Here’s A Quick Way To Understand Your Role As A Wife

Have you ever heard an illustration or an analogy about something that seemed to transform your understanding. Almost as though having a mind picture of the scenario or situation is just what you needed to finally make sense of all the pieces?

Well, that’s what happened to me yesterday when a sweet lady offered an explanation that resonated powerfully in my heart.

It was about marriage.

heres-a-quick-way-to-understand-your-role-as-a-wife

She likened the husband and wife to a large, beautiful, ornate tree (well, that’s the way I pictured it when she said ‘tree’ :-)).

The widespread branches are sprawled out on display for all to see. They are awe inspiring, fruit bearing, and can be viewed and admired from distances far and wide. Well that, my friend, is the picture of your husband! He is the one who ‘is known at the gate,’ (Proverbs 31:23), the one who is respected, looked up to, and sought after.

So, if all the beautiful parts of the tree are taken up by your husband; the luscious leaves, the gorgeous, colourful fruit, the magnificent flowers, then where are you, the wife, in this scene? You may be wondering…

When I heard what you and I are as wives in the anatomy of this tree, it both shocked and humbled me.

You and I, dear fellow wife, are the tree trunk.

Your Role As a Wife

We are the ones who support this tree, who hold it up, who even carry the weight of it.

It’s a fascinating study to research tree trunks. The trunk is the part of a tree that connects the leafy crown with its roots. So, say the roots are the Lord, as a wife, one of your primary functions is to help your husband to see circumstances in his life from God’s perspective, from an eternal perspective, from a Biblical perspective. When you’re firmly connected to the life-giving roots and doing well with the Lord, your husband benefits greatly.

Another function of the trunk is that it is used to transport water and nutrients to the branches and leaves. So you and I can really be spiritual channels of the water of prayer and nourishing nutrients of encouragement to our husbands, as we draw those personally from the Lord Himself.

You see, it is no small feat to be the trunk, my friend. And I have no doubt that you are a truly beautiful trunk! But as admirable as the tree trunk is for it’s essential purposes, it is by far less noticeable and admired as the body it sustains.

In the same way, it is our duty as wives to follow our Lord’s example who said of His Father, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30) As tempting as it is to take the attention, the credit, and praise, it is crucial that whatever you and I do as a wife within our marriage, results in our husbands being exalted, lifted up, and honoured, both within our home, and publicly. Tweet that

Now, in case you get the very wrong impression that I have already attained this down pat, please know that I am preaching to myself firstly and formostly here. I all too often am the one to be quick to rob the glory and honour of others from my husband.

May I share that for the first 10 years of our marriage I sinfully twisted the entire ‘helpmeet’ scripture to suit my sinful self!? You heard me! In theory I believed that I should be my husband’s helpmeet, but in every practical way and form I designed our lives in ways that would cause him to help me, and not the other way around.

I was horrified when I had the illumination of my evil deeds! It took the next few years to learn what being a helpmeet to my husband actually means, and I am probably still half the earth further than you are in getting it right!

Here’s A Quick Way To Understand Your Role As A Wife

In my efforts to change my ways, I have recently made a conscious decision that each and every day I would do one big thing for my husband. Often it isn’t a big thing for me, but I know he considers it a huge help.

For example, since my husband works from home, I’ll now take our 5 children out to an event or a sports activity, so that he can have some quiet hours in the house to focus on what he needs to do. In the past I would have selfishly taken a couple of the children, but left two or three of them with him, just to make it easier on myself.

Or, I’ll help him with a little editing of his documents, since English is his third language, and he has been known to present rather embarrassing mistakes on his powerpoint presentations when he preaches (such as ‘fist’ instead of ‘feast’). 🙂

Each day, I do something. Each day, I aim to establish myself as the trunk, nurturing, helping, and holding, so that he may be viewed within our four walls and to the four corners of the globe as honoured and respected.

His Role As A Husband

Our husbands are naturally not void of their responsibilities, duties and disciplines. They need to maintain their own walk with God, leadership of the family, and provide for those who belong to them. But wouldn’t it make their jobs that much easier and more blessed to have our unconditional support and help as their trunks?

I challenge you, beloved wife, as I am being challenged in my own life, to pray about and work on taking a step back and evaluating how you can support your husband. Decreasing, so that he can increase.

The most wonderful truth of all is that God sustains both of the inseparable parts of this tree as both sections function in reliance and submission to Him.

What could you practically start doing to be that trunk, that support, that your husband needs today?


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