What You Say No To, Defines You

Note: Please roll over the Scripture references to view each verse.

I recently saw a billboard sign that stopped me dead in my tracks. It plainly stated, “What you say no to, defines you.” The fine print said, ‘No Preservatives, No Additives,” etc., but the point of that poignant slogan really hit home for me.


In our lives, as we walk with God, there are standards – holy standards – that He expects us to live by. And often those standards require us saying ‘no.’ Tweet that ‘No’ to worldliness (James 1:27). ‘No’ to the temptation to tell a white lie (Revelation 21:8). Even ‘no’ to subtly twisting God’s Word to say what would be convenient for us to “hear” in any given situation (2 Corinthians 4:2).

The truth of the matter is, that when you say ‘no’ to one thing, you are actually saying ‘yes’ to something else. Both your ‘no’s’ and your ‘yesses’ make statements about

Who you are

What you believe

What you stand for

Consider these possible life scenarios, and how saying ‘no’ to the ungodly standard, is saying ‘yes’ to implications that will bring the Lord’s blessing in your life:


You’re struggling in your marriage. Maybe not to the level of breaking point, but there are issues between you and your man that you simply can’t seem to get past as a couple. You hear of a psychologist in your area who is supposed to have a good reputation for helping marriages get turned around.

Saying “no” to consulting worldly people who have temporal solutions to overcome your marital struggles, means you can turn for wisdom to a godly believer, who will present God’s keys to examining where your heart truly is, and lead you to a  how you can have your marriage healed using Biblical principles. Saying “yes” to advice and instruction by godly believers is a path that is strongly encouraged in Scripture (Psalm 1:1, Proverbs 19:20).


You have a few minutes and decide to hop onto Facebook and catch up on your friends’ news. Post after post you encounter joyful photos of happy children (as you hear your own engaged in World War 3 in the next bedroom). As you scroll down, you are confronted with praise reports of how God is blessing people, evidence of beautiful recipes that have been made, and exotic vacations that loved ones are enjoying. All too quickly envy, ingratitude, and discontentment creeps into your heart. You try to recall the last time you saw God’s hand clearly in your circumstances, and come up empty. You cringe at the season of flops your recipes have yielded lately, and financially you see no chance or hope of even a night away with your husband, let alone a vacation at a spot worthy of a Facebook post.

Saying ‘no’ to envy, ingratitude, and discontentment is saying ‘yes’ to focusing on the countless blessings that would come to your mind if you sat before Him, if only for a few minutes and meditated on these. Health, a roof over your head, intelligent children, a refrigerator filled with food, people who love you dearly and unconditionally. Rejoicing in your lot in the life granted you by a God who is sovereign and good is pleasing to the Lord, and wholesome to your soul.

Saying ‘yes’ to honing in on what you have, rather than what you lack is to accept that you are exactly where your Creator intended you to be at this very moment in time, possessing what He desired for you possess, and that He has equipped you with the gifts that you have to accomplish His works for your life. (Ecclesiastes 5:19, Ephesians 2:10, 1 Thessalonians: 5:18).


This one is the biggie, my sweet friend. God Himself has paid the price for you, a sinner, to be able to be forgiven and accepted by a holy God. He sent His Son, Jesus, to die in your place for your transgressions (past, present, and future). You may think you are a ‘good person,’ but if you have ever told even one lie, stolen as little as a paper clip, used God’s name in vain as a curse word, or looked at someone with lust in your heart, by God’s standard, you are a lying, thieving, blaspheming, adulterer at heart. You, like all the rest of us, are in need of His salvation.

Saying ‘no’ to, and thereby rejecting, the truth of God’s Word and ways, choosing not to believe in what He did for you, and refusing to repent (turn away from your sins), is the most serious ‘no’ you will ever make. The gravest mistake, that will cost you for eternity. Alternatively, saying ‘yes’ to His plan of salvation, will in turn lead to eternity with Him in Heaven, and an abundant life (Mark 4:20, John 10:10). Wow! What you say, ‘no’ to, does define you, beloved one. In fact, it speaks volumes to a dying world.

It is often counter-cultural and politically incorrect, but we who know God belong to the Almighty, to an imperishable Kingdom, which is diametrically opposed to so much around us. I urge you to stand and so ‘no’ to ungodliness in every situation that comes up daily, and by God’s grace, to choose ‘yes’ to the narrow way that leads to everlasting life. Does this concept resonate with you? I would love to hear what you can you say ‘no’ to today, that will mean saying ‘yes’ to a far godlier way of living? 

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Photo credit: hartman045 via photopin cc



Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.

About womenabiding

Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.
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22 Responses to What You Say No To, Defines You

  1. Sarah Ann says:

    What a blessing to find you through the Mommy Moments link-up! I’m loving your words of wisdom and that they are so grounded in God’s Truth. I had never thought of saying no to something means saying yes to something else, but you are exactly right! I appreciate the fresh take on assessing situations and seeing how the align with the Word of God. Blessings to you from http://faithalongtheway.com. I am a new follower!

  2. Marie says:

    This quote does say a lot about who we are, and what is important to us doesn’t it. It’s one I’ve written down to mull over through-out the week. Thank you for sharing it.

  3. Jess says:

    This is a really great post!

    Thanks for joining the Link Up this week!

  4. Brittany says:

    So, so true! I think all too often people are afraid to say no and be different, but honestly, if we (as Christians) were just like the world, then why would they bother to want what we have… if it weren’t any different?

  5. What you describe is precisely why I got off Facebook and have stayed off. The root of bitterness was creeping in. I believe the Bible tells us to get rid of temptation so I cut myself off completely from things that tempt me to sin. I believe sin is serious enough that it requires drastic measures sometimes to avoid it.

    • womenabiding says:

      Absolutely, Laura! It’s a controversial and bold stand to take, but oh how the Lord must long for us to take it! I really see Him working in your life by what you’ve shared, and it has greatly blessed me! Keep on fighting the good fight, dear friend xx

  6. Chris Carter says:

    Ah yes… such TRUTH you shared here!! We can be so vulnerable to our own weaknesses and the world’s ways… this is a great reminder to cling to Him, His Promise and His Grace, and trust that God will honor every “no” we can courageously choose in those moments.

  7. Jen Ferguson says:

    To be honest, I’ve been a bit convicted about my time on Facebook. Not so much because of envy, etc (although that has happened before), but more like I could be using the opportunity to press into Him more deeply.

    • womenabiding says:

      Totally understand, Jen! Appreciate your openness. We all have a limited amount of time, and it is so important, but also so hard in this day and age, to use it wisely for the Lord. There seem to be so many pulls in other directions. I’m with you, sis! xx

  8. Sylvia says:

    Thanks for this reminder that we can choose the right way- God’s way! I have a weakness with envy at times! It was nice to see you again at Friendship Friday!

  9. Deana says:

    Great post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I’ve been reading a lot lately about getting margin in your life and being choosy about what you say yes to. This actually goes right along with what I’ve been studying and thinking about lately. Good thoughts!

  10. Misty says:

    Thank you Tehila for linking up at Family Fun Friday! This post will be featured on my site at this week’s link up. <3 and blessings!

  11. Melissa says:

    My grandmother used to say “No is a complete sentence”. That has stuck with me through the years and encouraged me to go with my gut and pass on things that would take my time and attention away from more important things. Great post!

  12. Tanya says:

    My dad once told me to learn to say ‘No’. What he did not tell me was how and what to say no to. He left it on me to figure it out for myself. Life helped me get the answers and I am still a learner. ‘No’ is such a strong word! We all need to learn to use it wisely.

    Thank you for linking up with us on Wake-Up Wednesdays. I am Tanya from Kreative Korner, a co-host for the party.

  13. Jann Olson says:

    I wish that more teens dared to say ‘no’! I say, no to hatred. Love and kindness goes a long way! Thanks for sharing with SYC.

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