Passing On Motherly Compassion To Your Daughter

One of my very favourite memories of my mother was the way she treated my sisters and I when we got sick as children.

At the first sign of a fever or illness, my mother would go straight to my room, tidy it all up (which sometimes took quite a while 🙂 ), and set up an entire display on my bedside table. The contents always included a potplant, a jug of juice, a thermometer, lozengers, and some other little treat to cheer me up.

Within a couple of hours, fresh, hot chicken soup would be delivered on a tray, as I was accompanied by mother talking with me and making me feel as though I was the most well cared for and loved person on the planet.

Passing-on-Motherly-Compassion-to-Your-Daughter-womenabiding

Her compassion and love warmed my heart, and I’m certain was the result of confidence and security that has lasted well into my adult years. Even in the midst of a very trying and abusive upbringing, it was moments such as these which my mother invested into me that served as anchors in my heart that I was unconditionally loved.

A Memory of Motherly Compassion

God ordained for this kind of experience to be one of the last that I would ever go through with my mother. In His wisdom, He clearly desired that one of the traits that I would carry with me throughout my life, and motherhood, would be the example of my mother’s compassion and comfort towards my own family members.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a work in progress, however, this great heritage from my precious mother has been embedded in my heart.

You see, when most folks were celebrating while welcoming the new millennium on the last day of 1999, I was at home with a dangerously high fever. For an entire week, I could barely move as my body fought a violent enfluenza. My husband had to work, which left me alone and helpless at home.

But my sweet mother would come in every single day to our apartment, prepare some food for me, carry me to the shower, change my sheets, and sit stroking my hair. I was 26 years old, but her mother heart of love still brought her to care for me when I needed her so much.

Three short months later, one of my sisters and my mother were instantly killed in a car accident.

A Present Day Opportunity for Motherly Compassion

My mind has wondered to this memory today, because now I am a mother who is at the bedside of my own daughter in a hospital room in Dunedin, New Zealand. I am the one now who has the opportunity and privilege to show the same compassion, care, and love to my own daughter. And more than anything over the past couple of days I have felt the heart of grace that my mother must have felt towards me and been vividly reminded of her care and investment in my life in this way.

I asked my daughter, Avielle, how she felt my mother heart during this illness, and wanted to share her perspective with you. Even though I was not aware that she noticed my doing these, they have had an impact on her and been etched in her spirit.

These are her words:

  • Reading the Bible together so that I would be encouraged.
  • Helping me to the bathroom.
  • Praying with me.
  • Holding my hand when I was having a blood test, even though it was all sweaty.
  • Even just being here, sleeping with me in my room on an uncomfortable couch bed.

Our children certainly feel that pulse of love flowing from our hearts, even when we as mothers aren’t even aware we are doing these acts, or that they are noticed.

Passing On Motherly Compassion To Your Daughter

My purpose in writing this post, my friend, is not to give you a 3 step plan in how to be more kind and sweet to your children, or to advise on 5 items to place beside your children’s bed when they are unwell.

Dear Mama, my desire is to convey to you that the beautiful ways in which you show love and tenderness to your children will be remembered. Tweet that

Even long after you are gone, no act of compassion, no effort to show love will be forgotten. Invest all the love, gentleness and sweetness that you possibly can into your daughters, because every time you do, you are sowing seeds of God’s character into their lives, and building on a heritage that will be embedded in their minds and hearts forever.

And let us not grow weary of doing good,
for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9

To God be the Glory!

Have you been intentional in passing on motherly compassion to your daughter? How can you implement this desire and invest into her in this way?

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Photo credit: Billy Wilson Photography via photopin cc

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29 Comments

  1. What we have modelled to us makes such a difference to the ease with which we take up similar characteristics. I had a mother who didn’t know the meaning of the word compassion, I’m not the most sympathetic person and I wonder if my mother had been more like yours, if I would have more of that compassion rooted into my heart? I think I did a better job than my mum and hopefully my daughter will do a better job than me and gradually the compassion will grow.

    1. Leanne, I absolutely loved your honesty and openness. Thank you for sharing so boldly, and I have no doubt that just the fact that you are aware of the lack of compassion that you received from your mother, and are convinced of the importance of having passed that on to your daughter, shows that that is exactly what you must have done! I admire your perspective and hope that the mistakes that our own parents made with us can indeed be redeemed in future generations, and don’t have to necessarily be passed on. Thank you for sharing this with me, you’ve blessed my socks off today! xoxo

  2. There are so many times where it’s easy to feel like you’ve failed as a mother – those days where you lose your temper, where you yell too often, where patience is lost. But then the Lord gives us an opportunity to slow down, care for, and love on our children the way that He’s called us to. And sometimes that means caring for a little one with a stomach bug (yesterday for me!).

    Thank you for the reminder to care for our children compassionately and for linking up with Grace & Truth!

    1. I hear ya, sis!!! There isn’t a mom who hasn’t felt as you have and who hasn’t ‘lost it’ and failed to exemplify the very Godly traits that we desire so greatly to instill in our little ones… Thankfully the Lord’s grace is new every morning (and He’s given our children short and forgiving memories 🙂 )… I do hope your little one is better now. God bless you for your faithfulness and heart. Thanks so much for your comment, Christie! xoxo

  3. Thank you for this nugget of truth. During the course of our parenting challenges, it can be hard to remember that God placed us with these children for a specific calling.

    1. Absolutely, Pam. I think we as moms are learning as much as our children are! It’s truly a privilege to be in their lives. Thank you so much for your comment and for stopping by xoxo

  4. This post touched my heart. A few years ago I lost my mom pretty quickly and I wasn’t prepared for it. Over the years I have looked at how I mother and have purposed to slow down and love deep each one of my five. Thank you for the reminder on compassion. Thank you for sharing. Misty.

    1. Oh thank you for sharing that hurtful part of your life with me, Misty. I truly can relate. It’s wonderful that you’re taking your experience and turning it into such a beautiful heart for your own children. God bless you, sweet friend xoxo

  5. OH, my! I sit here in tears, after reading your Godly, edifying advice. This also got me to thanking of my own dear, sweet mother, who Jesus called home to be with Him three years ago. OH, I miss her! It is odd, now that I think of it, but I was so ill right before she died, and one of the last times she dialed our phone number, she left a voice mail asking my husband or son to call her and let her know how I was feeling. You see, she was elderly and no longer able to drive, so she could not get to me, but she would have been here with me, if she could have been. She was a Godly, precious mother, who, as you said, embedded so much motherly love into me all my life. My husband and I do not have a daughter, but we have one precious son who God miraculously sent to us after 12 1/2 years of marriage and infertility struggles. I am SO grateful to be a mother! It is a most precious gift, and I am so grateful for the memories of my dear Mom. Thank you for this wonderful post…it warmed my heart, and I read it aloud to my own dear, little family. I am visiting here for the first time today…found you on the link-up. God bless you with a Merry Christmas, and I do trust your own dear daughter is HEALED and made whole, in Jesus’ name. 🙂

  6. Thank you for sharing this post at the Family Fun Friday link up! I will be featuring it on my blog at this week’s link up! <3

  7. This was an emotional post to read. I can remember my mom doing the same things for me when I was a sick as a child. I always loved the way she would sit by me and push my bangs off of my forehead and mix the bubbles out of my 7-up. I hope that I will do as well for my daughters as our mothers did for us.

  8. It’s the little things like that we hold dear to our heart. My mom always rubbed my throat with Vick and then applied an alcohol rag around my throat when ever I had a sore throat. Then she would go brew me up a cup of tea with cream and sugar. I pray that my daughters have fond memories of me like this. Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

    1. What beautiful memories you have, Jann… Thank you for sharing them… they’ve inspired me to keep on in my journey of passing on motherly compassion.. xx

  9. Even as an adult, I have counted on my mom’s compassion and nurturing. Moms are the best. I wish I was a good of a mom to my daughter as mine has been to me.

  10. What a touching story. I am sorry that you lost your mother and your sister so suddenly.

    Showing compassion to our children, as you so beautifully wrote, is a gift and one of the ways we sow seeds of God’s love within them. I have spent much time learning the art of self-compassion, which I believe is also an important gift to pass on to our children.
    God bless you!

  11. This is such a touching post. I hope that my children will see me this way and that the Lord will speak to them through their memories of childhood.

    1. From what I have known of you, my precious friend, compassion is definitely one of the many beautiful qualities that your children do see in you! Blessings and love xx

  12. So blessed by being beside you at the SDG gathering today. I have tried to mother with compassion, but as in all service, couldn’t’ we all be more diligent? Thank you for the reminder and the blessing.
    Peace and good to you in Jesus’ name,
    Chelle

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