beautiful. What a wonderful way to do something special with our daughters while providing them a constant reminder to remain pure before our God. Thank you for sharing this beautiful experience. By the way, I’m coming over from Women with Intention Wednesdays. 🙂

  4. Sandi says:

    What a lovely post about mothers and daughters! I never had a daughter but I do have a little granddaughter. She is just a wee girl right now but before we know it, she will be a teenager. Thank you for sharing with us so beautifully.

    Blessings,
    Sandi

    • womenabiding says:

      Yes, Sandi! You probably well know how quickly the years fly by. Teaching our daughters and granddaughters purity and other precious truths is not a job that starts the day they enter their teens, it is well before that, throughout their childhood years, when we instil these beloved values into them. They’re never too young… With blessing to you! xoxo

  5. This is a great article and I plan to do something similar with my daughter. 🙂

  6. Paula Kiger says:

    The teen years definitely are a different and more formidable territory in many ways. Thank you for sharing about this meaningful evening with your daughter.

  7. Jann Olson says:

    What a beautiful idea! Many girls struggle through their teen years with low self esteem. Often some feel the need to be accepted and turn to what they think is love. Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

  8. Tyra says:

    Thank you thank you. This is a good word on so many levels. The gift of time, the deposit of love, the honor bestowed upon your daughter, ah…all of it. Just beautiful! As a mom of a tween and an 8 year old I try to be diligent in consistently pouring into them. Happy to visit from Grace & Truth.

    • womenabiding says:

      Thank you, lovely Tyra! Your words here are so beautiful and your heart to disciple and train your children is admirable and inspiring. Keep up the wonderful work for the Lord that you are doing! Great is your reward in Heaven! xoxo

  9. Carmen says:

    This is awesome! I am excited to take my daughter to look for her purity. She just started her first year of high school so I think it will be perfect timing to speak to her more in depth of purity. Thank you for all the tips and information to speak to our daughters about and for posting a pic of the form you used. This post was really helpful!

    • womenabiding says:

      You are most welcome, Carmen. Yes! This would be an absolutely perfect time to speak with your daughter about purity. Our girls can get so lost, confused and face so many temptations during their teen years, and I’m proud of you for thinking to reach out to your daughter in this way! Blessings to you xoxo

  10. What a beautiful evening for your family! Your daughter will remember it forever (as I’m sure you will too!)

    • womenabiding says:

      Yes, indeed, Becky… it was a beautiful evening, and hopefully one that carries much significance in our daughter’s life for years to come. It is so special to have had you stop by! Thank you and much love to you xoxo

  11. This has been a very meaningful choice we did with our daughter!! We took her on a weekend trip to work through Passport to Purity and gave her the ring following the weekend. She is now 21, and this ring is hugely significant to her as she lives out her promise. You are so spot on here!!

    • womenabiding says:

      I can’t tell you special this is for me to here, Crystal! We do our best, but being able to look back and see that our efforts to equip our daughters with the reminder and conviction to stay pure, and then see them living that out, is beyond precious! Thank you so, so, so much for your encouragement! xoxo

  12. Kelly Basham says:

    Great post on purity Tehila and what a special moment for both you, your husband and your daughter.

  13. Tehila, we have four sons (no daughters), but we’ve done a similar activity with our boys. Because of the boys’ active lives and job choices, we’ve gone with a necklace instead of a ring, but the special time of bonding and truth sharing is irreplaceable!

    • womenabiding says:

      That’s an incredible idea, Michele! I love how you were creative with approaching the subject with your boys and finding something suitable for them. You’re an inspiration! xoxox

  14. These rings came along “after my time,” but this sounds like such a special thing to do with daughters! I love how you made such a big deal of it and of her!

    • womenabiding says:

      Growing up, my family weren’t believers at all, but how I wish this would have been presented to me as a crucial concept to follow all those years ago. While it is a more “modern” idea, it certainly has it’s place, and it’s a privilege to be able to use it in our daughter’s lives for God’s glory… Thank you so much for stopping by, Lisa! xoxo

  15. Leslie says:

    Makes me look forward to when my daughter is a teen although I am savoring all the moments of her childhood. I love how you emphasize that purity is a daily choice. Thanks for sharing on the #LMMLinkup.

  16. Ruth Campos says:

    Great idea! I showed the ring to my daughter, and she wanted to go out and find one like it! 🙂

  17. What a precious story to always hold closely to your heart in memory! I will stop to pray for her to always turn to God for the strength to maintain her vow of purity! I will also pray for a hedge of protection around her throughout life! Thank you, Tehila, for this sweet hope! And thank you for sharing it at #MomentsofHope!

    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

    • womenabiding says:

      Thank you so much, my sweet Lori-friend! It truly is up to the Lord to keep her eyes focused on Jesus and the purity and holiness that please Him. God bless you today and always xoxo

  18. Wendy says:

    I’m so glad you linked up with us at Hip Homeschool Moms! I enjoyed this post and am planning to do something similar with my daughter.

  19. Bibi says:

    My daughter still has about 10 years to go, but I love the idea of the purity ring and I pray we will be able to have a special evening like yours with her when she is ready. This is an encouraging idea. Glad to read your evening ended well, even after the text.
    Blessings,
    Bibi

    • womenabiding says:

      Thanks Bibi… you have a lot to look forward to, as there really are beautiful activities that you will be able to do with your lovely daughter! When we attach special meaning or significance to a simple activity, it just becomes so memorable for us and our daughters… God bless you xoxo

  20. Janice says:

    Hi,
    I have 3 daughters. Thank you for bringing your post to the Pit Stop last week.
    Janice, Pit Stop Crew

  21. Mendi says:

    I appreciate finding your blog. My husband and I are on the tail end of raising 5 kids; just two left at home, both teen daughters. I found your blog in a link party today and plan to follow. Looking forward to it!

  22. It sounds like such a special evening, and that ring is gorgeous. Thanks so much for sharing over at #FridayFrivolity. 🙂

  23. Wow, Tehila! What a special evening you planned for your daughter. I love your definitions of purity in the bullet points. So good. Will copy those or bookmark to keep in mind.

  24. Good ideas here! I also just realized you’re in New Zealand! My sister used to live there so I visited her several years ago and it was such a wonderful trip. Anyway, thanks for linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

    • womenabiding says:

      Oh how wonderful, Kristin! So glad you got the chance to come to this beautiful country! It’s pretty much an out of the way place, so not many make it out this far 🙂 Blessings to you, sweet sister xoxox

  25. Janice Wald says:

    My girls aren’t too into jewelry. I was a tom boy growing up. My influence.
    Thanks for bringing your post to Blogger’s Pit Stop last week.
    Janice, Pit Stop Crew

  26. Janice Wald says:

    Thanks for bringing your post to the Blogger’s Pit Stop last week.
    Janice, Pit Stop Crew

  27. Mavis Chuma says:

    I love the fact that your post covered pretty much every aspect in my opinion.The fact that it’s a heat choice that affects every area,it’s a personal choice,she will have to start in small decisions,it’s not a one time thing,purity reflects her personal decision with God.

    Very well said….and that time will tell.You guys did your best.
    Thanks much for this

  28. Jeannie says:

    What a sweet, meaningful way to guide your daughter on her purpose on Earth. I have one daughter – she’s 16…and she is the most precious person. She struggles sometimes not being like “all the other girls”…. (she doesn’t “hang out”, wear makeup, or show her body off). Peer pressure can be rough, but she knows she is waiting for the one God chooses for her. ~Jeannie @The Mom Fairy

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