My daughter, Aviel, and I, took some time this morning to read through some blog post entries that I had written about two or three years ago.
At the risk of sounding proud, the writings were sincere, inspiring, and genuinely encouraging.
Reading over recent posts that I have written for Women Abiding, Aviel and I tried to analyze why these new entries seemed more stiff, impersonal, and quite frankly, boring at times.
While my daughter speculated about the reason, deep down in my heart, I knew.
The Truth Comes Out
I knew that back then…
And everything I wrote was written through the lens of my love for Him.
Confessing My Sin
I had to humble myself before this precious maiden, to whom I seek to be an example. I hesitated whether to confide that…
- My walk with my Father has somewhat cooled.
- My heart does not pound with excitement every time I think of the One who saved my soul.
- I take so many of the blessings that He lovingly places before me for granted.
- I have become all too self-sufficient and less God-dependent.
And it shows.
It shows in my writing.
It shows in my attitudes.
It shows in my priorities.
It shows in my perspective.
And it is only my God and my heart who know the truth of how far I have deteriorated.
With all my heart, I desire to say with the Psalmist:
“As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.”
Yet I know full well, that it is only by His working in me, and drawing my soul to His courts, that I can even develop this thirst and hunger for Him (tweet that if you feel humble).
I find comfort and courage in the words of James who so succinctly said in chapter 4:8, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”
Is This Ringing A Bell?
If you can relate to me during this period of your life, let us together purpose to:
Read the Bible daily, spending time in His presence
Reflect on His words of life, and apply them to our lives
May God have mercy on us, and restore to us the joy of our salvation!