Two Ways To Make The Most of This Season of Life

I’m taking a break from the series I’ve been doing on grief to share with you about a truth that has been on my heart lately.

Photo credit: **Mary** via photopin cc
two-ways-to-make-the-most-of-this-season-of-life

Being a home educating mother of four precious children, my role as a mother is to be “all there.”

A mother can be a stay-at-home, homeschooling, homemaking, homebody, but in her heart she can still be elsewhere.

I confess that at times my own pride has given me a pat on the back for the ‘being home for my family’ role that I play. After all, I am sacrificing a career, financial comfort, a social life, and dressing in a pinstriped suit with red high heels, for the sake of my family, aren’t I?

But, my friend, sobering introspection will reveal that just because you are physically present in your home, it doesn’t mean that you are giving it your all.

You can continue reading about two ways to make the most of this season of life at Encourage 24/7 where I am guest posting this week.

What keeps you from being ‘all there’ in your home? Can you add any thoughts to help others in this area?

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62 Responses to Two Ways To Make The Most of This Season of Life

  1. Lisa says:

    Your statement, “just because you are physically present in your home, it doesn’t mean that you are giving it your all” hits the nail right on the head. I watch my two grandsons, and I make an effort to not be distracted by other things but keep my focus on them while they’re with me.

  2. Hazel Moon says:

    Being there in mind as well as body is important to you and your family. We get so busy with our blogs, that we often fail to communicate with our loved ones. Thank you for sharing your thoughts at “Tell Me a Story.” I know you are busy with your children and homeschooling, and I appreciate that you can take the time to share with us here.

  3. Aviel says:

    beautiful post, mummy… i ABSOULUTELY LOVE the picture you put up in “two ways to make the most of this season of life.” really, your graphic designing skills are just so good… proud of you and your blog, mom!!! xxxx :)

    • womenabiding says:

      Thank you my beloved and precious princess! I so much appreciate your love and support. You are one in a million trillion and I am soooo eternally thankful to God that you are my daughter! With my love forever, Mom xxxx

  4. Jedidja says:

    Thanks! This is the first time I am here. Nice and honest. Thank you. I am a stay at home mom of six children. Never regret. But sometimes it was a struggle. I wanted to write in my books, and I also wanted to be a real mom for my children.

    Blessings.

    • womenabiding says:

      Thank you so much for sharing Jedidja! I really value and appreciate your hindsight perspective…

      Blessings to you, and hope to see you again at Women Abiding :-)

  5. Tina says:

    There’s no doubt that it can be hard to give it your all at all times. I just try to keep focused on the task at hand and take a “recess” when I need to let myself wander a little.

  6. Laura says:

    Loving the idea of that pinstripe suit and red heels…. perhaps it’s time to revolutionize the homeschooler mums ‘uniform’ (mine is jeans and cardi, day in day out…)
    Seriously though, I find that if I leave my laptop on during time I need to be (as in ‘be all there’) with my kids, I am not at all ‘all there’ — so I’m trying to get into the habit of only allowing myself to check emails etc when I truly am free to do it. My conscience usually tells me if I have got it right or not… :)

    • womenabiding says:

      Wow!!! If ever two women’s lives were identical – it would be here and now, Laura! I’m totally with you on the laptop issue, and have come to the same conclusions! It’s actually freeing not to be so connected, but rather pouring my energies into my children! And yes, I’d say let’s reconsider the homeschooler mum’s uniform – anything other than pyjama’s would be pretty new to me ;-) LOVED LOVED LOVED seeing you here! xxx

  7. Jenifer says:

    So true: we can be physical present but not giving our all. I look forward to clicking over to Encourage 24/7. Thanks for linking up with Woman to Woman’s Word Filled Wednesday! Please join us again next week.

    God bless.

  8. Amy says:

    I heard Jill Savage (author and owner of “Hearts at Home”) call this “Intentional mothering”…We must be intentional while we are “present”. Great post! I’m new here…and will definitely come back!

  9. Jelli says:

    I confess I know all too well what you’re talking about. Sometimes my mind is in a completely different place rather than focusing on my family during mealtimes and play times with my little girl.

  10. Marie says:

    Being all there was a struggle at one point for me and sometimes still is especially with all the distractions of technology. I do leave the e-mails etc. until the evening when it is my free time and that helps a lot. It is definitely hard to give up the financial stability amongst the other things you have mentioned, but it is sure to be worth it. So glad I found your blog post as it reminds me how important it is to be “all there”.

    • womenabiding says:

      Great to hear, Marie. Technology is my big downfall as well! It sure give us alot of opportunities to exercise the fruit of Self Control in our lives! :-) Thank you for commenting. You’re a blessing! xx

  11. So true, even though My Three Sons are grown, I can relate to feeling that way when I was at home with them. I also write for Internet Cafe Devotions and Lisa Harris wrote an article this week on this very subject entitled “Look at Me!” http://internetcafedevotions.com/ hope you don’t mind that I share it! Thought you might like it since it is so good to go along with your post!!

    You are so blessed to be at home with your four littles and I am sure you are being hard on yourself…but with all of the media distractions we do not realize sometimes how much TIME has elapsed when we just intended to be on there for a couple of ‘minutes’.

    Blessings friend!

    • womenabiding says:

      Dearest sweet friend, thank you for that link, will look into it. Yes, the computer especially is such a thief, and we too often give it the goods (our time) voluntarily! You’ve been a real asset to many with your comment! Hope to see you around here again :-)

  12. I a noticing more and more moms and dads on their phones or i-pads while in the park with their kids. The kids look sad: (

    • womenabiding says:

      I know, Doreen! It’s an epidemic, and I just don’t know how modern parents will get out of it. It’s really something God has to convict one of, and the change should come from there. Thank you so much for sharing your observation! Blessings…

  13. So true! And true for anyone, not just moms. Glad I linked up near you today!

    • womenabiding says:

      Hey neighbour :-) You’re so right! These principles are true for anyone on the planet, not just moms! Life is just so much more meaningful when we’re actually *in* what God has given us to do at each moment… and surrendering to Him, well… that’s a timeless truth.. Thank you so much for stopping by, girlfriend! xx

  14. lovely post. Thank you for sharing at the hop xo

  15. Kathleen says:

    I was a stay-at-home Mom from 1980 to 2010 – 20 years of raising my amazing kiddos and now have two grands and you are so right. I wasn’t always 100% but you know, that’s OK. If I had been always 100% I would have lost myself and burned out. It is so important to take time for yourself, to be you, to be all God created you to be – a wife, mother, homemaker, etc… And woman of God – So many times women are too hard on themselves. I’m a daydreamer, poet, writer, prophet,… I learned maybe a little to late to say “no” when people assumed I had plenty of time on my hands as a SAHM – God and Family with me time. It’s OK to take time to just play :)

    • womenabiding says:

      That’s a great point, Kathleen. We do need to take time for ourselves as mums, but I guess not at the expense of our family. Just as we need to be “all there” when with our children, we need to be “all there” when we are doing the FUN stuff to fuel our own gifts and desires too! Really appreciate your input here… Blessings to you! xx

  16. Julia says:

    I lost a dear friend to a car accident which took her life when I was only 17…it taught me never to take anything for granted and to treasure each and every moment we have with others. I forget that sometimes. I get tired. Lonely. Ratty. It’s a blessing and privilege to be alive. Lets embrace it to the fullest and enjoy all God created for us.

    • womenabiding says:

      Oh, Julia… that must have been SO hard! I’m amazed at how you have used that terrible experience in your life to make your own life more meaningful. You’re an inspiration! God bless you, sweet friend xx

  17. i am often convicted of this too, friend. to be fully present… to be fully aware of our children and the gift the Lord has given us… thanks. and for linking with IP too :) e.

  18. I think this is one of the traps of social media for stay-at-home moms. I know it is for me sometimes. You aren’t all “there” – because you are sharing your time at home with 200-300 other people around the world via Facebook, Twitter, blogging, etc. This is a topic I have on my heart to share on my blog as well very soon.

  19. Pamela says:

    I well remember the day my 3-yr-old daughter told me, “Mommy, turn the ‘puter off.” She’s 20 now and I’m thankful for the lesson she taught me that day. Truth spoken here, friend.

  20. I just wanted to stop by and say ‘hello’ before heading over to read the rest of your post. What a blessing to be guest hosting. Have a wonderful day, Tahila.

  21. Bethany K says:

    Thank you for this! I’m a BRAND NEW mom (less than 2 weeks) – I’m worried I won’t always do my best. I’ll want to give up, and then I’ll feel like a failure and get all depressed, which is even worse for the baby. I signed up for the motherhood collection.
    Thanks again!

    • womenabiding says:

      Dearest Bethany, I feel terrible for not having responded to your comment sooner, but please know that I have been praying for you! How are you doing now that a few more days have passed. Motherhood can be a huge shock to our systems initially, so what you are going through is really normal – a good sign in fact! You are doing a WONDERFUL job being a mama. I can tell, because it’s clear that that is your heart’s desire. I wish I was nearby to help you and personally encourage you. But being in New Zealand, it just ain’t possible. I do know One who IS right beside you though at all times, when you’re up and when you’re down. Look to God during this time, sweet friend. He will strengthen and sustain you. With my love and care, Tehila xxx P.S. Please feel free to contact me through the contact form on womenabiding.com to ask for any advice or prayer… If it’s Ok with you, I’d also love to send you a little document that I’ve written with really practical tips for new moms (which I’ll be making into an eBook at some stage)… Blessings to you beautiful one… xxx

  22. Thanks for such a timely post. I’m a working mom, but pray someday soon to be a homeschooling mom, and the issue of being “all there” is always present in my mind because I do have a limited number of hours available to do that. Thanks for helping me keep on track in that regard.
    Caught your link from Gracelaced

    • womenabiding says:

      May the Lord truly grant you quality time when you are with your beloved children… I love how aware you are of being “all there” with them! You’re an inspiration! xx

  23. Because I work from home most of the time I have to remind myself daily that what is most important is my family not what is on my computer screen. POP: People Over Paperwork is a note I used to have posted up above my desk but now it’s sealed in my heart. Family before all else.

  24. Joanne Viola says:

    Beautiful post. So very true. It is a good reminder, with anyone in our lives, that when we are with them to be fully there. Thank you for sharing this today. I visited from Soli Deo Gloria.
    Blessings,
    Joanne

  25. momstheword says:

    Oh I can totally relate to this! Recently my husband said something to me but I was focused on what I was doing and even though I answered him, I really wasn’t paying attention! So I quickly forgot what it was he said and had to ask him to repeat it.

    Whenever my youngest leaves he always comes to kiss me goodbye (my oldest usually just hollers “bye” as he runs out the door lately, lol!). I always try to make sure that I am focused intentionally on what he’s saying and giving him a big hug as he goes out the door, because who knows if I’ll see him again.

    Also, I DO want to make the most of this season of life because my oldest is getting married in the fall and my youngest won’t be living here forever either. Thanks for linking up to the “Making Your Home Sing Monday” linky party today! :)

    • womenabiding says:

      What great examples you’ve given that I for one can relate to! Love your perspective… Blessings and have loved seeing you here at Women Abiding again :-).

  26. Nikki says:

    It’s true what you say. Many times parents are present (at home), but not PRESENT. Our children need us to be supportive and attentive. These days with cell phones and the Internet, that may be a struggle for some.

  27. Jann Olson says:

    Such a good topic. It’s so easy for young mothers to let all of the electronic stuff be a built in entertainer for children now days. We loved playing games with our children when they were young and still do it now and then. Sometimes just shutting things off, even just for hubby and I and taking time to communicate is all we need to do! Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

    • womenabiding says:

      Great advice, Jann, and thank you for your wisdom! It’s always a blessing to shut technology off for a while, and be ‘all there’ with those we love… Blessings to you!

  28. Tati says:

    The physical presence of us mothers, I agree. How can the kids be trained up in the way that they should go, if we are not there? Thanks for the encouragement. Stopping by from Gratituesday.

  29. That’s the truth! The biggest thing that keeps me from being present for my family is the time I spend on this computer. Need to do something about that for sure.

    Thanks so much for linking up with my Homemaking Party. Hope you have a great week!

    Blessings,
    Mrs. Sarah Coller

    • womenabiding says:

      Same here, dear Sarah! It’s a constant struggle, but it is possible to minimise our computer time… I’m still working on it myself, but I know that our families are worth it! Thank you SO much for sharing so humbly sweet friend… xx

  30. Anita says:

    Thank you for your post Tehila. Even though I haven’t been blessed with motherhood, I can still see how we can all apply your truth that whatever God gives to us, we need to give our best, to be fully present. For what He gives us, is truly a gift to treasure. Blessings my friend. x

  31. This is powerful, Tehila, because I can see this in so many different areas. This could be true for mothers, fathers, bosses, employees, leaders, teachers – anything!

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