9 Ways to Get Unstuck When You’re In Survival Mode

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We all go through them… those times where nothing exciting seems to be happening in life. When day after day drifts by with nothing to look forward to in sight.

I’ve been through these stages too many times to recount; motivation is low, stress is high, and joy seems like a distant memory. Been there, done that. And it ain’t fun. But, over the years, with God’s help, I’ve picked up a few tips and tricks that have kick started me back into first gear, so that I felt as though I was moving forward, rather than spinning my wheels in a deep rut.

9-ways-to-get-unstuck-when-youre-in-survival-mode

If you are nodding your head, thinking, “Yes, that’s me right now!” I pray that these 9 Ways to Get Unstuck When You’re In Survival Mode will be a reference that you can refer back to again and again.

1. Read the Word

I know this may seem like a cliché, but honestly, you can’t do yourself a greater favour! There literally is no replacement for infusing God’s life-giving, perspective-changing, stress-relieving words into your soul. And don’t just get up tomorrow morning and read Psalm 117 (the shortest Psalm :-)), delve into the Scriptures the next day too, and the next, and the next. Reading and meditating on God’s Word somehow dislodges our shipwrecked faith, sets the sails back up, and fuels the wind to get us in motion again. If you do nothing else on this list, at least do this! It’s foolproof.

2. Do One Big Thing and Two Small Things

Something I found to be most helpful in making me feel like I had some purpose in life during my ‘stuck’ periods has been to decide each day on one big thing and two small things that I wanted to accomplish. Obviously, my big thing of choice wouldn’t be inventing a cure for the Ebola Virus or writing a New York Times best selling novel. It could be something like:

  • Reply to 5 emails;
  • Grocery shop for the week. Or even more minute than that;
  • Take a shower!

Pick just one big thing to do that is realistic and matches up to the level of stamina you can currently exert.

The next part is easy. Pick two little things that you can do. Perhaps to pay an online bill, or make your bed. A couple of little tasks that if you do those, you’ll feel as though you accomplished something of value.

Often when we’re in a kind of dead-zone in our lives, and we aren’t as fully functional as we would like to be, the tasks pile up, and they simply seem too insurmountable to take on when we see them listed on a to-do list! Having one big thing and two small things to do that you can tick off and feel good about is a really good and doable start.

3. Give Yourself Grace

Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re going through a difficult, trying time. Your rose coloured glasses are darkened and dulled, and your usual sharp edges seem blunt. That’s O.K. It happens to us all, and you don’t have to win the top performing mom or most cheerful wife award this week or this month. There’s no pressure. Take your time in letting this phase pass.

Your Holy and Sovereign Father in Heaven knows where you’re at, and He said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) So, let it be…

If God is giving you grace, maybe you can give *you* grace too :-).

Of course this doesn’t give you license to just throw in the towel, sit on the couch, and watch soap operas all day, but it does allow you to dwell on the perspective that as long as you are in need of God’s all-sufficient grace, you are in your ‘weakness’ state, and the greater your weakness (which may be pretty up there right now), the stronger His opportunity to show Himself in and through you! So give yourself the grace to be weak while He works.

4. Have Something to Look Forward To

I don’t know about you, but not having something to look forward to is enough to plummet me into the dumps pretty fast. Take a look at your calendar and choose something coming up that you can await in anticipation. It may be something as routine as your monthly potluck church lunch, or the upcoming weekend when your hubby is home and can help out more with the children, giving you a bit of a break. Just a little carrot drawing you to the next little reward goes a long way in sprucing life up a bit.

Of course, that’s not to say that you shouldn’t live in the present.

There are lessons and truths that God wants to teach you and instill into you today. Click To Tweet

Looking ahead and missing what God is doing right now is going to do you no favours. So be mindful of God’s work in your heart and circumstances, while also looking forward to a little blessing that He has for you in the near future.

5. Share With Someone

As believers, we are all called to carry one another’s burdens. If you don’t share your burdens with others, and give them something to carry, then you’re not doing your part in this commandment. When we’re feeling blah and blue, the last thing we often feel like is involving others. We think thoughts like, “They won’t understand.” “They’re too busy to worry about me. I don’t want to overload them.” Or “What’s the point. I wouldn’t even know how to describe this ‘stuck’ stage with them anyway.” Understandable.

The thing is, that the natural tendency when we’re stuck is to go into isolation mode. We feel as though we’re not at a stage that we can contribute anything to others anyway. We imagine the world going on gleefully without us, and we don’t want to be the killjoy to bring anyone down.

But you see, my dear friend, that you can’t go into island mode. Not now! This is exactly the time that you need people. You need the encouragement, the spurring on, the perspective that others can see but that you can’t at the moment. Reach out. Even if it’s to one or two people that you can trust. People you know will care and pray.

6. Get Enough Sleep

One of the very best proactive things we can do for ourselves is also the most effortless. Sleep! Click To Tweet

There is literally nothing in the physical world that can influence our mindset, our mood, and our mental stability as much as a good night’s sleep does.

This is definitely my downfall. I have found, sadly, that it’s a vicious cycle when I feel stuck. I go to bed too late (okay, way too late!), get up long before my body has completed its necessary rest, which spirals into the wrong start to the next day, and so it goes on…

So, for this cycle to be broken, we can break it into two actions that need to take place. Going to bed in the evenings and our morning routine. There are two resources I highly recommend for this process. The first is a 21 Day Go-To-Bed Challenge which is a fantastic and practical free course which is extremely helpful in kicking that staying-up-too-late-habit.

The second resource I highly recommend is by Crystal Paine and is called Make Over Your Mornings.

make-over-your-mornings-crystal-paine

This is a wonderful and doable 14 day online course that includes a downloadable .pdf workbook and is designed to help you to start your days well. It’s worked wonders in my own life!

7. Read A Good Book

Besides reading the Good Book, a huge booster and blessing during this time is to read a good book. God can and does use the writings of our day by authors who have experienced and grown in the Lord in their fields to encourage, reassure, comfort and energize His children. Read books that transport you out of your current situation and challenge you to greatness in Him, to love of Him, and to holiness.

Ask a bookworm friend to recommend something to read that is God glorifying and inspiring. I have a couple of friends who whatever they’re reading, I know I need to get my hands on. I trust their judgment and sound choice of books.

I’d say that this step of reading a book that will be a catalyst in turning your eyes to the Lord, and your heart to His purposes is one of the most important steps to take in order to get unstuck when you’re in survival mode.

8. Examine Yourself

Believe it or not, you are actually growing! You’re learning. You’re alive and well, even though everything within you may be telling you the opposite is true. Like plants that go through times where there they have very little activity during dormant seasons, there are still processes going on under the surface, and of which much fruit comes when the time is right.

Remember that gorgeous encouragement from Ecclesiastes 3:11:

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Well, that includes you and your heart. You’re a work in progress, and accept this reminder that God isn’t finished with you yet. In fact, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6). Need I say more?

One additional question that is crucial to ask yourself when you’re feeling stuck is this, “Am I in some kind of sin?

Walking in sin can often lead to our Godly peace and passion coming to a halt. Click To Tweet
  • Are you perhaps not obeying in something you know God is asking you to do, or stop doing?
  • Have you sinfully wronged someone, yet you are proudly not asking for their (and God’s) forgiveness?
  • Have you slipped into a sinful habit that you are not letting go of?

The Lord will lovingly point out where you veered off the road if you pray to ask Him and will be faithful and just to forgive you, cleansing you from all unrighteousness.

Ask yourself (and the Lord) some hard questions and recognize that God is indeed at work in and around you. At times He hides His Face (Job 34:29), but his loving gaze never leaves you.

9. Pray

And how can we leave prayer off this list?

If you’ve ever wrestled with the question of prayer, perhaps the thoughts of the 19th-century preacher R. A. Torrey can help. Among the reasons he gave for prayer are these:

  • Because there is a devil, and prayer is a God-appointed way to resist Him.(James 4:7)
  • Because prayer is God’s way for us to obtain what we need from Him (James 4:2).
  • Because prayer is the means God has appointed for us to find “grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).
  • Because prayer with thanksgiving is God’s way for us to obtain freedom from anxiety and to receive “the peace of God” (Philippians 4:6-7).

I can’t improve on the words of this learned man. If you are struggling to pray during this time, and feel like your words are boomeranging off the ceiling, try one of these methods:

Pray out loud – some of my most memorable and precious prayer times over the past years have been when I’ve been alone in the car driving somewhere and just started talking to God, pouring my heart out, communing with Him. It feels awkward to start, but once you get going, you won’t be able to stop :-).

My second suggestion is to write your prayers out. If you have a journal that you are accustomed to keeping, that would be a good place, but even if you start a new notebook, and write to the Lord as you would a friend, it would be a great way to connect with Him. The Choose Gratitude: Blessings Journal is a wonderful place to start, too.

choose-gratitude-journal-crystal-pains 

Lastly, but by no means least, I highly recommend a book written by one of my favourite authors, Don Whitney, Praying the Bible. Whitney shares a revolutionary way of praying that is so simple, but so profound! Your prayer life will never be the same after you read this book!

praying-the-bible-donald-whitney

If you’d like to get a taster, Sign up for a free 5-day email course on praying the Bible at crossway.org/PraytheBible. You will thank me forever :-).

Whew! Well that was quite a manuscript, but my heart is filled with hope that it’ll help you!

You may want to check out Crystal Paine’s New York Times Best Selling book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 Simple Strategies to Stress Less, Sleep More, and Restore Your Passion for Life:

say-goodbye-to-survival-mode-crystal-paine

Important Note: I have yet to read this book, and the above points are based on my own experience, not Crystal’s highly recommended book.

Which of these steps are you going to start with to get unstuck? Do you have any additional pieces of advice for those who are feeling in a rut today? 

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68 Comments

  1. This is still a great post for 2020 and boy have I felt stuck this year at times. This is a great article. I will save in Pinterest happy to find you via the trafficjamweekend.

  2. These are such great tips. I have found that Bible art journaling is incredibly helpful, too. It helps His word sink deep into my heart.
    Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth.

  3. Great tips!! I praise God for His grace, that’s one of the things that helps me to survive! Thank you for sharing this with us at the #HomeMattersParty

    1. Yes, Jamie… without His grace and goodness, none of us would survive… I’m so thankful to Him for His undeserving mercy… Blessings to you today and always xoox

  4. I have been stuck in survival mode recently dealing with health challenges, a very ill parent and and depressing spring weather. I do need to remind myself to have a bit of grace with myself- and to read a book- which always destresses me.

    1. Appreciate your honesty, Michele. May the Lord bless you and lift you out of your hardship, while accomplishing His perfect will and growing your beautiful character more into His likeness… keep in touch 🙂 xoxo

  6. Hi there,
    I am of Jewish descent and I honestly feel that our family has been in survival mode for several generations now. Horrible things were done and my family went into hiding. It is a mindset that always feels like you’re stooping while trying to walk in a house with low-hanging beams. You fear that you might bang your head at any moment and so you’re always trying to be so careful. The threat is long since gone, but here we are, still in survival mode. Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing.

  8. This is a wonderful post, with so many practical and good suggestions. I’m definitely pinning it to share with others. Great book choices, too. Donald Whitney is one of my favorite also.

    Thanks for linking up on Mondays @ Soul Survival. Blessings!

  12. Thank you for sharing these really great tips at #HomeMattersParty I tend to isolate myself when I am down an I agree that is the worst thing you can do.

  14. Visiting from LMM. This is a great list- lots of good advice. I like the idea of doing one big thing and two small things so we at least feel we’ve achieved something. Also the reminder to give ourselves grace. I certainly find it easier to give grace to other people but I can be quite hard on myself.

  15. Thanks for sharing at the Blogger’s Pit Stop. I commented a couple weeks ago but I see it’s still awaiting moderation.

  16. Hi!
    You are so on point with these tips! Sometimes the seemingly simplest things can make such a big difference and get you moving again! When I was still working, that was something I often shared with my clients in counseling. Blessings on your weekend! Happy to be visiting as your neighbor today at the Linkup at Grace and Truth.

  17. I SO need to work on the going to sleep! I am a night owl, however that doesn’t work when you have to get up early as well! I need to do your challenge 🙂

    Great post! I’m scheduling this to share on my Facebook page!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

    1. I hear you, Lori! Honestly… I’m writing you this reply at 12:29am – while reassuring myself that it’s OK because we change our clocks back tonight, so it’s actually 11:29pm LOL… It’s a weakness of mine, but I have tasted many a time what a blessing it is when I do go to bed earlier, and do so more often than not nowadays… Thank you for your encouragement, and may the Lord truly grant us both the discipline and strength that we need 🙂 Love, Tehila xoxo

  20. I, too, have been in that “stuck” mode as have others. I have been known to tell them, “go back to God’s Word even if you’re in a place where you’re not feeling anything at all.”

    Thank you for sharing this, I will be sharing also.

    1. Appreciate your humility, Tammy. Sounds as though you truly minister to others with the experience that you’ve been through as well. God bless you in all you do xoxo

  21. Thank you for your encouragement! It can be so easy to slip into survival mode without even realizing it! I know that I do need to take more time in the Word, and I know that I need to take time to do a few things I enjoy…like reading a God-glorifying book.

    1. Go for it, Dolly! The two activities you mentioned are such a vital investment into your own life, and you need the encouragement and richness of both to nurture your soul, so that you can more freely and peacefully give out to others around you. Thank you so much for your humility and honesty. I absolutely loved having you here at Women Abiding! xoxoxo

  23. Excellent tips! I love that you share things that we so often mistakenly think are “selfish”. But doing things that will fill us (or allow others to help fill us) are essential to our health and well being! Thanks for sharing these great reminders!

    1. You’re right, Kate… sometimes we do view certain things that are good for us as ‘selfish’ but they may also be necessary, as you say… You’re such a blessing! xoxo

  24. I love the advice – do one big thing and two small things! I am a big list maker and often I can easily get overwhelmed with having this giant to-do list that most likely will not get accomplished at the end of the day. But by keeping it small, it is definitely more achievable. Thanks for this wonderful post! Will definitely start putting this into practice!

    1. We are very much alike that way, Sarah! I learned this ‘trick’ when I was pregnant, and when I had newborns… that one big thing and 2 small things were just about all I could accomplish those days… It is a good piece of advice for anyone who is overwhelmed, stuck, or struggling, I think… So glad it may come in handy in your life, too 🙂 Blessings to you! xoxo

  25. These are such great tips! I am all about getting out of survival mode. I especially liked point 2- thanks for sharing at Mama Shares!

    1. May the Lord truly encourage and strengthen you during this trying time, Kaye. Thank you for your humility, and I pray you see Him at work in the small and greater things.. Hugs to you xoxo

  27. This is such a great list! I’ll have to keep it handy for reference;) Bible journaling has become one of my ‘therapies’ lately.
    Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth!

  28. Thankful to stop by from the #RaRalinkup and note your tips. With the rush of everyday living, it is so easy to slide into survival mode. I’m even more thankful for your book suggestions.

  29. Thank you for sharing such an edifying and insightful post!

    I too am someone that can get down when I don’t have something to look forward to. I find that it does help to even look forward to something small, like a walk in the park with my husband in the evening. (Although, I do get my biggest mood boosts from spending fun time with friends or family.)

    I also appreciated your insight about reading. I love to read books that I call “mentor books”, ones that challenge me in my walk of faith, but in a good, inspirational way.

    I leave your blog feeling blessed today. 🙂

  30. Thank you for this precise and thorough list of reminders. I often need such just to get me through a period when I am forgetful about the good things I should be doing rather than the negative.
    I feel blessed to have come by from TGI Sat.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

  32. These are such wonderful tips! Getting enough sleep is a huge challenge for me. I don’t stay up late but I wake up so early. Thank you for sharing at the Blogger’s Pit Stop.

  33. Such great advice. Prayer is my favorite – especially writing our prayers in a journal. Then we are able to look back and see how God has worked in our lives. Now going to look at your recommendation – “Praying the Bible.”

  34. Sleep is such an important one! We just can’t operate at our best if we’re exhausted. I love the idea of having a big thing and two smaller things to accomplish each day – every step forward makes a big difference. Thanks so much for sharing at #FridayFrivolity.

  35. Great reminders to give ourselves permission to let go and let God be God in our lives. #3 and #6 are two I am working hard on lately. I think the getting enough sleep tends to evade me because I stay up late to get things done and get up early to do the same. 🙂 Something’s gotta give there, right. 🙂 And well… that whole giving myself grace, I am just learning how to do that one. Thanks for the reminder, though.
    Blessings
    Dawn

    1. Great to have your feedback, Dawn! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and interact 🙂 May the Lord truly guide you during this time in your life, and grow your trust in His wonderful sovereignty! xoxo

  36. Tehila, this is such a great post! Chock full of wisdom and insight! I’m not in survival mode yet, thank heavens!, but I’m looking at a challenging month ahead. I love your practical tip #2, doing one big thing and two small things each day! That keeps our lists from getting longer and more overwhelming each day! Gives a sense of progress. I also like that reminder to get enough sleep. I read my Bible, share with others, etc., but sometimes I forget that basic SLEEP! 🙂 #GraceandTruth

    1. I’m so glad you could glean some helpful tips from this post, Betsy, even though you’re not in Survival Mode 🙂 We never know what’s around the corner from God to grow us, so it’s always a great idea to get into good habits and a godly focus on Him while we’re cruising along… God bless you, sweet sister! xox

  37. It was truly God’s timing that I needed to read this today as we are stuck deep in a rut of survival mode. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless.

    1. I praise God for your little testimony! May He turn your hearts towards Him more and more as you seek His guidance, strength, and courage. With much blessing, Tehila!

  38. I think that your words will resonate with many Christian women who are blessed beyond measure — but too exhausted to take the next step. Thanks for these grace-oriented steps for getting our hearts back into trust mode!

  39. This was so practical and helpful! I especially love #2, I’ve never thought of that but it’s a great way to get moving and get something done when you don’t really feel like you can. Also reaching out to others, getting sleep, reading a book, and especially finding something to look forward to – that one was a biggie for me when going through empty nest syndrome. I felt like I had nothing left to look forward to and life was basically over. But God pointed the way and brought me out of the mire through the Thankfulness Challenge!

    Thanks for sharing with us at Tuesday Talk – I’m going to feature this post as one of my top 3 next week! Love it!

    1. Oh wow, Ruthie! What a high honour you have bestowed upon me!!! Thank you so much… I so much appreciate your honesty and humility in sharing about your struggle and what helped me. What a blessing you are! Thank you again 🙂 xoxo

  40. Hoping to follow through on several of these today -with the Lord’s help, especially the sleep part!! Thank you for the thought-provoking tips! #IntentionallyPursuing

    1. Sounds like a plan, Bethany! Getting enough sleep is so crucial (thank you for reminding me of that 🙂 ) God bless you today and always xoxo

  41. This is great! Recently, I was stuck in a “funk” I guess. I was slowly falling into a pit of depression and I needed to do something to get myself out of it. I tried pretty much everything on your list. I must say that the one thing I did that made the most difference, was to speak to a few close friends about what I was going through. Everything else on your list did help me to some extent, but it seemed like once I had someone else on my side, everything I tried seemed to work much better. Everything on your list can help on its own, but they all work even better when you don’t feel alone. When you have someone encouraging you to keep going.

    1. Isabelle! I loved you sharing your personal experience here with me and the Women Abiding community. You have given us invaluable truth and when I read through your comment, I realised to an even greater degree just how important others are in the process of getting unstuck (and pretty much during everything we go through in life!). I loved your thoughts and was cheering you on when I pondered them… May the Lord greatly encourage your heart and lead you on His path of joy, peace, and purpose! Love to you xoxo

  42. I love your tips! Particularly–do one big thing and two small things. Momentum is a powerful way to help us get out of a rut. Thank you for your thoughtful post! Visiting from #MMBH

    1. You’re right, Angela! Personally I always feel better when I accomplish stuff, even as I wrote in the post, little things. Many blessings to you, sweet friend! xoxo

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