For the Mom Who Doesn’t Measure Up

Today I am honoured to host an all round beautiful, God-fearing, and precious sister in the Lord, Lori Schumaker, on Women Abiding. Read more about Lori following her timely and truthful message below.

I was racing toward the basketball court to catch my son’s game, when out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the t-shirt that summed up my very chaotic morning.

Mommin’ ain’t easy

The grammar is terrible! But, friends, truth isn’t reliant upon grammar!

I could almost sense God smiling, winking gently as if to say, “See? It’s not just you. You’re not alone.”

It was a well needed reminder that morning because I did feel alone. No Mom-of-the-year awards were being handed my direction and as I looked around, I felt as though I was the only Mom in the crowd who didn’t measure up.

Do you wrestle with the same kinds of feelings? The feelings of just not measuring up?

We see

Beautiful Mom

Organized Mom

Funny Mom

Volunteer MomThe Mom with what appears as perfectly behaved children. And the Mom who throws together fresh healthy meals at a moment’s notice.


And right in the middle of all those Moms, lives our own reality.

Do you wrestle with feelings of just not measuring up? #motherhood #hope Click To Tweet

The reality of the 20 pounds we’d like to lose, the doctor appointment we forgot to make, and the witty conversation that never happened.

The reality of the ketchup trail plastered across our shirt leaving evidence of the fast food French Fries upon which our kids once again feasted.

But in here is a truth we need to remember.

When assumption and reality meet, we often find defeat. And for Mothers, that intersection of defeat threatens to steal our passion for the precious gift of Motherhood.

Friends, the Mom we see as perfect, is not. There just isn’t perfection outside of God.

That beautiful Mom?

She may be wracked with the pain of a chronic illness which she is refusing to let defeat her. Her make-up and clothing? A way to fight the enemy who desires for her to give up.

The organized Mom?

Her extended family may live in such chaos that her weapon has become the sense of control she gleans from organizing.

The funny Mom?

She may find humor and wit as tools to fight the grief that threatens to swallow her whole.

And the volunteer Mom?

The struggles she faces within the walls of her own home my give her cause to find joy and happiness in the act of giving.

I’m not saying just because a Mom is beautiful she is battling an illness nor does humor mean she is fighting grief.

But what I am saying, is that each and every one of us has a story. We are all fighting personal battles because the enemy of this world roams and wages war. Sin is present and trials are unavoidable.

None of us measure up.

We all fall far short of perfection.

Mommin’ ain’t easy.

You see, He made us as a one-of-a-kind. With our own funny little ways. He also made our children with their equally funny little ways.

And what He asks, He makes quite clear.

Love Me.

Follow Me.

Trust Me.

And I will equip you with all you need as the unique Mom of your unique children. I didn’t give them to you by chance. It was on purpose.

So, sweet friends, the next time you begin to feel as though you just don’t measure up, fight smart. You can start with these 3 positive steps!


 1.Remember who you are and Whose you are. Stay true to that.

Thus says God, the Lord, who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it. –Isaiah 42:5

Embrace your unique quirkiness. Growing and refining ourselves is always part of life, but if you are on the unorganized side but leave room for laughter in the day-to-day, embrace it! Celebrate the unique way in which God designed you!

2. Pray to recognize the Lord’s direction. Then trust that holy urging within your soul.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. – Jeremiah 29:11-13 ESV

3. Glean wisdom and ideas, but never compare yourself to another because you are not living their story. You are living your own story. Beautiful chaos and all!

We’re not, understand, putting ourselves in a league with those who boast that they’re our superiors. We wouldn’t dare do that. But in all this comparing and grading and competing, they quite miss the point. -2 Corinthians 10:12 MSG

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could somehow just level the playing field? If we all, just like that t-shirt, could be brave enough to wear our shortcomings with a loving acceptance?

I believe walls would fall and bridges be built.

We’d see each other through a filter of compassion rather than comparison.

We would rest in comradery.

And we would lay claim to our own beautiful chaos knowing we measure up in the only place that matters.

To the One and only.

To the God of the Universe.

Lori Schumaker

Lori Schumaker

As a wife, mom, teacher, friend, and writer, Lori believes her purpose is to encourage others to seek hope. Pointing others to Jesus brings her joy. Writing about the hope of Jesus is her focus. It’s because of this that she is excited to welcome you as a friend as you struggle through brokenness, celebrate life’s joys, and grow to know Jesus more and more. Find her blog, Searching for Moments, at
Lori Schumaker

Latest posts by Lori Schumaker (see all)

    How would it free you to stop comparing yourself to other moms and to adopt the perspective that we can’t actually see behind the scenes of other women’s lives? Would love to hear your thoughts…

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    About womenabiding

    Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.
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    24 Responses to For the Mom Who Doesn’t Measure Up

    1. Thank you, Tehila, for sharing my heart for Moms with your readers! Being a Mama is not easy! These precious gifts God gives us to care for here on Earth, don’t come with user manuals!lol! But if we grasp the love of Christ. If we grasp the extreme love and purpose behind His unique creation of each of us. And if we align our hearts to His, the comparisons and the confusion is taken off our shoulders! I pray these words give encouragement and hope to sweet Mamas needing that extra hug today!!
      Blessings and smiles,

      • womenabiding says:

        Amen, Lori! And it is the greatest privilege to share your beautiful and truthful message here at Women Abiding! Praying with you that many will be touched and blessed through your precious post! xoxo

    2. Gleniece says:

      Can I just say, Wow! Lori, that was truly moving.
      I live in a place of self-imposed shame, where I’m paddling against the tide of my own expectations {you can do better, you can do better}. My arms are tired.
      Thank you for your loving words. Your understanding words.
      I think we all need to keep telling each other– quit it. Drop the oars already. You don’t need ’em.
      Thank you for doing just that, my friend.

      • Gleniece,
        I so love that image of paddling against the tide! So true! I’m with you, friend! Let’s set those oars down and just love each other!!!!

        Thanks so much for stopping by today! You are a blessing!

    3. Kristina says:

      Love number three! We all have different stories. Why do I compare myself to others when God has given me a different story? Such a good point! Your neighbor at #tellhistory

    4. Heather says:

      “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could somehow just level the playing field? If we all, just like that t-shirt, could be brave enough to wear our shortcomings with a loving acceptance?” <==YES!!

      This whole post is just too true. Thank you so much!

    5. Jann Olson says:

      No mom should ever feel she doesn’t measure up! Sadly though, many do. We all have our good days and bad days. The important thing is to remember to not compare ourselves to others! What a fabulous guest post! Thanks for sharing with SYC.

    6. Valerie says:

      I sure needed this today! “Embrace my unique quirkiness!” I love that. Thank you for this encouragement!

    7. Lori,
      I love the “God wink” that God gave you in letting you take notice of the t-shirt saying that caught your eye! No it ain’t easy. Loved your steps and scripture you quoted. Also need to remember that the enemy would love nothing more than to engage us in the comparison game – let’s not give him the satisfaction!! So glad I popped by!

    8. Marielle says:

      Great message. I love the point to glean but not compare. If we choose to learn from the strengths of others and share our light, rather than envy one another, we can grow together in untold ways. Thanks for sharing!

    9. Lori,
      Fabulous post and wisdom 🙂 Blessings to you as you “mom” 🙂

    10. Lois Flowers says:

      Lori, how well I remember my exhausted self watching other moms in the checkout in at the grocery store, just sweetly waiting with their little kiddos standing quietly and calmly nearby. Meanwhile, my older daughter was busy organizing all the impulse items, talking to every person who came close, inviting strangers to lunch at our house–and this only after she had literally jumped her way through the entire store! Now my sweet girl channels all that energy into 12-plus hours of ballet class each week, and I have a much better perspective on what you said about the truth behind every person’s story. We just never know, do we?

      And this? “I will equip you with all you need as the unique Mom of your unique children. I didn’t give them to you by chance. It was on purpose.” As the mom of two amazing adopted girls, I have found this to be absolutely true, 100 percent!

      Wonderful post … thank you, Lori, for writing it, and thank you, Tehila, for sharing it with us today!


    11. I’ve found that as my boys get older, the gig is up and we both can see how I don’t measure up. However, God’s grace lifts us up – and grants forgiveness. I think I’d go nuts if I didn’t realize how God sees me, loves me, forgives me. Thank you for the reminder to not fall into the trap!

    12. Wise words here, thanks so much for sharing. I cling to the knowledge that Jesus carried also my failings to the cross. Also, God’s grace fills in where I don’t measure up. God bless you, sis!

    13. Liz says:

      Amen! This is so true and encouraging! Thanks for sharing! I am not alone!!!

    14. Karen Grosz says:

      Beautiful words. We do all have a story. My youngest is now a senior in high school and I can see as I have changed over the last few years how these words would have be so helpful when they were young. I trust in the Lord. I am His and I won’t compare myself to others because He made me. #

    15. Catherine says:

      What wise words. It is so easy to get caught up in self doubt or envy. I think all Moms have been there at least once. We may not be perfect and that is okay, but we can take those times we notice someone else to reflect on ourselves and see what we can work on. A new goal to strive toward, if you will. And after that, to just embrace who we are and our situation. A great example…I do not have a spotless house, I wish I did, but with 3 active boys and a hubby who don’t care much about being tidy, it is almost impossible. I have a friend who always seems to have her house together. However, we have talked about it and she sees in me a desire to always learn and grow, that she wishes she had. So it boils down to how we spend our time differently. She spends it cleaning, and I spend it researching new ideas which help our family save money, learn new things and grow. It is okay to be different. Embrace who God has made you to be!

    16. Crystal says:

      Lori, your words are always filled with hope and compassion! You were made to encourage friend:) I’m so grateful that God never requires perfection and His grace fills so many gaps in motherhood. Thank you challenging each of us to lay claim to our own beautiful story.

    17. Sarah Koontz says:

      Such great advice, Lori! We all fail to measure up from time to time, don’t we? Love your 3 tips, especially the encouragement to stop comparing.

    18. Such a beautiful post – comparisons only make us unhappy. We can all learn from each other, but we still have our own paths to follow. #FridayFrivolity

    19. Crystal says:

      I had to explain to my 8-year-old daughter yesterday that everyone has problems, not just her. She didn’t believe me. It always seems like everyone else has it better, but it’s just not true. Which is comforting. There’s not something wrong with us, we’re just all human.

    20. This is a heartfelt message that I feel every mother needs to hear at some point or another. Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom with us on the #FridayFrivolity party.

    21. Lizzie Roles says:

      Wow Lori these are awesome and Christ infused words. Thank you so much for sharing your heart #sharethejoy

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