For the Mom Who Doesn’t Measure Up
Today I am honoured to host an all round beautiful, God-fearing, and precious sister in the Lord, Lori Schumaker, on Women Abiding. Read more about Lori following her timely and truthful message below.
I was racing toward the basketball court to catch my son’s game, when out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the t-shirt that summed up my very chaotic morning.
“Mommin’ ain’t easy”
The grammar is terrible! But, friends, truth isn’t reliant upon grammar!
I could almost sense God smiling, winking gently as if to say, “See? It’s not just you. You’re not alone.”
It was a well needed reminder that morning because I did feel alone. No Mom-of-the-year awards were being handed my direction and as I looked around, I felt as though I was the only Mom in the crowd who didn’t measure up.
Do you wrestle with the same kinds of feelings? The feelings of just not measuring up?
We see
Beautiful Mom
Organized Mom
Funny Mom
Volunteer MomThe Mom with what appears as perfectly behaved children. And the Mom who throws together fresh healthy meals at a moment’s notice.
And right in the middle of all those Moms, lives our own reality.
The reality of the 20 pounds we’d like to lose, the doctor appointment we forgot to make, and the witty conversation that never happened.
The reality of the ketchup trail plastered across our shirt leaving evidence of the fast food French Fries upon which our kids once again feasted.
But in here is a truth we need to remember.
When assumption and reality meet, we often find defeat. And for Mothers, that intersection of defeat threatens to steal our passion for the precious gift of Motherhood.
Friends, the Mom we see as perfect, is not. There just isn’t perfection outside of God.
That beautiful Mom?
She may be wracked with the pain of a chronic illness which she is refusing to let defeat her. Her make-up and clothing? A way to fight the enemy who desires for her to give up.
The organized Mom?
Her extended family may live in such chaos that her weapon has become the sense of control she gleans from organizing.
The funny Mom?
She may find humor and wit as tools to fight the grief that threatens to swallow her whole.
And the volunteer Mom?
The struggles she faces within the walls of her own home my give her cause to find joy and happiness in the act of giving.
I’m not saying just because a Mom is beautiful she is battling an illness nor does humor mean she is fighting grief.
But what I am saying, is that each and every one of us has a story. We are all fighting personal battles because the enemy of this world roams and wages war. Sin is present and trials are unavoidable.
None of us measure up.
We all fall far short of perfection.
Mommin’ ain’t easy.
You see, He made us as a one-of-a-kind. With our own funny little ways. He also made our children with their equally funny little ways.
And what He asks, He makes quite clear.
Love Me.
Follow Me.
Trust Me.
And I will equip you with all you need as the unique Mom of your unique children. I didn’t give them to you by chance. It was on purpose.
So, sweet friends, the next time you begin to feel as though you just don’t measure up, fight smart. You can start with these 3 positive steps!
1. Remember who you are and Whose you are. Stay true to that.
Thus says God, the Lord, who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it. –Isaiah 42:5
Embrace your unique quirkiness. Growing and refining ourselves is always part of life, but if you are on the unorganized side but leave room for laughter in the day-to-day, embrace it! Celebrate the unique way in which God designed you!
2. Pray to recognize the Lord’s direction. Then trust that holy urging within your soul.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. – Jeremiah 29:11-13 ESV
3. Glean wisdom and ideas, but never compare yourself to another because you are not living their story. You are living your own story. Beautiful chaos and all!
We’re not, understand, putting ourselves in a league with those who boast that they’re our superiors. We wouldn’t dare do that. But in all this comparing and grading and competing, they quite miss the point. -2 Corinthians 10:12 MSG
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could somehow just level the playing field? If we all, just like that t-shirt, could be brave enough to wear our shortcomings with a loving acceptance?
I believe walls would fall and bridges be built.
We’d see each other through a filter of compassion rather than comparison.
We would rest in comradery.
And we would lay claim to our own beautiful chaos knowing we measure up in the only place that matters.
To the One and only.
To the God of the Universe.
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How would it free you to stop comparing yourself to other moms and to adopt the perspective that we can’t actually see behind the scenes of other women’s lives? Would love to hear your thoughts…