Turning the Other Cheek In Your Marriage: 3 Surefire Strategies
The other day, my hubby and I were having a ‘conversation’ 🙂 and instead of reacting to something he said (I honestly can’t even remember what it was), I decided to respond kindly and lovingly. I later realized that I had accidentally ‘turned the other cheek.’
If there is one concept that goes headlong against human nature, it’s turning the other cheek. When you think about it, you may even struggle to find a practical definition for it. Ironically, Jesus both exemplified and taught that we need to practice this as a way of living. Adopting this counter cultural attitude could potentially be the greatest source of change in your marriage. The hard part is that it has to start with you!
You see beloved friend, it is only a matter of time before your husband either hurts, offends, insults, or is harsh with you. Oh sure, it may be unintentional, in fact, I bet I can come up with some statistic. How about 83% of the times that husbands in the Western World offend their wives is not intentionally to cause them harm, hassle, or headaches? That fabricated stat may actually be closer to the truth than we would like to believe. So in light of this probability, why not ready yourself to purposefully and gently turn the other cheek.
Let’s equip ourselves right now with 3 cheek-turning strategies, shall we? 🙂
Strategy Number 1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1Boy, if you get this one down, you’ve almost conquered the battle, sister!
Unfortunately, it’s one of those ‘easier said than done’ instructions in the Bible. So why not take it on a one-by-one basis. Purpose to give a gentle response the next time you’re confronted with the very tone, blame-shifting, or comment that would usually send you flying off the handle, or at the very least provoke some snarl and slack.
And by the way, we’re talking genuinely gentle. Not a sarcastic kick-your-hubby-where-it-hurts-in-a-soft-spoken-voice gentle! We’re talking coming in the complete opposite spirit (and most likely shocking your man to the point of sheer amazement!)
Once you’ve responded gently, you just stand back and watch that wrath turning 180 degrees and heading into thin air. Of course it may take a few shots of the gentle-tactic to turn that wrath away, but keep at it… turning that other cheek. I guarantee God’s Word will prove true, as it always does!
Strategy Number 2
The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
Exodus 14:14Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.
Proverbs 11:12Yup, you guessed, it. Sometimes there is just a time to be quiet. As wise ol’ King Solomon put it, there is “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:7b)
If you are less of a passive aggressive kind of person, and more (like yours truly) one who says what comes to mind, then this will be a challenge to you.
Turning the other cheek in your marriage entails:
- Allowing your husband to have his say, without interrupting with your ‘right’ point of you
- Letting the dust settle before you throw in your two cents
- Being silently respectful instead of openly retaliating
- Remaining admirably quiet instead of defiantly questioning, and
- Relinquishing your right to speak with the honour of surrender
Temporarily, that is, until the law of kindness returns to your heart and will be reflected on your tongue.
Once again, choosing to take on the counsel of God’s Word in place of lashing out at your husband will reap benefits and rewards worth sacrificing for.
Strategy Number 3
Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time…
1 Peter 5:6Lastly, but certainly not leastly (that should definitely become a dictionary approved word! :-)), we find our final strategy in these piercing words by Peter.
The one way you can humble yourself is to be holy rather than being right in each marital spat that you have. Tweet that.
Consider that your other half
May actually be correct in his assumption
Wiser than you in his perception, or more
Discerning at assessing the big picture more clearly than you do at this moment.
It is possible (O.K., highly unlikely, but possible! 🙂 ).
And in order for you to reach the point of holy humility under the mighty hand of God, you may simply have to keep in mind that you don’t have all the answers, and that maybe, just maybe, God has placed your hubby in your life to place protective boundaries and steer certain paths in the right direction. And all you need to do, is let him, rather than coming at him with all you’ve got and opposing him.
Admitting that he may have a point, and saying that you want to understand his point, and deciding to seriously consider his point (no matter how small or great the matter), is you graduating from Humility Class 101!
Be warned, my dear friend, that humility was not considered a virtue by the ancient world, any more than it is today1. Sadly, it goes against the grain, and is a spiritual muscle that needs to be worked to develop.
Don’t miss that last little promise in 1 Peter 5:6–
“that He may exalt you in due time.”
God will lift up the suffering, submissive believer in His wisely appointed time2. And no, that doesn’t mean that you rant under your breath, “You just wait and see that I will be exalted, that your plan will fail, and you will lie in the ashes, Joe, while God proves that my way is the right way!” None of that, my sis… See Strategies number 1 and 2 if this is where you’re landing up.
This is yet another test of your faith in God, where you trust in His sovereignty over all matters.
Even if you don’t trust your husband in certain situations, you can trust in the Faithful, Loving, and Working-all-things-together for good God that you serve.
Your part is to follow the principles that He has wisely laid out in His Word for you to follow. The rest is up to Him. He is Perfect!
So, there you have it, dear wifie! 3 strategies for turning the other cheek in your marriage.
Try it, and let me know how your marriage improves, and how you revived your husband each time when he passed out after your unexpected and holy moves! 🙂 I need advice to revive mine from time to time!
Which of these biblical principles have you put into practice in your marriage. Any additional strategies you can share with the rest of us other wannabee cheek-turners?
1,2 MacArthur Study Bible New King James Version Photo credit: Nina Matthews Photography via photopin ccLike reading this post?
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