Just after our first baby was born, I could not understand how anyone could ever get angry with a child. God’s new creation lying in my arms was so sweet, seemingly innocent, and naïve.

“What would posses a grown person to lash out and vent on children?” I would ask myself.

Looking back, of course, I was the naïve one. As these precious little cherubs grow up, they can defy, disobey, destroy, be dishonest, and do everything that pushes our buttons and rubs us the wrong way!

It can be very understandable for us, as parents, to be upset and yes… let’s just put it out there… get angry! Even more so when you are dealing with your own circumstances, which may be leading you to be tired, stressed, worried, or frustrated. Add some backchat, misbehavior, or laziness of little ones to the mix, and who could blame you for blowing your top! I understand. Anyone who has had children for more than a couple of years understands…

However… getting angry as a mom, justifiable as our reasons may be, does not make it the best or holiest way to respond to your child… which you and I already know. The fruit of self-control in our lives, as moms, may never be put to the test as greatly as when we are tempted to lose it with the ones we love most – our beloved children.

I believe that there are 3 essential tips to combat mommy anger that would be helpful to consider when you’re about to get angry with your child. These will hopefully turn things around in your heart and mind, and cause you to extend grace rather than growl, and forgive rather than fume.

Seek Peace and Pursue It

God’s Word is clear about how we are to conduct ourselves with other people. We are to be at peace with all humans! And guess whom the Bible places that responsibility upon? You and me!

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Romans 12:18

“All” includes your children ☺

Did you catch the, “so far as it depends on you” part?

As the adult in the situation, it depends on you to maintain a peaceful relationship with your child. Click To Tweet

Your young one may be declaring war with his behavior and his choices, but you are the one chosen by God to keep the peace in your relationship.

And guess what? There’s something in it for you! In Matthew 5:9 Jesus pronounces a blessing on peacemakers (i.e. you!). So when you refrain from getting angry at a child who is deserving of it, not only are you reflecting the character of your heavenly Father, but you are also called a child of God by Him! You really can’t go wrong making that choice!

Furthermore, dear friend, our Lord also commands that you and I “seek peace and pursue it…” (1 Peter 3:11).

Think about the word pursue for a moment. When you pursue something:

• It refers to something that is difficult to attain
• It usually relates to something that takes a long period of time
• It is an action that requires persistence and perseverance (you can’t lie back and relax while you’re actively pursuing something)

So, the first essential thing to remember when you’re about to get angry with your child is that you are called to maintain a peaceable relationship with him and that you are to seek after and pursue that peace, no matter what it takes.

Believe All Things

1 Corinthians 13… aaah… the Love Chapter. Tucked in among the beautiful descriptions of what true, holy love looks like, is verse 7 which says, “[love] believes all things.”

Believing all things refers to believing the very best that you can. This may require you to use your imagination, to examine the situation and look for the best possible scenario, to look at the occurrence through loving and kind glasses and believe the best about your child.

Of course, I’m not saying that you do not need to discipline as you see fit if your child needs it. Or that you should brush sinful attitudes and actions aside. To the contrary. But if you purpose to “believe all things” as the Bible states, your anger should progress from a boil to a simmer to a smile as you lovingly consider the various reasons that led to your child’s actions.

Imagine you had just baked a beautiful cake for some guests arriving this afternoon. You turn your back, and your 4-year-old son has taken his grubby little finger and run it diametrically across your work of art enjoying the icing tremendously as he places it in his mouth! You turn to catch the end of this scene, and you physically feel your blood beginning to rise to your ears!

Then you remember that love ‘believes all things’ and that you did tell Jimmy earlier that he could have some of the icing once you’d finished baking the cake. You realize that you hadn’t clarified that he could lick the bowl with the icing in it, but not to touch the icing once it’s on the cake. You also start to believe that Jimmy did not maliciously intend to ruin your cake and to do anything to intentionally upset you.

And as you start to ‘believe all things’ in love, your blood goes back to where it belongs, and you calmly tell Jimmy, “Oh Jimmy, when I said you could have some icing when I finished the cake, I meant that you could only lick the icing in the bowl. But don’t worry, I think we have just enough icing left to cover that big straight line that you made across it!”

So, the second essential thing to remember when you’re about to get angry with your child is that you are called to believe all things – believe the best about your child and the situation, as this is the most loving thing to do.

Maintain Your Witness

Thirdly, but by no means least important is this:

Your children are your mission field. Click To Tweet

You and I cannot and should not automatically assume that our children are saved. And as such, as mothers, we are to always be mindful that we are evangelists in our own home.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 5:16

Just as you seek to be salt and light to unbelievers at the supermarket, post office, and among the parents at your son’s soccer club, so you should work at being as beautiful, holy, and blameless a witness to your own children in your own home. They need to see the fruit of righteousness and godliness in your life.

Joy, peace, honesty, forgiveness… whatever you are expected to be as a believer in Jesus as laid out in His Word, in order to win souls out in the world, you are required by God to be at home to your unsaved little ones…

Your children are reading your life. Evaluating your integrity. Examining the Truth, through your actions and reactions.

Sobering, I know!

So, the third essential thing to remember when you’re about to get angry with your child is that you are called to be a witness of our Lord to your child.

For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
James 1:20

And righteousness is what your children need to see in and through you, as their faith is developed and as they yearn to emulate the example that you set. If God chooses to save your children, it’ll be by his endless and unfathomable mercy, but as mothers, we cannot abandon our post of shining the Light and Love of the Lord in our homes to our children who may not yet know God.

May our Heavenly Father help us to be self controlled and Spirit-led as we aim to live peaceably with our children, believing all things according to His love, and seeking to be witnesses in our homes of the everlasting Hope of Eternal Life with Him.

What helps you to combat your mommy anger? What will you start implementing that can improve this area of your life today?