5 Remarkably Simple Ways To Be A Low Maintenance Friend
Friendship is an insperable part of life for us as women. Whether it’s the best people to choose as friends, or how to find a true friend, I write about this topic because it is both interesting and relevant to explore. The joy of a great friendship contributes such sweetness and joy to life when we’re privileged to be granted one. While the lack of a true friend can cause lonelines, pain, and longing for all that this blessing can bring.
I considered it such a compliment when a sister in the Lord recently told me that I was a low-maintenance friend. I decided to delve into the concept and think about what this truly means.
The dictionary defines low-maintenance as:
“Not requiring a lot of work or attention to maintain.”
Now, having a husband, children, a garden, or home that does not require a lot of work or attention to maintain sure sounds heavenly to me! 🙂 But when it comes to other sisters in the Lord, what a gift you and I could be to others if we considered these 5 remarkably simple ways to be a low maintenance friend to those whom God has brought along our paths:
1. Don’t get easily offended
For years I’ve been telling myself and others that I never get offended. I’ve prided myself on the fact that no matter what others do or say, I can just brush it off and stay neutral and unphased. However, my loving, and painfully honest husband, has gently told me on many occasions that this is not true 🙂
So, on this public platform, I humbly admit that I do indeed get offended at times. However, there is one verse that has helped me to not often become offended, as potentially hurtful words and actions of friends have come my way.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:7
If you desire to be a loving friend, then bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring what comes your way, are integral parts of friendship (within reason, of course).
The one specific aspect of that verse that has helped me most with becoming offended less easily, is ‘love believes all things.’
- If your friend turns you down to go out for a coffee three times in a row, believe that she is simply going through a busy time in her life, and that she is not rejecting you.
- If your friend comments that your home is looking tidier than usual, believe that she is not saying your house is usually a pigsty, but rather that she is praising you for making the effort to be more organised.
- If your friend only talks to others at a gathering, seemingly ignoring you, believe that she feels comfortable enough in your friendship to talk to other people.
If you are thick skinned, giving others the benefit of the doubt in every situation, you will save both yourself, and your friend, much unecessary heartache and discomfort.
Always believe the best.
If you are not easily offendable, you will be a low maintenance friend as folks won’t ever feel they need to walk on eggshells around you.
2. Take initiative. Be the first.
From what I’ve experienced, the best policy when it comes to friendship is that giving is more blessed than receiving (Acts 20:35). This is actually a beautiful concept in Scripture!
- God gave us His only begotten Son, with no strings attached (John 3:16).
- We are told to love our enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return (Luke 6:35).
- We are urged not even to demand anything back from the one who takes things from us (Luke 6:30).
Moreover, we see the example of our Lord in taking the initiative and loving first each and every time. We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19).
So, I say, take this approach into your friendships:
- Be the first to invite without waiting for an invitation.
- Be the first to say sorry rather than anticipating an apology.
- Be the first to offer assistance instead of expecting your friend to reach out to you.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly
Proverbs 18:24 (KJV)
If you initiate without ‘keeping score’, you will be a generous, uncomplicated, and low maintenance friend.
3. Listen and Talk
Being a low maintenance friend involves being able to exhibit a proportional talking/listening balance.
Enjoy practicing the skillful art of true listening when your friend has something to share. There are definitely times when one person in the friendship has more going on in her life and needs to talk more. In those times, by all means be the listening ear; the sounding board that will help her process her thoughts and work things out in her heart and mind. At times you may be the one doing a lot of the talking, especially in the event that you’re experiencing trying circumstances.
Balance that out with offering what is on your heart freely by openly talking, sharing, and being honest about where you’re at.
If you participate in the friendship by being both a talker and a listener as needed, you will be easy to talk to, and will communicate freely, which makes up another quality of a low maintenance friend.
4. Treat and spoil
Display a generous and thoughtful heart in spoiling your friend with little treats. Some ways could be to:
- Send her an unexpected card in the mail just to say that you are thankful for her friendship.
- Pick a pretty flower and deliver it to her with a smile.
- Place a yummy treat in her mailbox when she’s not expecting it.
- Email a link to something she would enjoy reading or watching, to show that you are thinking of her.
A good idea is to identify your friend’s love language and spoil her accordingly!
- If she’s a ‘quality time’ girl, surprise her with a voucher for a coffee with you at a local place she likes.
- If she’s a ‘words of affirmation’ woman, write her that card expressing what a huge blessing she is to you!
- If she’s a ‘receiving gifts’ type person, pick up something small she’d like and give it to her when she least expects it.
There are countless creative ways to treat and spoil the friends with which God has blessed you.
He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
Job 6:14
Surprising your friends with sweet, thoughtful gestures will contribute to you being a low maintenance friend.
5. Be real!
To me, this is one of the most crucial and important aspects of being a low-maintenance friend!
Not many activities are more draining, discouraging, and disheartening than trying to detect how someone is really doing from behind an “everything’s great” façade. In fact, to be honest, I think there is only so deep a friendship can go if you or your buddy are putting only your best foot forward.
I’d like to encourage you to wholeheartedly reveal the true circumstances of your life and the condition of your heart to friends that you trust.
Vulnerability, honesty, truthfulness, and openness go a long way in saving a sister the guesswork, giving her the privilege and opportunity to speak into your life. I’ve seen over and over again, that when I’m ‘real’ with my friends, they in turn feel the freedom, comfort, and reassurance that they can be ‘real’ with me. And that is what true friendship is made of!
Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence, but a false witness utters deceit.
Proverbs 12:17
Being authentic, sincere, and honest at all times is the hallmark of a low maintenance friend!
May God truly enrich your friendships, and continue to develop you as a friend who is easy to bear, effortless to love, pleasurable to get along with, and low maintenance to enjoy for years to come!
I would love to hear any additional suggestion that you may have for being a low-maintenance friend?
