Why Every Mom Feels Like the Worst Mom in the World

Do you feel as though you are the worst mom in the world? If you do, join the club! Lately so many moms have confided in me that they think they are the worst mom in the world. When they confess this discovery about themselves, they speak in low tones and draw close to ensure that no one hears them. They are ashamed of their parenting, and feel like total failures.

The amazing thing is that these moms who have shared that they feel like they’re the worst mothers in the world, are actually the best mothers I know! They are devoted, caring, loving, and dedicated moms who see their life calling as nurturing their young ones and giving them a firm foundation for their future life on earth.

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Somewhere along the line, as these mothers have, you too may have judged your parenting by a certain standard which you feel you have not reached.

Perhaps you have:

  • Been disappointed by the way one or more of your children are ‘turning out.’
  • Been disheartened by unwise decisions that your children are making.
  • Been disrespected and dishonoured by your children
  • Been frustrated at the lack of obedience and desire to serve that you would have expected your children to have mastered by now.

As moms, we often evaluate ourselves by what our children are doing, saying, or struggling with.

Perhaps you can relate to having had these thoughts at some point, or you’re feeling dealing with these very issues today.

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We want to be great moms, and believe that if our children are all that we would hope them to be, we must be doing something right. Alternatively, if our children are being unpredictable and making choices that we hoped they wouldn’t make, that we must be doing everything wrong. Hence the conclusion that we’re the worst moms in the world.

And it hurts. And it’s hard.

Yet another reason you may be feeling this way

As if that isn’t a hard enough cause for feeling this way, there is another reason you may feel down. Your likely perception of being a failure to be as godly as you ought to be. You see your own sin, you feel guilty for not exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit to a greater degree for your children to emulate, and you are devastated that you are not measuring up as the godly mother you desire to be.

I know this side of the argument all too well. I go to bed each evening praying for the Lord to forgive my sins and shortcomings of the day, intending with all of my heart to be holier and more righteous! And guess what?! By the time breakfast is over the next morning, I’ve already blown it – sometimes big time!

The truth is though, that children are resilient and they are forgiving. They love their mom unconditionally, just as you love them unconditionally. And as long as we are humbling ourselves before them, and asking for their forgiveness when we have sinned against them, they’re fine. Honestly, most of the time you can ask your child a couple of days later about the incident and they won’t even remember what you’re talking about. We can actually learn so much from children in this way.

Not only do they forgive, more often than not they also forget!

Being an example to our children of a sinful and imperfect mom is exactly what they need! Click To Tweet

When they see their mom fail, get up by God’s grace and try again, and when they witness their mom prayerfully growing in the fruit of the Spirit, they are learning what real life is about, and what real faith is about! 

Putting things into perspective

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as though we can just let ourselves go. Our calling, as mothers, is to be faithful to follow what the Word of God teaches consistently in how we parent. To aim to set godly examples, and to walk humbly before our Lord in the large and small tasks that He has for us to perform daily.

Sure we fail at times… okay most of the time… but overall if our hearts are submitted to His will, and if we are following Him drawing from His strength, we can trust that In His infinite wisdom He gives each child the perfect mom for them!

You are the only mother your children need, and love. Click To Tweet

Enjoy them, and rest in His grace.

God’s grace is sufficient to bridge the gaps of imperfect parenting, and thankfully, by His kindness, love covers a multitude of sins! As you love the living daylights out of your children, His love covers the multitude of your sins, and what they see is His everlasting Life flowing through you.

What is it about your parenting that makes you feel like the worst mom in the world? What can you focus on in God’s Word that will help change your mindset? (Comment below)

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Missional Motherhood Giveaway!

I am absolutely delighted and honoured that Gloria Furman and Crossway have most generously offered to give away 3 copies of Gloria’s beautiful, newly released Missional Motherhood: The Everyday Ministry of Motherhood in the Grand Plan of God

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Sometimes moms see the never-ending laundry, dirty diapers, and skinned knees as relatively insignificant when compared to activities and callings that seem more important and lasting.

But there is eternal value in even the most mundane moments if the Great Commission informs how we’re thinking about all of life, including what it means to be a mom. 

Tracing motherhood in the story of the Bible and drawing out key implications for moms today, Gloria Furman helps women live out God’s story of redemption in their daily lives as they nurture their children and joyfully share the message of the gospel with those around them.

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Can only be shipped to U.S. and Canadian addresses


 Can’t wait to get your hands on Missional Motherhood?

Purchase as a gift for yourself and a friend 🙂

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Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.
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About womenabiding

Tehila is an Israeli, God-loving, husband-serving, child-nurturing mom of five sweet little ones whom she homeschools. She resides in beautiful New Zealand from where she blogs at Women Abiding – Encouraging women to abide in God and His Word.
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64 Responses to Why Every Mom Feels Like the Worst Mom in the World

  1. Pamela Kuhn says:

    What a beautiful book…thank you for the opportunity to win them. I know of three young mothers who I can bless with them. I’m guilty of feeling like the worst mother. But nobody ever loved being a mother more.

    • womenabiding says:

      I absolutely loved the way you put it, Pamela… how you do feel the guilt of not being the mom you wish you could be, but adoring your motherhood nonetheless… How special!! I’d love for you to win one of the books (3 ladies will win one book each)… With blessing and care to you xoxo

  2. Thank you for this. It is true I frequently feel like I am making mistakes and screwing up my kids. Great perspective on mothering.

    • womenabiding says:

      We all do, Melissa! I have loved reading and answering all the comments on this post because it just shows how we are all in the same boat, and all need encouragement in this area! Love and blessings xoxo

  3. Trena says:

    Looks like a great book!

  4. Kelly S says:

    Much-needed encouraging words for all mothers! Thanks for speaking truth and life into us. Visiting from #RaRaLinkup.

  5. Mindy White says:

    This post sure hits home with me. I do not feel like a complete failure, but I feel like I should have done better in so many things. I especially relate to your point of feeling that what I have done as a parent has not been godly enough. Thank you for the encouragement to put things into a proper perspective.

    • womenabiding says:

      So much appreciate your transparency, Mindy. We truly can all relate to your feelings of regret and inadequacy. God is good and kind and gracious to fill in the gaps and to raise our children in spite of us. Be encouraged! Love to you xoxo

  6. Hi Tehila,
    I love this post. It is filled with so much hope! Feeling like the worst mom in the world is a reality for so many of us! This post, and this book, give us hope that truly we aren’t! I would love to invite you to share this post with us at Moments of Hope, a new link up I’ve launched. I know it is a day late, but there is still room and my prayer is that this page be saturated with the hope of Christ every Monday!!!!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

    • womenabiding says:

      Hi Lori! I’m a great fan, so feel very honoured to have had you stop by at Women Abiding 🙂 I will definitely stop by from now on at Moments of Hope. You’re a blessing! xoxo

  7. Hi Tehila,
    I think it’s great you assuage people’s guilt about motherhood.
    Thank you for bringing your post to Blogger’s Pit Stop.
    Janice, Pit Stop Crew

  8. CS Calkins says:

    Always wanted to be June Cleaver but fall way short….better grandmother than parent for sure…but no matter what, children need their own mothers NOT substitutes! Many thanks for linking up at Home Matters Linky cuz we ALL need the “mother boost”!!!

    • womenabiding says:

      Yes! No one can replace a momma. It’s such a privileged position we have, and there are so many beautiful things to cherish about our motherhood. Lovely to see you here, sweet friend! xoxo

  9. Kathleen says:

    Sounds like a great giveaway for mums, thanks for helping them.

  10. These are great words of wisdom. As moms, we so easily focus on what’s happening today or the mistakes we made today and forget our long term goals and God’s grace in the process. Thanks for sharing at Mom-to-Mom Mondays.

    • womenabiding says:

      Sooooo true, Rachel! It really does take so much of our energy and time to just make it through the here and now that we often neglect focusing on the bigger picture. God is so good to us and to our children, despite our failings! Blessings to you xoxo

  11. Can’t wait to read this book. I’ve loved everything Gloria has written so far!

  12. Thanks for this. It is what I needed today.

  13. Karen says:

    Love your post. I think I feel like I fail so often because I realize how important the task before me is. My influence on my kids has the power to shape them, their families, their grandchildren and who knows how many more. It’s so easy to get caught up in things that are unimportant and “blow it” and forget how far and wide our impact will be. Thank goodness that kids are resilient and forgiving!

    • womenabiding says:

      I absolutely LOVE the way you have a vision for the generations, Karen! It is the BEST way to be – because realising how far reaching our influence on our children is, helps incredible in how we treat them, pray for them, and shepherd their precious hearts! I am so impressed with you!!! You are CLEARLY doing an amazing job as a mom and your children are blessed beyond words! Thank you so much for pointing these truths out. I didn’t think of adding them to the post, and thankful that you did! xoxo

  14. Jessica says:

    I feel like I’m failing as a mom because I’m not the mom I should be for my kids. I think focusing on making all the big and little tasks of the day into prayers would really help me! What a relief it is to know that God chose me as their mom and these 3 as my little ones! Great post! -Jessica, Sweet Little Ones

    • womenabiding says:

      YES, Jessica! You are the perfect mom for your little ones, who have been hand picked by God to be placed in your care… their personalities, temperaments and hearts perfectly suited to be led by yours. It is SO normal to feel the way you do, but we moms need to remain faithful to keeping our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. He is working in US just as much as He is working in our children. What a relief and comfort! My heart is with you, sweet friend xoxo

  15. Brenda says:

    I think it’s a rare mother who doesn’t feel that way at times. When I see my children struggling with things, my feelings tell me I’ve failed them in some way; that if I wouldn’t have or would have done X, they’d not be struggling. But, that’s just foolish thinking. One of the things I always say, is what you’ve pointed out…God fills the gaps. So grateful for that. So grateful we’re not alone in this parenting thing, but accompanied by a faithful God. Nice post this morning, thanks for sharing. 🙂 ((grace upon grace))

    • womenabiding says:

      Gorgeous name for a blog! Chasing Holiness! I love it!!! (Why didn’t I think of that (LOL) 🙂 Your words are beautiful, fitting, and so encouraging, Brenda. We truly are all in this together, and nothing happens that is not common to man, so to speak (paraphrase of a great verse in the Bible – I forget where). How precious that we have the King of all Kings to be ever-present, ever-comforting, and ever-compensating for our failures! He is GOOD! xoxo

  16. Leah says:

    Thank you for this 🙂 I’m glad to know I’m not the only mom who sometimes blows it by the time breakfast is over! I’ve been working so hard to try to improve our family’s financial situation, and sometimes feel like I’m failing at not only that goal, but also at being a mom because of all the work I put in. Someone the other day said they admired how hard I work and I was floored. I realized I just couldn’t see the forest for all the trees!
    Anyway, this post reaffirmed to me that I am good enough. Thank you!!

    • womenabiding says:

      I hear ya, Leah! Thank you for sharing your struggles to openly. I know they resonate with me, and will with many who read your comment. I have no doubt that even though you may be finding it hard to ‘do it all’ God is compensating where you may lack the time and energy… On a side note, you are so pretty!!!! Hugs xoxo

  17. Liz Jo says:

    This is so helpful for all new and old mothers. Sometimes we forget that we are only human and there will be times we struggle.

    Thanks for linking up with Welcome Home Wednesdays! Live every Wednesday at 7AM EST.

    liz @ j for joiner

  18. Beautiful post, Tehila. I have felt/feel this same way quite often. But YES to … “God’s grace is sufficient to bridge the gaps of imperfect parenting.” Amen and AMEN! Visiting from the linkups today.

    • womenabiding says:

      Thanks, Diane! I’m soooo grateful that He truly does come through for us as parents and make up for all our mistakes. He is good indeed! Much love to you, sweet friend xoxo

  19. Ruthie Gray says:

    “You are the only mother your children need” YES! We do think we just don’t measure up – and the comparison game makes it even worse. God has better plans for us than that, and it doesn’t include us beating ourselves up!

    Thanks for sharing this with us at Tuesday Talk, it’s such an important topic for moms.

  20. Krisitne says:

    Thank you for this Tehila. Boy does this strike a deep chord. My two boys are grown and newly married, and I still fall into deep feeling of regret over so much in the past. I appreciate this article you’ve written, and hope that it helps others to know they are not alone in their feelings of not ‘measuring up’. I always felt so guilty seeing the ‘super’ moms who did crafts with their children, succeded at home-schooling, volunteered at their schools, ect. ect. I just wasn’t a mom like that. Most of the time I felt like I was simply trying to ‘survive’; working on a troubled marriage, working through and healing from a childhood of emotional neglect & sexual abuse, trying to be obidient to God and stay in fellowship with Him, trying to not be a complete emotional basket case in front of my kids. So many mistakes, so much I wish I could go back and do over again. But, you are 100% correct, children have an AMAZING capacity for showing grace and forgivness. Honestly, I think of this often: How do people survive this life without being in a relationship with God? I can only imagine the complete state of destruction that would have occured without Jesus as my Lord. Keep up your good work! 🙂

    • womenabiding says:

      Dearest Kristine. Wow.. your humility and openness are a gift, and soooo refreshing! Thank you for sharing your heart and your awe for the One who makes all things new and right and sane. Without Him, you’re right, destruction would be an understatement to describe our lives. My biggest fear is to look back at my children’s childhoods and feel regret, much like you’ve described here… the pain it must cause… but keeping the Lord in the centre of our focus and perspective, and looking to Him to cover over our sins and where we didn’t measure up, is really all we can do. He is good!!! Loved having you here with your beautiful thoughts xoxo

  21. Vanessa says:

    Great perspective – and so heartwarming. Thank you for the encouragement. God’s grace is sufficient – He just asks us to be faithful! 🙂

  22. Margo says:

    Thank you so much, I needed this today!

  23. Ann says:

    I can relate to every one of the reasons every mom may feel like a failure. Like all parents, I’ve made many mistakes – both doing things I shouldn’t in front of my child and not doing what I should have done. I tend to over-think most things anyway, so of course I find myself wondering how my child may have turned out differently if I would have tried harder to teach him things or would have been a better example. I realize we can’t second guess the possible “what-ifs” of life, so I continue to pray that those mistakes I made I will someday see how God used them to grow my child’s faith in Him. Thanks for sharing.

    • womenabiding says:

      And use them, He will, Ann… He is in the business of turning all things together for our good and the good of our children. What a comfort and encouragement that is. So much appreciate your input here! Love xoxo

  24. Yes, Yes!! Loved this line, “God’s grace is sufficient to bridge the gaps of imperfect parenting”!

    As a mother of two grown boys (30 and 34) I often still can feel like I was the worst mother ever. I could have done better…if I had they would be stronger spiritual leaders of their homes, stronger men of God etc…etc….sometimes I wonder if we just expect them to be much farther along in their journeys with the Lord than we were at their ages but God consistently reminds me that He will continue the work that HE began in them.

    It’s His work in them…not my work that will grow them into the men God knows they can be…

    • womenabiding says:

      That is such an interesting view, Sharon. Looking at the children all grown up, and feeling as though we failed and were the worst moms because they’re not functioning as we think they should be… But yes! You hit the nail on the head – God does fill in the blanks and the gaps and all the weaknesses. It is HIS work – in our children AND in US, the moms!!! You’re such a blessing! xoxo

  25. Jessica says:

    Hearing truth instead of fluff from other mamas is the best thing ever!

  26. I’m not a mom yet, but this is a really thoughtful and encouraging post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts at #FridayFrivolity!

  27. Gayl Wright says:

    I’m so glad I came across your blog at #LMMLinkup! You have a wealth of great information that is inspiring and encouraging to other moms. I raised 7 kids who are all adults now, and I can heartily say that God’s grace is always sufficient. We may not think so at times and we may feel like failures, but there is much grace and forgiveness. It is so important as you shared to be willing to admit when we are wrong and to ask for forgiveness, to show our children that we are not perfect and neither are they, but God is full of grace. We can learn from our mistakes and teach our children also to lean on God who will give them strength and grace. Thank you for sharing at #LMMLinkup!

    • womenabiding says:

      Oh Gayl! I read and re-read your comment because it was *such* an encouragement to me, and I know will be to every single mom reading your words! There is nothing like the perspective of a seasoned mamma who has gone through all the hardships and joys of raising little ones to soothe and comfort one’s heart! And you have done that sooooo well here! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your wisdom with us all!!! xoxoxox

  28. Lauren says:

    I love this post! I have times when I feel like the worst mother but I know I am doing my best! Think every mum will go through it at some point!

    • womenabiding says:

      Well then you’re in good company, Lauren! And I agree with you, all moms go through times of feeling that way… It doesn’t mean it’s true though 🙂 Blessings to you xoxo

  29. How encouraging, Tehlia! So glad you linked up with us again at #FridayFrivolity this week!

  30. Found you on The Life Of Faith. Great read. Thanks for sharing.

  31. Jann Olson says:

    Gosh, it saddens my heart that mothers really feel this way. I never thought I was the best mom in the world, but certainly never thought I was the worst. We have to remember that kids have their own agency and have to choose for themselves which path they will take. We just have to do our best, love them, and pray for them. Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

    • womenabiding says:

      I always love hearing your perspective as one has been down this road and come out the other side, Jann. I think it’s so beneficial for young moms to read your words. Thank you for sharing them with us! I for one was very, very blessed by them xoxo

  32. Stephanie says:

    These truths really resonated with me. Now with three teenagers it is easier to see that they truly are resilient. And I have finally learned that I really am the best mom for my kids – the nice thing is they recognize this also. Friendships with other moms are so much more meaningful when we allow the masks to fall off and build each other up instead of competing with nonexistent perfection.

    • womenabiding says:

      What great insight, Stephanie! Yes, there’s something about comparing notes (in the positive sense) with other moms that helps us to feel like we’re not the worst mom in the world! I really appreciate your seasoned perspective… Blessings to you today, sweet friend xoxo

  33. Linda Morris says:

    Thank You for this article. I think every mother can relate to one or more of these, myself included. I bookmarked this page so I can come back to it as needed for encouragement.

    • womenabiding says:

      Wonderful to hear, Linda! Yes, we certainly can relate to so much of what we all go through as mothers. We can feel quite isolated not knowing that others out there are actually going through very similar experiences and thoughts. It’s great to connect and know that we are not alone, and that there is hope! Blessings to you xoxo

  34. What an interesting perspective this is. Thank you!
    Thanks for bringing your post to the Blogger’s Pit Stop.
    Janice, Pit Stop Crew

  35. Leigh Ellen says:

    Thank you for sharing these hope-filled, encouraging thoughts!

    You’ve definitely piqued my interest in “Missional Motherhood.” 🙂

    Visiting you today from #LiteraryMusingMondays.

    • womenabiding says:

      Missional Motherhood is on my wishlist, but it sounds amazing! Thank you so much for your comment, Leigh Ellen! Have a wonderful week ahead xoxo

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