Do You Talk About Your Children The Way The World Does?

Have you ever thought about the way you talk about your children? The world’s lingo, once you stop to think about it, is so degrading of these precious, young ones.  Often, as a believer, you and I can fall into the same way of expression. We simply do not give a second thought to the way we refer to our children, and God must cringe when He hears the words we use!

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Do You Talk About Your Children The Way The World Does?

These are the actions I have caught myself doing to my children on a weekly basis (try to spot the horrific lingo pattern):

I drop my children at their swimming lessons

I throw my children in the car

I stick my children in front of a DVD

I chuck my children at a friend’s house

I dump my children somewhere while I run some errands

And worse of all, I allow them to overhear me using this terminology while I talk to others about them!

My dear friend, this should not be!

Do You See Your Children The Way the World Sees them?

In the world’s eyes, children are seen as a burden. They are perceived as a hindrance to being able to “do whatever you want.” Viewed as objects that should be seen and not heard.

Let me ask you something… what would you do with a stone?

I’ll tell you what…

You would drop it.

You would throw it.

You would stick it various places.

You would chuck it.

You would dump it.

I am repenting before my Lord and Saviour, who has bestowed upon me the riches of parenthood. He has granted me the privilege of raising the future generation; of honing vessels who will eternally glorify the King of Kings. While I have spoken about them with such thoughtlessness and disrespect.

What You Can Change As a Godly Parent?

If you, too, have been guilty of speaking of your children as though they were useless, inanimate, worthless stones, perhaps together we can begin to change our ways. And our words.

I dare suggest that once you start to speak of your children with words and phrases that reflect their worth, the result will be that their significance and value will skyrocket in your own mind and heart too.

Do-you-talk-about-your-children-the-way-the-world-does Photo credit: Holtsman via photopin cc

Your children, my beloved, are treasures to be cherished, nourished, and loved. What a witness it would be if we, as believers, stood out and apart from the world like sore thumbs in the way we spoke about our little ones. (tweet)

The Word of God so wisely puts it in John 15:19:

If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

As a believer you are called to be different. The world will hate you. They will not understand why your talk and your walk are different. But God will be pleased with you. And He is the one that counts!

May your words, and mine, in our children’s presence and absence, reflect the true value of who they are to us, and to their Maker. (tweet)

Have you been guilty of talking about your children the way the world does? What are some ways you will replace the “acceptable” lingo with Godly terms?

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Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.
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About womenabiding

Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.
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51 Responses to Do You Talk About Your Children The Way The World Does?

  1. Rhoda says:

    Don’t have any children yet 🙂
    I liked the points you made though, and I can remember them for the future. Also I can apply them to what I say to my siblings (that will have to wait for tomorrow though, because they’re in bed, like I should be !)
    xxx

  2. Jen says:

    This post made me smile, cringe, repent, and rejoice all at the same time! I have never thought words like, “drop” “throw” “dump” were so degrading. But, oh how they seem to strike me now. I so agree friend, let’s lift up, encourage, and affirm our children in the things of God & watch our words as closely guarded possessions used to either bring life or death! Great post! Such an adorable little guy too! 🙂

    • womenabiding says:

      Jen, I always LOVE your comments! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I have since thought of another word I say that degrades my children. It is such an acceptable word, that it’s almost crazy to suggest it’s not the most God-honouring to our little ones, and that’s when we call our children “kids.” Kids are baby goats, and not to get too carried away, but I think that using the word “children” more in our society rather than “kids” would also make a difference in our perception of them… What do you think?

      Sending you love and blessings my sweet blogging friend…

  3. Pamela says:

    In counseling young mothers, I always suggest they allow their children to overhear praise of them. It’s amazing what that will do in helping your child feel appreciated and loved. Andrew picked up the toys without me asking him to. Carli washed the dishes. Ethan has a heart for God…

    • womenabiding says:

      Oh, what a wonderful point you’ve made, Pamela! Why didn’t I think to mention that?! I love seeing the look for joy on my children’s faces when I speak well of them to others, even when it’s just to my husband… I’m going to be so much more aware of doing this regularly. You’re a blessing!!! Thank you for your invaluable comment 🙂

  4. Tauna says:

    This has never occurred to me! I’ll be examining my words over the next few days to see if this worldly attitude is reflected in my speech. I think I’m sometimes guilty of having that attitude in other ways too – the sigh when they ask yet another question, for example. I’ll turn this all over in my mind. Thanks!

  5. Lynn says:

    WOW.. What an eye opener. Just recently I’ve been trying to pay closer attention to how I address my kids. They aren’t young anymore. One is an adult, one a teenager and one almost a teenager and they really pay attention to what I say to them and they voice their opinions freely on how I talk. Seeing your post helped me realize that I have more work to do but I’m on the right track. thanks for sharing it.. I saw your post over at Tackle it Tuesday at 5minutesformom…

    • womenabiding says:

      WOW Lynn… I’m impressed! It’s not many people who think to pay attention to how they address their children. Proud of you! You’re a real example and inspiration. God bless you, dear one!

  6. Rhoda says:

    To me, ‘children’ sounds so different from ‘kids’, and has some quite different ideas attached to it. I’d hate to be called a ‘kid’, but in some circumstances, I’m happy to be still considered a ‘child’. And as a ‘child’, I’m in a position to represent the views of ‘children’ and say “Yes, that’s who we are and appreciate being referred to as – children!”
    I can’t remember ever being ‘chucked’, ‘stuck’, ‘dropped’, ‘thrown’, or ‘dumped’ – thanks Mum 🙂
    And thank-you, Mrs Gonen, for not using the dreaded word ‘kids’ in your post!
    -Did I get a little carried away here?- 🙂

    • womenabiding says:

      Thank you for your wonderful insights, Miss Rhoda! I’m glad you never went through those actions you mentioned. You certainly would look more squashed, bruised, disoriented and dirty if you had! Instead you are the epitomy of loveliness! 🙂 Blessings to you dear, dear, dear, dear one!

  7. Thanks for linking this up at beSimplyBetter. No matter how much I try I feel like I could always treat my sweet girl better. Each day is a new day, and we get to try it again:)

  8. Jelli says:

    I have been a little more aware lately of the way I speak about both my husband and my little girl in front of them and to others. You really got me with the child-stone comparison. I didn’t even see that one coming. As always, you’ve left me with another gem of wisdom for the week. I’m always so blessed to learn from what you write here, really!

  9. This is so good. Yes. We need to be different from the world in everything we do, including parenting.

  10. Jessica says:

    What an eye opener! You’re right! I will admit I am guilty of this sometimes. We have always been told to choose our words wisely. This is so true in this instance! Thank you so much for this. I found your link on the Momy Brain Mixer 🙂

    Jessica
    The Wondering Brain

  11. Betty Taylor says:

    I really don’t think I ever do that! I don’t know if that is due to being a much older parent. I treasure my son and he tells me he loves me every time he leaves the house and when he goes to bed each night. He is 18 and he tells me he loves me when he is with his friends and he doesn’t seem to even think about it. My older children are in their late 30’s and 40. I adore all of them, and am extremely close to all of them, but I believe I have been a much different parent with my youngest son.

    I am visiting with DYWW blog hop. I followed you on Pinterest!

    http://agutandabutt.blogspot.com/

  12. Alison says:

    Guilty as charged 🙁

  13. Kathleen says:

    I think for young mothers it would be a good idea to give them ideas of what to say. Some words are said out of habit or learned behavior – What there parents said to them.

    I drop my children at their swimming lessons (I took…)

    I throw my children in the car (I placed….)

    I stick my children in front of a DVD (I let my angels watch a dvd…)

    I chuck my children at a friend’s house (My friend babysat…)

    I dump my children somewhere while I run some errands (My friend watched my blessings…)

    Have a wonderful weekend!

  14. This is such a great example of how your thoughts and the words you speak can have a tremendous effect on how you feel about a given subject. I think for many they may not consciously view their kids as a burden, but this type of language can breed some insidious and deep heart attitudes. But switching that language around can throw the effect in the opposite direction!

  15. Lisa Nelson says:

    It’s funny, but I don’t say any of those things. I homeschool my children. I wear my baby close to me in the sling. I carry him all the time.

    It’s this society of ours that say we should push our children away from us. Look at where it’s gotten us. Really. People send their kids to school at 2 and 3 years old. Why? They should be home bonding with their parents. Parents don’t want anything to do with them. They are an annoying and in the way.

    I would like to see our society change their view – and then notice the change in our children.

    Our children need to be nutured and held close for as long as possible.

    It really is sad, but thanks for this post! I am enjoying the Friday link-up at Living and Learning the New Normal. Very nice and thoughtful posts!

  16. Beth says:

    Very thought-provoking, Tehila. I’ve never thought of it this way before, but I agree that the words we use have a huge impact on our children. I was just thinking the other day about the labels parents often put on their children–both good and bad–that can have a lasting impact. I was thinking about how my mother ascribed a specific positive label to me and about me. To this day it has defined me–in a good way. Thanks so much for this very important challenge, and for linking it up to Wedded Wed, my friend!

  17. While I am not (yet!) a mommy (or even a wife) I agree with what you’ve said in this post!! I’m a SAH Daughter right now, as opposed to being a SAH Wife, so my current “privilege” is not that of “raising the future generation; of honing vessels who will eternally glorify” God. No. Right now my job is to feed my father’s flock—invest in the lives of my siblings 😀 But this post can easily be shifted to apply to speaking to and of my them 😀 . In regards as to how we speak to our children/brothers and sisters, one thing a very wise gentleman at our church has said before that really stuck out in my mind was this: “about fifty years ago, you never heard people refer to their brothers and sisters as “siblings”—they would call them their ‘brother’ or ‘sister’.” That word “sibling” didn’t come into use until later. It’s like, they lost affection so instead of a “little sister” or an “older brother”, it was “oh yeah… they’re just my annoying younger siblings. Ignore them and maybe they’ll go away.” 🙁 I notice hearing it more now and don’t like when I catch myself saying it anymore either. Lol. It’s like with your children. If you care, if there’s love behind what you’re saying, it comes out differently. 🙂

  18. Sylvia says:

    Thanks for linking up at http://faithfulmomof9.com again! We do need to be so careful how we talk to and speak about our children. We can speak edifying words of life or devastating words of death.

  19. Years ago I read a book called, ‘Burdens or Blessings’ which basically talked about our attitude in having children. Those expressions are just how we phrase those actions (dropping our children off, etc.) and you are right, we use them without even thinking about what the word actually means. Maybe this attitude starts when our children are little and we ‘think’ they don’t understand what we say. Maybe we had a hard day and we want some encouragement or advice. We (and I) can be careless because our children overhear us talking about them.That can be devastating for them to overhear.

    I have one more thought. Mothers sometimes blog or post to Facebook extensively on the negative things their children do. When children are little they aren’t aware of it but as they get older this just might harm the parent/child relationship.

    You definitly have made me more aware of how I talk about my children and I will be listening to how I am tlking about the individuals God has pkaced in my life.

  20. Hazel Moon says:

    Positive Words of grace are so very important. We catch ourselves saying things even over our selves that ought not be said, “Let us go to the poor house” ” I am dieing to do this or that.” “Take Care” when Jesus says to cast our care – – – Thank you for sharing your lovely rncouraging words with us at “Tell Me a Story.”

  21. Anne Payne says:

    Excellent reminder to be careful with our tongue. Our attitudes are often revealed in our words. Have a blessed Sabbath!

  22. Sharon O says:

    Good advise and thoughts shared.

  23. Melissa says:

    Thanks for this post! We need to be so careful of how we talk to and treat our children and this is such a good reminder of it!

  24. momstheword says:

    Wonderful post! I have been guilty of the same thing, my friend. Sometimes I have been amazed at the way moms talk about their children IN FRONT of their children. It’s like they forget their child is right there.

    I try to very quickly change the subject the minute I see it going that direction and quietly remind mommy that little ears are listening in. But as you pointed out, we often just do it without thinking.

    Also, just a reminder that “Making Your Home Sing Monday” linky party is live and ready for your posts!

  25. Janis Cox says:

    Beautifully written and so true. Listen to yourself and see if your words are godly. Let’s us build up not tear down.
    Blessings,
    Janis http://www.janiscox.com

  26. Miriam says:

    Good food for thought. I actually get more upset by how people talk about their children in their hearing – she’s being such a pain, he’s a real brat…. that stuff. Those are the kind of phrases that children notice even if you aren’t saying it to them.

    • womenabiding says:

      Great point, Miriam! Those are the more obviously wrong and hurtful things to say, and always pierce me to the heart when I hear words like that being thrown around by parents. So sad… thank you for adding that invaluable comment!

  27. Tricia says:

    I have to admit I never really thought about the way I used words like that before, but now that I’ve read this I can totally see myself (and my kids) with these as usual words in my vocabulary. I’m so thankful I found your blog today!

    • womenabiding says:

      Hi Tricia! I’m so pleased that this post has provided food for thought… Until I actually became conscious of these phrases, I never gave it a thought either… crazy! 🙂

  28. I had never thought of this before! What a great post and thanks for linking up with us for Mommy Moments!
    TheNotQuiteMilitaryWife.blogspot.com

  29. Great reminders. I’m making an effort to be different from the world. Even simply being a homeschooling family, I feel like I’m being contra-culture. I’ve never even given those words a second thought, but now that you mentioned them, you got me thinking. Yes, I do use some of those words on a regular basis so I’m definitely guilty of that. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. Visiting from Home Educator Mom. Thank you for linking up!

    • womenabiding says:

      Thanks Betty! Yes, I think as believers, we probably don’t even realize how different we are from the world, so watching our words is just another way to stand out and be a light! Thanks so much for your great comment!

  30. Jann Olson says:

    My sweet mother was the best example of how to talk to your children. Often she made me blushed because to hear her talk I was the most amazing child ever. Especially when she was older. If we ran into a friend she would just brag about you to them. I have tried to learn from her example. I have always believed that if you tell your children they’re not important enough, they will become to believe it! Thanks for sharing another great topic with SYC. We all need to stop and listen to ourselves every now and then. Room for improvement on my part I’m sure!
    hugs,
    Jann

    • womenabiding says:

      Thank you so much for that Jann! It really inspires me to keep on being aware of the way I talk to and about my children when I hear the testimony of a woman who remembers their own mother’s great example. You are a darling! Thank you!!!

  31. Heather says:

    Hello Tehila!!!
    First, thank you SO MUCH for linking up with the Welcoming House Blog! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post as it caused not only a little introspective thought about the way my kids receive my words or encouragement or derision, but also how often I hear this spoken of my piano kids from their parents each week. Thank you for putting it so directly and helping more folks understand how powerful words are!
    I have decided to feature this post as my winning post for Welcoming Wednesday #13.
    Thank you so much for entering each week and I hope to see you keep coming back and posting.
    Blessings to you,
    Heather @ The Welcoming House

    • womenabiding says:

      WOW! Heather!!! Thank you so much for your encouragement and support regarding this post. I’m glad it resonated with you, and I hope God will use these meagre words to lead many to treasure their children in the way they speak. Soooooo excited to be featured on your blog! EEEEEEEEK!!! 🙂

  32. Emily says:

    I grew up in a family where language was (in the ideal, at least) treated as a powerful tool capable of molding worldview. Having often been told that I take words and their underpinnings too seriously, I have learned to some degree that there is a time to speak and a time to be silent about my convictions. As a mother and foster mother, though, I often find myself explaining my word choices to children and feeling quietly confident that this is indeed a tool which deserves to be treated with
    respect, since these children deserve an example of respect in how my husband and I communicate with those around us. We are missionaries in a culture where the language allows children and anyone significantly younger or of “lower” status than the speaker to be addressed as “it” rather than “you/he/she”. I have had so many conversations with people here about the implications of this word choice and why I do not feel comfortable using it… The mind must be renewed for the transformation to begin! I am thankful for the seeds of intentional communication that my parents chose to plant in me.

    • womenabiding says:

      Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me, Emily. I love the way you are advocating for the right way to use our words, especially in front of, and to, our children. God bless you and strengthen you as you continue in His righteousness xxx

  33. semprot igo says:

    This has never occurred to me! I’ll be examining my words over the next few days to see if this worldly attitude is reflected in my speech. ….
    pengertian pers

  34. Thank you for reminding us what we do without thinking. Just calls our children “kids” means their goats. Let us lift our children up and be strong in the Lord. Coming to you from Sunday Stillness. ~Chris~

    • womenabiding says:

      Thanks for that, Chris! I have long been calling my ‘kids’ children. It was a hard habit to break, but I was determined to do it. May God bless you richly xoxo

  35. cuma resep says:

    educating children is easy but hard , everything went according to the time hoping to be better than their parents

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