The Minimalist Guide to Being a Thankful Wife

I recently returned from a ladies weekend retreat. My kind and serving husband agreed instantly and wholeheartedly to stay at home with our children. For Two nights. Three days.

God graciously granted me a wonderful time of fun, food, and fellowship! I learned, laughed, and lingered. Such a treat.

www.womenabiding.com I realize that when I am given time off away from home, there is something that I need to do before I head back hurriedly into daily life. I need to stop and purposefully thank my husband for his part in it all. In fact, I need to thank my husband a whole lot more.

Why do you need to thank your husband?

As a wife, you are called to respect your husband (Ephesians 5:33). Respect covers several fields. When you honour, submit to, and give preference to your husband, you show him respect.

And…

Humbly placing yourself before him with an attitude of gratitude for all he does and means to you, is no less a part of the calling to respect your husband.

What if he doesn’t deserve to be thanked?

This does not mean admitting (falsely) that your husband is perfect or faultless. Mine sure isn’t (he even asked me to put that in there – to which I quickly and unhesitatingly obliged :-)). However, even if you have to split hairs and think really hard, I know that you can find reasons to thank your man, and to thank God for your man!

After all, as was once anonymously said, “A husband is one who stands by you in troubles you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t married him.” (Tweet that)

Sneak peak into my personal thanking

So, here goes… my weekend away, “Thank you, Honey” list (you can listen in if you like :-)):

  • Thank you, Honey, for helping me pack, carrying my belongings to the car for me, and reminding me to take essentials that I would otherwise have forgotten.
  • Thank you, Honey, for being willing to carry the weight and hold the fort while I relax.
  • Thank you, Honey, for feeding, playing with, investing in, and loving our children while I was away.
  • Thank you, Honey, for sending me loving and beautiful text messages to affirm your support and love for me several times each day.
  • Thank you, Honey, for having the house (pretty) clean and tidy when I returned :-).
  • Thank you, Honey, for being eager to hear all about my weekend and suffering silently while I sang you encores of Sound of Music tunes.

I truly believe, that if you stopped to think of reasons for which you could thank your husband, you would come up with a longer list than you anticipated.

What if it’s easier said than done?

If you find it hard to get started, why not think of one incident or theme that you can spring off of? For example, thank him for specific things he does around the house, for his efforts to provide for your family, or for the way he has improved over the past months in certain areas.

Some practical guidelines that may help:

  • Be specific – go into as much detail as possible.
  • Be genuine – avoid sarcasm, or the temptation to use this exercise as a “dig”
  • Be sincere – only thank him for the areas/points that you appreciate from your heart.
  • Be brief – our husbands aren’t usually like our girlfriends who enjoy pages and pages of dramatic literature.

I invite you to write 5 short sentences in a “Thank you, Honey” list of your own and place it on your hubby’s pillow for him to unexpectedly find.

Share one or two with me below. I’d love a sneak peak into your grateful heart for the man God gave you.

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Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.
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About womenabiding

Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.
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77 Responses to The Minimalist Guide to Being a Thankful Wife

  1. Marla says:

    That was a wonderful post!!! I was just encouraging a friend in something similar last week. Thank you Tehila!!

    One thing on my list was: Thank you, Honey for teaching the children. – My husband is a genius and he does more of the homeschooling than I do and I am truly thankful for this!!

    • womenabiding says:

      That’s wonderful, Marla! What a huge help it must be to have such a help with the children’s schooling, not to mention a genius in the house! 🙂 Really appreciate you sharing… Love and blessings to you!

  2. As a husband, I can absolutely attest to how great it feels to have a thankful wife. We do all of that stuff because we love her, and it’s hurtful if she acts like she doesn’t even notice.

    • womenabiding says:

      Thank you so much for mentioning that, Loren! It is invaluable to hear the perspective of a man, and motivates me and I’m sure many readers, to indeed be thankful and appreciative wives! God bless you as you strive to be a holy husband…

  3. Such a great post – thank YOU for the gentle reminder to thank my fantastic Hubs more than I do. 🙂 Claire

  4. Melissa says:

    New follower from the Hump Day Link Up! Can’t wait to get to know you, check out my blog and follow back if you’d like 🙂
    The Real McCoy(s)

  5. Dianna says:

    Thank you for this! Would it be going to far to thank my husband for always thanking me for what I do? 😉

  6. Tara says:

    Thank you for a wonderful post, I really enjoyed reading it 🙂 I am working very hard at being more thankful and praising my husband and truthfully he is loving it. Have a blessed day. Tara

    • womenabiding says:

      Yes! It’s really a do unto your husband, what you would want him to do to you! Who on this earth doesn’t love being appreciated and thanked for even the tiniest things… Thank you so much for sharing, and blessings to you and your precious family…

  7. Marty says:

    I am not even sure where to start to thank my sweet husband…his patience, the way he helps me keep my sanity, the bowl of vanilla ice cream each night…oh, wait those last two might just be the same 🙂 I am blessed beyond measure with an amazing husband and these are good words to remind me not to take that for granted.
    Blessing to you and your home!

    • womenabiding says:

      You’re funny! My heart absolutely delights to hear of your thankful attitude and heart for your God-given husband. I have no doubt that your hubby feels the exact same way about you, Marty! May God continue to bless you both as you abide in His Word! Thanks for this encouragement!

  8. Meredith says:

    This is fantastic. Such excellent reminders of how we are called to love and be grateful for our husbands. Thanks for sharing this and I’m so glad you got to have this time away. Recently just found you on FB and Twitter, but I’m visiting today through the Mommy Brain–and so glad to be!

    • womenabiding says:

      Sometimes it’s the simple reminders that stick with us. It’s not rocket science to figure out that just a little note of thanks will make our husbands’ day. And yes, the time away was lovely. We all need it once in a while :-).. Thanks so much, Meredith, and may the Lord bless you richly!

  9. Sarah C. says:

    Love it! Well said.

  10. Visiting from today’s linkup. This is a great challenge! Thanks for sharing it!

  11. Lovely finding you today! I enjoyed your post as I showed me some things I need to consider on giving thanks to my husband for the gracious acts he commits every day. Thank you 🙂

  12. This was a wonderful post. I have a great husband who goes above and beyond and I need to remember how lucky I am and to tell him how much I appreciate him.

    • womenabiding says:

      God has clearly blessed you richly, Lori Ann! Really appreciate your comment. It brings glory to God when we are so thankful for the man He gave us. Blessings to you..

  13. Janis Cox says:

    HI,
    I am linking in tonight. You are right on – with thanking your husband. Mine always fills up the cupboard with water bottles for me. I wrote a little note today: “You fill me up, thank you.”
    Blessings,
    Janis

  14. Thanks so much for a great reminder that although my husband annoys me daily (hourly?) sometimes, that I do owe him my thanks, for so much. For allowing me to quit my job to stay at home with my developmentally delayed son. For bringing me humor when I need it. For loving me.

    • womenabiding says:

      🙂 I had to smile when I read your comment, Kristi! That’s what I call ‘raw honesty!’I love the point you make that even when our husbands irritate us of upset us, we can always find things, even general reasons, to be thankful for them and to focus on. You’ve got a great attitude! God bless you!

  15. Mia says:

    Hi dear One
    I am sooo…. glad I found this post at Charlotte’s for I suffer from Fm/ME and have to take a good look what my dear Hubbie does for me day after day when I am not able to do many things I used to do in the past. He is truly a gift from Pappa God!
    Thanks for reminding us.
    Much love
    Mia

    • womenabiding says:

      Thank you so much, Mia, for sharing such a personal testimony. Our husbands’ true faithfulness and commitment to us, their wives, are often magnified when they serve us in times of our own weakness. You have blessed me today! In His love…

  16. Jennifer says:

    Respect for my husband is so important and thanking him does show him I appreciate what he does. One thing I’m thankful for is the attention that he gives to our children.
    Thanks for linking up with Scripture & A Snapshot.

    • womenabiding says:

      That’s wonderful, Jennifer! When the Lord blesses us with a man who is not only a loving husband, but also a wonderful father, we are truly doubly blessed! I was so glad to hear from you.. Thanks for coming over :-).

  17. Charlotte says:

    Wonderful advice. It is so important for our spouses to know that we appreciate them and you gave some good examples of ways to do that. Thank you and I’m glad you discovered Spiritual Sundays and shared with us there.
    Blessings,
    Charlotte

  18. Ruth says:

    Thank you. this has really made me think!

  19. Perfect! I’m going away to a week long conference in a few weeks and my husband has been encouraging me to go despite my reservations about leaving our three kids with him for that long. Don’t get me wrong, he’s an AWESOME father! I just feel bad that he’ll be doing so much extra work! But I think it’s amazing that he’s encouraging me so strongly and supporting me in my pursuit of ministry and I will be sure to thank him. Thanks for this reminder!

    • womenabiding says:

      That’s truly wonderful, Elizabeth! Sounds like you’ve got yourself a great guy there 😉 And obviously he’s got a wonderful wifie too! You are a gem for stopping by! Thank you!

  20. kendra says:

    Really glad you linked this up at Matrimonial Mondays. Such a great post and I like the tweet as well. We do tend to take our men for granted and even if they act like its silly or no big deal like my man, I know they seriously eat it up. 🙂

    • womenabiding says:

      Absolutely agree, Kendra! Our men have hearts too, and need to know that they are appreciated and loved just as much as women do. Often they like that appreciation in different ways, but it’s important for our marriages that they are not taken for granted, as you so wisely mentioned. God bless you!

  21. Nancy says:

    enjoyed this post — visiting from Thursday Favorite Things. 🙂

  22. Pinky says:

    My hsband is struggling with an issue right now but this made me realize that I should thank him for TRYING. he is doing the best he can and I need to validate that. We have been married for 45 years!!!!!!!!!

    • womenabiding says:

      I love your honesty and openness! Yes! Thanking our husbands for TRYING to change, or for TRYING to please us, goes such a long way. It shows them that we notice… and we appreciate. I take my hat off to you! We’re heading to 14 years next month… Still got a long way to go together to catch up to you! 🙂

  23. Diane says:

    Visiting from Thursday Favorite Things…thank you for the post. Great reminders! 🙂 Blessings!

  24. Anita says:

    I am truly thankful for my husband, my best friend. I am thankful for his care and the love he shows me everyday 🙂

  25. Sylvia says:

    Well, you seem to have gotten more than a few women’s attention! Thank you for reminding us to remember to thank our husbands. In the hustle and bustle of a busy day homeschooling/caring for special needs kids and everything else sometimes it’s hard to remember our husbands!

    • womenabiding says:

      So true, Sylvia. They need our encouragement, support, affection and gratitude so much. I for one, have found myself overlooking my husband many a time while I’ve devoted so much to my children. I’ve learned to make my husband a priority, and to express my thankfulness to him whenever I notice something worthy of praise, or just because :-)… Blessings to you.

  26. So sweet of your husband!!! Amen to it all. It’s so true. My husband does so much for me and our family. I try to thank him daily.

  27. Kathleen says:

    I am so blessed with an AMAZING husband and I tell him so – very often in fact. He’s my hero, my friend, my lover, my soulmate and so much more. God has been good to us 🙂 Have a wonderful weekend!

    • womenabiding says:

      What an absolute joy to hear this, Kathleen. Praise the Lord! You are I’m sure an example to many who struggle in their marriage. Blessed indeed! <3

  28. Very good point! Sometimes women forget to be as kind to their husband as they would by nature be to a stranger. Great Reminder!

    Thanks for linking up with Marriage Moment @ Great Peace Academy. It is a weekly link up. I would love for you to stop by every Monday and link up, but it remains open for a week.

  29. Pamela says:

    Excellent encouragement. One thing I try to thank my husband for is cleaning the snow off the car. On those cold mornings I’m always thankful I’m the wife!

  30. You know what’s so fascinating? That something so simple is what so many forget to do in marriage. I am so grateful for my husband and can’t help but to thank him regularly.

  31. Christy Joy says:

    Thank you goes a long way and can easily get lost a “me” centered world. Thank you for reminding me to keep it all in perspective. So glad you’re linked up!

    Christy Joy
    #happywivesclub

  32. laura says:

    It always opens my eyes when I see how thankfulness makes a heart more tender. These are wise words. Thank you.

  33. What a superb post. As a Christian psychologist, I can tell you how important your message is. I’m blessed with an amazing husband and I express a lot of gratitude, but I can always do more! 🙂

  34. Jessica says:

    Thanks! I am blessed to have found your website through tolovehonorandvacuum and oh what a blessing reading many of your articles have been here! Thank you! I’m writing you from the Amazon Jungle where we have just recently been able to set up internet and it has been a blessing to me to get refocused on Godly and Biblical Ways of thinking amidst the lost we are seeking to reach here!
    Keep pressing on for our Savior and thank you for your ministry to me tonight!
    And for my Hubby! The enemy is after our men to destroy and discourage them! YES we do need to and have the privilege to encourage them! I’m so thankful that my Husband seeks to walk in the Spirit each day and to GO and tell others the Gospel! And I love when he is home and is able to make our girls giggle!

  35. Carolyn says:

    Such a great reminder! My hubby took care of me yesterday when I had a bad head cold. Great reminder to say think you!

  36. True words here, and important, too. We fall all too easily into “entitlement” mode with our husbands. So thankful for my good and patient guy of 25 years. I love this reminder to let him know how thankful I am for him!

  37. Tai East says:

    Wonderful post, Tehila! Thanks so much for sharing such practical and GODLY wisdom! GOD bless you, beautiful friend! 🙂

  38. This was such a sweet post!

    I remember when we were seeing a counselor with my son when he was little and we were trying to manage his severe ADHD, she told us to praise him often; that praise would go a long way. At the time, the severity of my son’s ADHD was such that I verbalized it was hard to find ways to praise him. The counselor responded, “Well then praise his breathing.” To which I replied, “I can’t, he has asthma!” We were trying to have a sense of humor in a difficult situation. But it certainly showed itself to be an excellent motivator that spoke to my son’s heart.

    I never thought of doing that in the instance of my husband. Like in any marriage, some days are hard to find something to praise. I’m sure my husband would feel the same way about me!

    I am thankful for a husband who willingly accompanies me to doctor’s appointments because he knows I need the extra support. (I have white coat syndrome.)

    I am thankful for a husband who loves me unconditionally.

    Thanks for “assigning” this great exercise! Much appreciated!

    • womenabiding says:

      Oh your honesty is sooooo admirable, and hard to come by nowadays. I loved it, Karen! Thank you for relating this post to the advice that your son’s counsellor gave you. It is very relevant to all of our relationships I believe, and to marriage to, of course. I like the way you put “white coat syndrome” 🙂 Never heard it put like that before 🙂 Praise the Lord for the blessing of such a wonderful and supporting husband. God is so good!!! Love and hugs xoxo

  39. Jann Olson says:

    Great post! A thankful wife is a happy wife. Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

  40. Mary Hill says:

    My husband is so helpful around the house and he works hard to keep our finances in order. It is easy to find things to be thankful for with him. I am indeed one blessed momma. Thanks for sharing on Literacy Musing Mondays.

  41. I’m so glad you took the time to write this. Our husbands need our words of affirmation and encouragement, and thanking them goes a long way in doing just that! Thanks for sharing this at the 100 Happy Days linkup party. It’s an honor to have you there. 🙂

    • womenabiding says:

      Thank you, lovely Alison! Sometimes we can think that men are tough and emotionless and don’t need our kindness and encouragement, but nothing could be further from the truth. I loved having you stop by Women Abiding… xoxo

  42. Elena says:

    I love the practical tips you listed! My husband has told me many times how encouraged he feels when I thank him or mention something great that he has done, which helps me continue to be intentional about thanking him in different ways. Great post!

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