Have you ever been through a hard stage in your marriage, which led you to try to pinpoint what the actual problem was?
That’s where my husband and I are at. He has just returned from an entire month abroad, and whenever we’re apart for that long, the readjusting to life together has been rough!
As I’ve pondered what the struggle is really all about, I believe I have isolated what the hardest aspect of my marriage is.
I want my husband to be just like me!
Perhaps you can relate to entertaining one or more of these thoughts:
“If my husband was more talkative (like I am) we would have such a special friendship. I’d know exactly where he stands and what he’s going through and we’d be on the same page.”
“If my husband was a better listener (like I am), he would be able to understand me and it would be so much easier for me to share my heart with him.”
“If my husband could see things that need to be done around the house (like I do), there wouldn’t be mess or jobs that needed to be done. Our home and our lives would be so much more orderly.”
Oh how tempting it is to think this way, isn’t it my friend? How easy and how natural it is to expect our husbands to be just.like.us!
The truth is, though, that God created men and women differently. Not only did he create us uniquely, but He went to the extra effort to place husbands and wives as spouses knowing our differences and peculiarities.
Think about it… how often have you met a couple where both are extroverts? Or where both are more emotional rather than analytical? Or where both think exactly the same way about money? I actually can’t think of one couple out of the thousands we have known that are identical in their personalities or tendencies.
God’s intention for your marriage
Maybe, just maybe, that is because it isn’t God’s plan for us to have an easy, effortless relationship.
Perhaps the Lord intended for us to sharpen one another as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17 ), to grow in the fruit of His Spirit as we deal with one another (Galatians 5:22-23), and to develop the ability to express true and undefiled unconditional love to one another (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
We think that if our husbands were just like us, life would be peachy and proper and perfect. But actually, if they were, the eternal characteristics that our Refiner desires for you and I to grow, would be very sparse. The dross that His fire seeks to illiminate from our sinful beings would remain within us. And the potential godly beauty that we could exude, would lay lazily at the bottom of His pot as we ‘live our best lives now.’When God handpicked your husband for you, He had your greater good and His glory in mind. Click To Tweet
He knew your sin, your weaknesses, your struggles (as well as your husband’s), and planned for you to mature into the image of His glorious Son through the non-smooth-sailing relationship that you would endure. The blessing of working through the misunderstandings, the challenging personality traits, and the frustrating habits are for a greater purpose than you and I can fathom.
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.
For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Can you relate to this aspect of marriage? I’d love to know what has helped you to embrace the differences in your husband. Please share in the comments below.
Linking up at the Grace and Truth Linkup: